Apparently Not The Only Slim Shae-dy

Ilya is a cat. Ilya makes eye contact with Shane from across the room and slooowly reaches his hand out to knock his expensive skincare products off the counter. Ilya wants attention and wants it now and who cares if Shane's on the phone with his bff? Ilya will hiss and scratch at anyone who hasn't earned his trust but let Shane pet his belly and boop his nose. Ilya will explode the whole house if Shane doesn't pet his hair the second that he wants him to. Ilya was made in a lab just to annoy Shane and be loved by him more than life itself.

As the audience, we already know that Ilya loves Shane because we heard him say it in Russian. But we also know that love is not enough - Shane loves Rose but they weren't compatible. Sometimes love isn't enough, for a variety of reasons.

This is why Shane and Ilya are terrified of coming to the cottage. Because we still don't know if they're compatible beyond the incredibly hot sex and psychic level hockey passes. The tuna melt date was nice before Shane crashed out, but that was just one afternoon.

"I like you" is the missing piece in their relationship. I know that I love you and I desire you and we play good hockey together, but do I like you?

The cottage scenes answer: yes. I like playing with you and I like cooking with you and I like talking to you and I like sharing space with you and I like sleeping next to you and I like waking up with you. I like you.

supporting the shane as snoopy agenda

what shane means: i can never love a woman in any way resembling the way i love you and when i tried she called my shit IMMEDIATELY so what im trying to say is i can't sidestep whatever we are the way you can, i will never ever love anyone but u

what ilya hears: somewhere along the line of our multi-year situationship that began with me immediately sucking ur dick, i have determined that i like men.

Then I saw that ending and Simon literally almost drowning in some of the most viscous and goopy fake blood I have ever seen. Like.... I have never seen fake blood in a movie look so coagulated and old before.