tea & spite & pitch black night

vladdy jr. & sanchez | PHI @ TOR | 2026.06.09

May 23rd 2026

Every time I see them in the dugout it's Scherzer in Yapbot 3000 mode while Trey's internal monologue is the Mii Channel theme being played on a jug

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

Compatible.

and you're just like. well shit. that will do it i guess.

He and Shane's secret is out. But then he thinks... it's not out completely. He watches the video again, a glutton for punishment, and thinks it can be taken a different way if he gets in control of it. That people will see what he wants them to see. He knows he's fucked regardless. His management from Russia will drop him and the damage is done already-- he can never return to Russia. Whatever he would be advised to say, there's nothing that would keep him safe if he ever stepped a foot back home. But he can still help Shane, who's with his perfect girlfriend Rose Landry now. He doesn't need this mess and if Ilya's able, he'll clean it up as best as he can before Shane even wakes up. Maybe it's what he owes to him for being an idiot and kissing him in public all those years ago. Maybe it's what he owes him for being stupid enough to say Shane's name like they could ever be more than something that lives in the dark. Shane's through with him, maybe hates him. Will probably hate him once he wakes up to this. But Ilya can still do one last thing for Shane before it really is over forever. Ilya and Svetlana work on a statement for the next hour without getting approval from any management or organization. It's a statement that will have Shane wake up to less of a shit show. Hopefully. Ilya's thankful for the small mercy that it was him that initiated the kiss back in Vegas. He just hopes everyone believes the lie he and Svetlana spin... When Shane wakes up, he sees notification after notification. Then he sees the statement that Ilya made on twitter regarding the video that had him have a panic attack in bed: "When I was young, I stupidly thought there was someone who maybe had the same secret I did. I was wrong and made a poor decision. He was a little more than surprised by my actions and it left us both embarrassed. "Hollander, I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into this by a mistake I made when we were kids. I’m sorry my misreading of a moment has brought only more embarrassment to you so many years later. I’m sorry it’s caused speculation about your life and relationship. "And I’m sorry there are people who believe our rivalry on the ice would ever stem from you being capable of hate. Unlike many of my colleagues, Shane Hollander would never hate me over that. Being annoying, yes. Being a better player, also yes. Being into men? Not so much. "Sorry to disappoint everyone but the only one here with a secret is me. Hollander is too boring for complicated things. "And to be transparent: I am bisexual. That's the first time I've said it out loud. Being from Russia and the career I have, it's something I've had to keep hidden for survival. But I am not ashamed. "Maybe a little ashamed a rejection from years got posted but never for who I am and always have been." Shane reads it for what it is. It's protection. A shield Ilya's made for Shane out of his own flesh.

but it's driving me mad

fun fact: baby louis

ik he's not starting tonight but since we're playing against chicago i need everyone to see foetus cease

he's just a little guyyyyyyyy

yeah.