Slice of they

put rainbow laces on all my shoes recently which is fun and sexy but has the side effect that i have gotten multiple "i like your shoelaces" from strangers and like. i cant NOT "i stole them from the president" in return. just in case. but its recieved mostly awkward laughs and looks of confusion. embarrasing myself in public out here over my damn shoelaces.

id lie right to willy wonkas face. “did you drink fizzy lifting drinks” of course not. And then id hit him

This is why you won't inherit the factory.

i dont want the factory. I want to see fear in his eyes

hey babe wanna watch me reblog the same images for 15 years

the funniest part about metroid is that ridley is a completely sentient/human level intelligence but he just acts like that cause he's a hater and an asshole

not to sound like a medieval peasant but, cheese and bread. garlic and butter. a menagerie of spices. potatoes. that’s what life is all about right there.

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

Do you hate them or do they frustrate you? Cause hate is a strong word to use

I’m actually glad we don’t live in an RPG world. We really take for granted being able to coexist with most animals. I don’t wanna have to pull out a longsword and beat the shit out of six crabs and two snails while a starfish snipes me with magic bullets every time I go to the beach.

it used to be like that

Crabs, certain snails, and starfish will all prey on bivalves. Actually so do we, obviously. It’s not that we dont live in a JRPG world but that we are high level bosses in a JRPG world for scallops.

i think they shouldve taken me on a polar expedition not because i would be useful or especially resilient but because my preexisting mental health conditions would have made me an interesting wildcard