We YOLO.

Dog refuses to get out of bed then proceeds to fall asleep looking after baby

“Now THAT’S how you quarantine”

Doggo has mastered efficiency 

@bakedcheesemonster is trying to get chest reconstruction and it is so expensive, but we’re doing our best. We could really use a lot of help or this is not going to happen.

“Please help me get top surgery. Insurance covers some but not all surgery and after-care expenses. Any help is greatly appreciated.“ 

- from jaden, my husband

Aries: Today is a good day for throwing bottles at god, because every day is a good day for throwing bottles at god.

Taurus: Remember to recognize your fundamental place in the universe as a pest that will eventually devour the corpse of your oppressors.

Gemini: Divided we flee, but together, we form a consistent alibi. 

Cancer: Nothing ruins a good righteous fury like systemic analysis of a problem.

Leo: Careful around the entrance to that ancient legendary sealed stone city under the mountain. That whole place was made before OCSHA regulations.

Virgo: Those who live in glass houses should only throw stones for the insurance money.

Libra: Elegant solutions are the result of practice, not necessity. Start with quick and dirty and figure it out from there.

Scorpio: Everyone needs a vacation eventually. This is when they are vulnerable.

Ophiuchus: The value of today’s fortune depends heavily on your opinion of rot.

Sagittarius: Don’t consider what the emotional equivalent to decapitation is because you’re going to find out anyway. 

Capricorn: The stars kept trying to give me your fortune today but it kept getting drowned out by a passing train. 

Aquarius: Fuck it. Carry a scythe around. Who even gives a shit.