Time Waster @smileyface-nutcase - Tumblr Blog

My favorite tumblr post:

My favorite tweet:

My favorite Reddit post:

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brucebocchi

this tweet is a foundational text for terminally-online bi people everywhere because let's face it, many of us are the grungler, but "whatever happened to beauty" legsweeps me every single time

himbodiaz

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

hmslusitania

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

tevankinkley

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

faerytale-wings

My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.

People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like “boy or girl?” And they’d panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.

tungledotfuck

Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??

faerytale-wings

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

sailatina3

sternfleck

Thoughts and prayers to my European mutuals suffering under their omega heat

ralfmaximus

do NOT google "omega heat"

chocomiking

prayers for the people googling "omega heat" for the first time

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anticurses

littleguysdaily

f3v3r-dr3am

littleguysdaily

paintbrushofthetoontown

please.

when this image is completely unrecognizable i will get this on a t-shirt

@i-make-images-moldy

tumblr reinvents "expand dong"

virovirokun-has-adhd

@thisdastampdoesnotexist

blogname214

littleguysdaily

molten222-deactivated20251128

littleguysdaily

minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

tartrazeen

I love the part where someone obscures the middle, then someone else goes back and excavates the more higher resolution version without that shenanigan, yet absorbs some element of it dutifully

Another chip in the Boss Baby's chocolate cookie

littleguysdaily

lilyblisslys

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

mollyjames

real-deer

zoo wee mama

smalllfieldmouse

my ex used to get pissed off every time i showed them this video they would be like "that's not how a train works" really angrily and storm out of the room

smalllfieldmouse

everyones gotta stop reblogging this bro they're gonna find it and get so mad they try to strangle me again

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shubbabang

rockergiirl

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

jesterattack

I habe some bad news

rockergiirl

BOTH TOWERS?

finlizziah

They hit both pussies, yes 😔

hppjmxrgosg

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

no-sharks-on-the-sun

they killed him for this

mushroomemoji444

paulhiller on instagram (Taipei, Taiwan)

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