Will Ask To Fight But Is Shy

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

that’s still four people

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

you and me are going to outlive this website. you and me are going to outlive everything. one day it will just be you and me

some people have tagged this with their various favourite fictional characters or even worse, their friends and lovers. let me be crystal fucking clear. it’s going to be you. and me.

thank you for putting a random white boy on my post i guess

OP NO. ADDING A WHITE BOY TO A VAT OF ACID CREATES A "THE JOKER.:

fuck.

Only good tiktoker is that cat w the big wide head that sits with its elbow up on the table with a stern grouchy expression and a drink

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

I love environmental storytelling

Its fucking hieroglyphs with you people

if you got to antarctica and you went outside you firstyour eyes freeze out and then your balls freeze off and you fall to your knees they shatter and you lay there and you get a boner and it freezes off. polar bear crushes yyou

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

in november I'm getting my shit together

The zipper merge requires a level of cooperation and goodwill that the citizens of this great country have never once displayed

location sharing in modern relationships is so bizarre to me. like I get having find my iPhone on or whatever but if my S/O texts me some bullshit like “why is your location saying you’ve been at 337 South Front Street for 30 minutes?” I am considering them a hostile entity. we are no longer dating. you are like a slasher in a horror film to me now. you do not need to be up my ass like that. checking a loved one’s location should be a last resort if you can’t contact them and you have reason to worry. then again, I’m one of the few souls alive who refuses to turn on read receipts or text back in a timely manner. very much a call me if it’s important, be patient if it’s not kind of person.

“how long have you been on tumblr?” i remember the term “nightblogging”

*takes a drag from an imaginary cigarette* I remember you knew you stayed up refreshing your dash too late when the Australians started posting

Remember: an animal that is growling (or rattling in this case) likely does not want to hurt you. That's their "fuck off" warning, not their kill engine revving up.

i watched a movie so i need to reblog a few gifsets of that movie to show that i watched it. you guys understand