Eclectic Alchemy

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

The problem is I always want to dm my mutuals some shit like "I consider you an ally to my cause"

Reblog to tell your mutuals "I consider you an ally to my cause"

And as soon as I figure out what my cause is, I expect you all to rally to it.

when youre nice to me this is who youre being nice to *picture of an evil dracula*

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

#we can't afford to see a physician but we do get to see the hat man (via @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier)