Punk From Concentrate (More Bang For Your Buck)

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

my emotional support self neglect

saw an absolutely hilarious animal crossing theory that i now 100% accept and it’s that in the animal crossing world, humans are going extinct, and so all the animals have locked you in an elaborate zoo enclosure and are trying to give you enrichment. and that’s why they give you infinite pointless tasks, hide money in trees and rocks, invented debt that doesnt matter etc. it’s why they always act so happy to see you even after you raze the entire island, relocate their houses twice, and always act so pleased about your choices no matter what. it’s all to keep their little endangered human healthy and enriched. and thinking of it this way has genuinely improved my experience of the game

The fucking artistry

It’s once again time to admire this again. Rent free in my head always.

ahshdhf okay but can you imagine being madame morrible and you finally find the one person you need to secure yours and the wizards positions of power and she’s PERFECT because everyone hates her and by providing literally the bare minimum comfort and encouragement you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to brainwash her. And then one night at 1 am she shows up at your door and BEGS YOU to let her roommate (didn’t they hate each other?) study alongside her and you absolutely despise the roommate but goodness knows you Cannot let your most promising student in decades slip out of your grasp. Worst of all, you have to tell the roommate Right Now??? So you get dressed for the club in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to talk to the preppiest most shallow 20 yo girl you’ve ever met in your years of teaching. I would never teach a lesbian again LMAOOOOO

I have female hysteria AND male loneliness

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

you gotta be as gay as possible on the computer otherwise alan turing died for nothing

One of those fandom things that I love is when there’s new characters around and, with the unwavering confidence of an old farmer appraising cattle, fanfic authors take one good look at them, tilt their imaginary hat, and go “Aye. Praise kink, that one. Mighty case of praise kink if I ever saw one.” And everyone else just “aye.”

@cynaram

“Ah, a heritage crop.”

The shipping forecast.

The Fandom Almanac

“I think I’m going to sow some rarepairs this season. Don’t know what the market for ‘em will be, but I can eat ‘em if nobody else wants to.”

if there was any justice to chess, becoming the world chess champion would let you make one small en-passant level rule change to the game for the duration of your reign. like Carlsen beats Anand and he is ceremonially cloaked with the King's Crown and the Scepter of Chess and he says "uhhh, thanks guys. as my first decree as Chess Champion, pawns on the A and H files can capture forwards as well as diagonally" and the crowd goes wild. and grimly, chess masters around the world throw out their plans for "Vishy's Chess, Openings and Theory, 3rd ed." and open a new word document titled "magnus_stupid_bullshit_chess_NOTES.docx" and start theorizing.