"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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izzy's playlists!
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@crumplelush
ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds
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in my heart i know that cliff and ilya got so drunk they couldn’t stand straight and then went to the boston cop slide together at like 4am
Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.
And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho
If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.
and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it
i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw
After Ilya stays in the cottage that first summer, something shifts in a way that scares Shane. He's used to getting completely wired around Ilya: each hookup night meant falling asleep no earlier than 3am, either because they were all over each other until the late hour, or because Shane was pacing around his hotel room, unpacking what just happened.
But now, he gets so tired whenever Ilya is around. His eyelids start to droop and, even though he's spent days or weeks looking forward to reuniting with his boyfriend, all he wants to do is fall asleep in Ilya's arms.
He decides to go to the doctor for some labs, checking for conditions that would make him fatigued. Words like leukemia and lupus came up on his Google searches, so he braces for the worst.
"Everything is perfect, Shane," his doctor tells him over the phone a week later. "But, you know, if you're worried about it, you could talk to a psychiatrist."
He makes an appointment for the next day with the first psychiatrist he finds. He explains the issue again: extreme sleepiness, maybe even narcolepsy, if Web MD is right. After more prompting, he specifies that this happens specifically around his partner.
The psychiatrist smiles at him. "Do you know much about nervous system regulation?" she asks gently. When he shakes his head, she explains further. "There are some people or settings that cause our nervous systems to feel calmer, and, especially for people who spend a lot of their lives in a state of fight or flight, those soothing feelings can make us tired and sleepy. Maybe your body finally feels safe and able to rest."
He doesn't tell Ilya about this until months later, and he's met with a loud squeal and a thousand kisses on his cheeks, jaw, forehead, and collarbones. "I love being your safe place," Ilya says.
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i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)
everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell
someone says something about nepotism and in a fit of rage ilya posts a bunch of videos of their kid at the grand age of eight years old defending the net from their father. and it’s an unacknowledged fact that The Shane Hollander has never gone easy on the ice at all, and the fact he’s playing his still single-digit kid does not change this one iota
and the kid is WINNING. shane is clearly not pulling his punches and a significant number ARE going into the net (because, at the end of the day this is still The Shane Hollander vs a middle-schooler) but the kid is saving enough goals that it’s noticeable
and ilya captions the post. “if our child is capable of this level of goaltending at 8 imagine how good he’ll be in ten years” and then his next post is “oh wait, you don’t need to imagine” and the accompanying video is some of the best saves he’s made that year
(their child also has a brutal sense of humour that the world discovers the first time he’s mic’d up. “why are they mic’ing the goalie?” everyone asks, then the commentary starts and they immediately understand. a petition goes round for him to be mic’d every game. he’s not, but he is mic’d more frequently than the average goaltender)
we are NOT bringing 4chan incel terminology to this site, take that "foid" out of your post and go wash your blog out with soap
the memeification of fascism is a proven method of perpetuating and instilling it in other people. Layers of irony will not protect you once you adopt racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic terminology into your lexicon. you'll be acknowledging and nursing the mindsets and connotations borne of those words.
shane is literally a Boyfriend guys he’s stocking the cottage full of stuff he’d never eat bc they’re ilya’s favourite snacks and he’s driving his passenger princess around and carrying ilya’s bags and asking what he wants for dinner and waking him up in the middle of the night to be like ‘hey here’s how we can be together forever until we are old and wrinkly. do u agree yes or yes’
and even before that he’s constantly checking if his baby is okay and he’s sitting in that stairwell cuddling ilya’s jacket and he’s so desperate to hold ilya’s hand when he’s off his head on painkillers. he’s rereading old texts. he’s got his phone in his hand and he’s texting ilya when he’s literally just got off the ice after winning the cup again and that’s years before they’re even together. he’s inviting ilya to the cottage because he gets two weeks off a year and he wants to spend them both with his favourite person
he’s a loverboy! he’s spent so so long wanting to be able to connect with ilya like this and now he finally can! he was born to play hockey but also to be ilya’s boyfriend!
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We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning rn and my dad just opened the door to show my dog because he was begging to go out and it reminded me of that part in Dracula where Dracula opens the door to the howling wolves and Jonathan’s like um actually I’ll stay inside thanks
awesome awesome interview with Emily Wilson
this highlights the difference between a work being feminist because it was written by a woman who believes that women should have rights, and her beliefs influence the choices she makes in her work; and a work that is feminist because the author intentionally set out to write a feminist text. those are very different things. there’s also the third thing (which isn’t happening here) of people assuming that the author being a woman means the work is feminist. seen that a lot when we all know that a lot of women are not feminists so it’s a silly assumption to make
I feel like Ilya would definitely get some “ball and chain” type of comments regarding Shane and at one point he ends up in a group of guys who start ragging on him when he's thinking about heading out early, calling him whipped, joking about Shane having him on a tight leash, and Ilya ends up just saying, genuinely confused, “do you guys not like your wives?” There’s complete silence for a second before Ilya continues, “maybe you should give them the chance to find someone who actually enjoys spending time with them." And then he goes home to his husband, who also happens to be his favourite person in the world.
Imagine world famous model Ilya who has to do a photo shoot with snakes and he hates them BUT the snake handler is super cute so maybe he lies and tells him he likes snakes because its just going to be a one time hookup
And suddenly he's in a committed relationship with snake handler and so he has to keep up this lie,
Shane of course knows but he likes fucking with him
fucking his way too close to the sun 😔 man pulled a dickarus 😔
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A woman admires the enormous size of a Sequoia tree, California 1950s.
do you ever think about how shane watching ilya cum for the first time was the hottest thing he’d ever seen
