nice try feds

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

they're only called spotted deer when you see them

they're only called spotted hyenas when you see them

they're only called spotted lungfish when you see them

my "i love nuance" t shirt is raising a lot of questions but no one is liking how long my answers are

girl who constantly walks into things discovers mysterious new bruise

once you start saying “yippee!” you will never stop

getting into spreadsheets will rock your world. just start collecting data. learn formulas. its so much fun to use a formula

i got a semiotic parasite and now the space between my name and what my name signifies is all inflamed and itchy

theres been a terrible on purpose down at the accident factory...

bela lugosi's dead and me also i feel not so good

Loudly telepathically broadcasting this post to my spreadsheet mutuals

the cursed armor you can never take off once you put it on stays ON during sex. due to the aforementioned curse.

they dont want us to know this but the real cure to the agonies is to engage in shenanigans. tomfoolery even 

my thoughtful & principled contrarian tendencies vs their baseless & reactionary contrarian impulses