smolbeanboi

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

i’m so thirsty… won’t you use /water to water me?

/water

I don't think that's how you drink but I'm certainly no expert on the matter so...

Don't shy away from chatting with staff and curators either!!! Please!!! They love it when people come to them with questions or a desire to learn further!! Get involved, see if they take volunteers, as local museums often struggle to receive the funding to be staffed properly, and public assistance helps greatly. Museums, as institutions, are flawed, but many, many folks involved with them do want to make them better, and the way they get better is by diverse bodies, voices, and people engaging with them!! PLEASE go be a nerd.

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

[ID: Close up of a mug held up in front of a blurred desk background. The mug has a blank Excel spreadsheet printed on it, with a large Excel logo and the words “Freak in the Sheets” overlaid. End ID]

i know jackshit about excel but i need this

You can get the mug HERE

ten years ago I was walking through my high school in a wet swimsuit to get my dive coach when I witnessed a girl getting in trouble because she had a custom LED belt buckle that scrolled the message “BOY GIMME THAT JOHNSON” and I loved it so much that I couldn’t even go back to practice, I just went home and went to sleep

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

in the porn parody of the french revolution is he called Disrobespierre?

@nereb-and-dungalef

i love the part of making art where you feel like you need to go missing

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that

like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real

i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍