lying in front of the street cleaner

did the street cleaner believe you?

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people

It seems like every fight the paladin gets that big red icon above her head and the boss singles her out to do this massive attack to. But it's never once happened to me. I am going to call this phenomenon tank hypervisability.

And then she gets all the heals? Why don’t I get any heals? This is DPS invisibility

this is unironically one of the most beautiful photo sets i've ever seen

i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going….my god

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

i think it’s cute when someone texts you after hanging out just to say they had fun with you, idk little things like that are sweet to me

The Dom should be praised too

Take care of your doms. Praise them. Make them feel cared for and loved. Or you don't deserve them.

And then no one reblogged this version

I feel like some people are very protective of saying "I love you", treating it like some magical words, I've even read people say they consider it a red flag if someone says it before ~6 months of dating which is insane to me. How can you kiss someone regularly without wanting to tell them you love them? "I love you" isn't a promise that I will love you forever, but I love you today and I think that's what matters.

idk this makes me wonder what love even means to you?

If love only exists if it exists forever, I'm sorry to say fewer than 100 people have ever loved in the history of humanity

the thing is, TRUE love just hasn't been achieved yet

Then what did I have with my mother

*your

FUCK

mary shelley writing about a monster rejected and abandoned by its creator and dedicating it to her own father i need to smoke a blunt with her i need to give her head