I will Fistfight God

Developing allergies as an adult is so weird b/c you’re just going about your life assuming you’ve got the basics of existing in a corporeal form figured out and suddenly it just WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I ON FIRE

never mind it turned out i just inhaled cayenne pepper, false alarm

update: guess who’s allergic to cayenne pepper

this post i-

bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me.  butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal.  i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

Ill give you a hint, it moos

thanks yeah it’s the moose