He really went in w those last two tweets
Bruh I felt this with every fiber of my being
šš¼šš¼šš¼šš¼šš¼
Iām so lucky to call Andy a friend. Iām so grateful that he wrote this.
Sade Olutola
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@skwartiger
He really went in w those last two tweets
Bruh I felt this with every fiber of my being
šš¼šš¼šš¼šš¼šš¼
Iām so lucky to call Andy a friend. Iām so grateful that he wrote this.

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weekday moodboard: jake peralta edition
panic really does turn you into a complete fucking moron huh
to be clear, this is about timed missions in video games
Me: knows full well where each button on the control is, can press x without even looking for which one is it.
Quick time event: āPRESS THE X BUTTONā
Me: āOH GOD OH FUCK, THE WHAT??ā
Reblog to make a transphobe uncomfortable eating M&Mās
They did the same with the Brown M&M
Clearly theyāre together too, two happy Trans Women Lesbians.
How do I explain to my family that Brie Larson can hip thrust 400lbs without making it sound like the gayest fact Iāve ever learnt

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Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth on the set of āMen in Blackā
This is humanity put to good use. Screw all the stuff thatās happening these days, this is basically the only reason I like us stupid ape people. Little things like this, designed to keep us all happy and busy
i love this!!!
I would like to share thisĀ beautifulĀ passage with all of you, itās long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didnāt alter any of this.Ā
ā¦.
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the showerās water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter ā hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hildaās rich chest.
As Hildaās buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm. āHilda,ā Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hildaās warm thighs. āThere is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.ā
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
āTorolf,ā Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. āI need you.ā Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently. Hilda looked at him expectantly. āOh, sorry,ā she added. āTorolf, I need you ā sexually.ā
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolfās undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinsonās. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. āTorolf,ā she said softly, āthereās something I have to tell youā¦ā
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
ā¦.
DICK
ANEURYSM
GALLOPING ABS
Who told this lady she could write?
Why did she ever stop?
IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG
i fukcing lost it at meat wand
āentered her like she was a lotteryā š
mikaatqueen
ITāS BAAAAAACK!
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinsonās.Ā
oh my god. Im still laughing as I type Web this. I guarantee I will still be laughing after I post this.
She felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment ššš
Wait, butĀ
āHer snooch got all warm, tooā
āthe soft pink petals of her clungeā
WHAT??? WHY???
I made my husband read this aloud to me with voices and now my ribs are bruised from laughing.
I am at work at the library and I am breaking our silence rule by laughing very loudly.
@hardbucky @magellan-88 @mischievouslina-rp @onceinanightmare @stars8melanin @softiestevie @thesparkyalphathor @echo-fallen-incubus @the-winter-dork-rp
Guysā¦.guys! *Cackles*
Just sent this to my husband & heās almost crying from laughing
Whatā¦
WHAT DID I JUST READ, OMG???
Oh, my eyes! š±š±š±
I wonāt suffer alone. ššš
@mastreworld @lokilover9 @burningarbiterheart @iamhisgloriouspurpose @vesperazylra @the-lokis-queen @lisams20 @lokiloveforever
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
šššššššš
Ahahahah ! My jaw hurts ! Iām dead š¤£š¤£š¤£
This.is.art !
@kylotrashforever , if one day you donāt find inspiration for smut, i believe i found your muse.
You can thank me later ;)
@luciefee spongy love mountains
Help. I canāt breathe. š
Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Was her flower pollinated?
What do you meanĀ āwhy did she stop?āĀ
She never stopped. Sheās an unstoppable dick attack machine. BEHOLD
@my-moonlightsonata @bittersweet-faerietale
Its Baaaack!ššš
@scarletraven1001 @charlemagne96 writerās goals xD Iām laughing so hard xD
@blacksheep1105 @charlemagne96 I have seen this many times and I will always, always reblog for Dick aneurysm. š
@glitzescape @bellaren18 @michellestarswept @empressdarkren @kylotrashforever @monharki @ajedisgirl @lilyevansreyjakuu @akylodarkly83
If you ever catch me writing smut this cheesy, call me out on it OK? šš¤£šš¤£š
@buffshipper8490 will do šš thatās gone WAY past cheesy into the crackhead level. But if you can buy this this shit at Target and Barnes and Noble, then anyone can make a living these days. š
Iāve heard of this before but never read it and omg Iām crying š š š š š š š
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says āyouāre a disgusting little manā and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking itās important and then it says that

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your little sister is a serial killer
well maybe if adoption was more accessible to single parents and lesbian couples, witches wouldnāt have to go haggling for peopleās firstborns
This is one of my favorite posts on this website
Sherlockās parents didnāt attend his funeral because it was fake. Harry Watson didnāt attend her brotherās wedding for the same reason.
I think some adults need to realize that teens donāt dislike adults because teens are rebellious and punk, a lot of kids and teens dislike adults because every interaction theyāve had with them is dismissing and condescendingĀ
Iām not even a teenager anymore and I still feel like this.
Notice the fact that when teenagers have favorite teachers itās the teachers who treat them as equals and donāt talk down to them but with them

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Husband: Whoa, have you seen young Patrick Stewart?!
Me: I donāt think so. I kind of assumed heās always been old.
Husband: Turns out he was handsome as fuck.
DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMN.
What the fuck do you mean āwasā???
Things Disaster Movies Always Get Wrong
We all love disaster movies! The cool special effects, the underdog stories, the underlying themes of hope. As cool as they are, they do tend to use misconceptions about natural disasters. This normally wouldnāt be an issue since Hollywood will always embellish but itās important to know the true science behind these phenomena should you ever encounter them.
1) Pyroclastic flows will kill you almost instantly, you cannot survive a direct hit
Movies guilty of this: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Danteās Peak
Pyroclastic flows exceed 100km/h and reach temperatures over 1,000°C. You definitely cannot outrun it in either car or on foot. The boiling hot toxic gas, ash, and lava in the flow will kill you instantly and pummel your smoking corpse into oblivion. Sorry, Chris Pratt.
2) Tsunamis do not crest, they are more like a sudden flood than a wave
Movies guilty of this: Literally any movie with a tsunami ever
Tsunamis are massive and sudden floods caused by the displacement of ocean water due to earthquakes or massive landslides. Theyāre not tidal waves and thus do not crest. Itās poetic, but inaccurate.
3) Hail is always spherical and doesnāt fall in big cinder blocks of ice
Movies guilty of this: The Day After Tomorrow
Hail can get quite large and can definitely be fatal, but they are exclusively spherical. Hail is formed by water droplets cycling through the updrafts of a thunderstorm and the rotational movements make the resulting hail a ball.
Looks more like a stage hand is throwing the remains of an ice swan than a hail storm
4) You cannot freeze instantaneously. Not even in space.
Movies guilty of this: The Day After Tomorrow, Geostorm, The Cloverfield Paradox, Sunshine
Space, and certain places on Earth, can get exceedingly cold. The coldest temperature ever recorded on Earth was ā89.2 °C. Thatās damn cold. But you still wouldnāt flash freeze into a peoplesicle within mere seconds. Intense cold can kill you quickly if youāre completely exposed but it would still take time before your body would be a thoroughly frozen chunk of meat. As for space, it can get quite cold, but itās also an empty vacuum. Thereās nothing around you but empty void, which means thereās also nothing to transfer your body heat away from you. Without convection, your body heat would be lost via radiation and that can take a long time.
5) Earthquakes over 10 on the Richter scale are physically impossible on Earth.
Movies guilty of this: 10.5
You would need a massive fault line to carry that sort of energy. Something on the scale of going through the earthās core. Which does not exist . Even then, if such an earthquake would occur, the planet would literally explode.A 15 magnitude earthquake would release energy on the magnitude of 1x10^32 joules. That, coincidentally, is the same amount of energy contained in the gravitational binding of the Earth. Simply put, anything greater than 9.9 on the Richter scale is impossible and would cause the Earth to explode.
6) California will and can not sink into the Pacific like a big slab, and it canāt break away from the rest of the US.
Movies guilty of this: 2012, 10.5
Most movies cite the San Andreas fault as the reason for the cleavage, but even this isnāt enough. The San Andreas fault is a transform fault, meaning the North American plate and the Pacific Plate are slowly horizontally grinding past each other, not pushing away. As California is a part of the greater Pacific plate, it literally could not snap free from it to āsink into the seaā. Because if the entire tectonic plate underneath California where to flip over and sink then the entire ocean would drain away into the mantle.
7) You canāt sink in lava. You also canāt stand near it without being burned.
Movies guilty of this: Volcano, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Lava is molten rock, and is incredibly dense. In fact, itās three times as dense as humans, who are mostly water. If you were to cannonball into a lava pit, you would dip in a bit before bouncing to the top and floating. You would also burn up and die super quickly. Because fresh lava can exceed 1,200°C! Even standing a couple feet away from a lava flow, you would feel the intense heat radiation. You would lose your eyebrows and probably the top layer of your skin if you stood too close. Thereās a reason why volcanologists wear protective suits. Sam and Frodo would have been roasted.
Can we make one of this but with Anatomy, biology and microbiology facts against Horror and Slasher movies?? Some mistakes are funny to watch but theyāre so common that they became annoying.