Folded in half and nearly split in two

"So, how did you two meet?" That was fine, safe territory.

They both answered the same way, "a parking lot in Saskatchewan when we were 17."

But, the question, "so who made the first move?" Unsafe territory, turn back now.

"You introduced yourself to me!"

"That wasn't making a move! You organized a whole photoshoot."

"You shook my hand, twice! You looked me up and down!"

"I did not!"

"You had a crush on me."

"You had a crush on me!"

"You called me a hot player to watch."

"I did not and you know that, Rozanov."

"My English wasn't good."

"You - okay, draft night?"

"What about it? Oh, when you kept staring at my cock?"

"No! When you kept touching my hand and had your legs all spread in front of me!"

"You were staring at me."

"You winked at me."

"You took water bottle."

"Because you told me to!"

"Well, you were blushing on photoshoot."

"You called me pretty, twice!"

"You were laughing!"

"So were you!"

"Because you kept looking at me like - like that!"

"You told me you organized the shoot!"

"You agreed to it! You wanted to see me again."

"You starting jerking off at me in the shower!"

"Only because you were checking out my ass!"

"I was not!"

"Yes, you were! I would not do that if you were not checking me out!"

"You asked for my room number!"

"You waited for me to come out of the shower - I gave you time to leave!"

"I was drying my hair."

"You were waiting for me."

"I was not, I just wanted to talk!"

"Talk! You wanted to talk to hot Russian you invited to your room at night?"

"Yes!"

"You were on your knees in five seconds!"

like i don’t give a shit about football and haven’t watched a single game but have spent hours watching the tartan army cone-ifying boston and the norwegian fans rowing up escalators on tiktok

Doctor: not…really…?

Shane: well more often then not I just stay in whatever position he puts me in. Although sometimes he likes me to ride him so I guess I’m more active then?

Doctor, trying to act professional and not like she’s learned some earth shattering news that she cannot tell anyone: oh I meant are you having regular sex

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

this is not an ~uwu you’re too delicate for a swim~ post. this is a DON’T SWIM IN THE SAME BODY OF WATER AS A 200,000 TONNE VEHICLE AS YOU WILL LOSE AND YOUR PUNY BODY WILL BE EVISCERATED post.

even when those ships are not in sight the current and undertow caused by their movements are still happening below the surface and this is dangerous for humans to swim in.

It took him about ten minutes to realize that they’d been sitting in silence. That even though Shane had been enjoying the quiet, his body buzzing with a ridiculously happy feeling at the way his toes tapped firmly on Ilyas as they sat, feet-to-feet, on opposite ends of the couch, Ilya was probably ridiculously bored just sitting here scrolling on his phone.

Shane swallowed, struggling to think of what to say. “Um. It rained today.”

Light eyes twitched up from Ilya’s phone screen. “Yes. I was there,” Ilya nodded, lips curling upward as he rolled his eyes almost fondly.

He swallowed, flushing. Fuck. He’d never been good at this. But shit, Ilya was looking back at his phone, and oh god, he must be so fucking bored. Shane had to decide what to talk about, fast.

“Uh. We can have hot dogs. For dinner later. I asked the lady at the store which kind was best, since…you know…I don’t usually eat them.” He said this fact like a peace offering, trying to prove that even though he sucked at talking, he did desperately want Ilya to have fun while he was here.

Again, Ilya looked up at him with amusement in his eyes. “Okay,” he murmured. But…he didn’t seem annoyed or upset to be here. 

It didn’t make sense.

And–fuck. Ilya looked back at his phone again.

“D’you want to–” Shane began, shifting uncomfortably, no clue where he was going with his offer but so damn nervous about Ilya’s attention slipping away.

“Shane.” Ilya put his phone down on his chest and looked at him, this time like he was looking through him, into the most vulnerable recesses of his soul. “Is okay. You do not have to…entertain me. I am here to be with you, yes? Is okay to just be quiet for a little. I am happy to just be here and relax, like you said. You do not have to…pretend for me.”

Relief, sweet and all-consuming, flooded Shane. Unable to stop the small smile that bullied its way onto his face, he nodded, looking to where their feet touched. “Okay,” he murmured, reaching back to his own phone.