Call Me Maybe is so deep actually. If ‘before you came into my life I missed you so bad’ was sufjan Stevens, tumblrinas would have gotten it tattooed on their ribs in typewriter font.

Andulka
AnasAbdin

Kiana Khansmith

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almost home

titsay
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dirt enthusiast

Love Begins

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
wallacepolsom

oozey mess
we're not kids anymore.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
styofa doing anything
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
h
cherry valley forever
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@sigerson1701
Call Me Maybe is so deep actually. If ‘before you came into my life I missed you so bad’ was sufjan Stevens, tumblrinas would have gotten it tattooed on their ribs in typewriter font.

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Grace: *Retroactively freaking out about Doing A Misogyny™*
Rocky: Me and the bestie!!! :)
How dare you leave this in the tags.
Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices
Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

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"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"
I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,
i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while
i am kissing you on the mouth right now
you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events
I can do it. I can write a chapter. I am capable of putting sentences together. I know what a comma is. I am Aware of the Character.
i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'
i was parked at the beach yesterday and a Real Biker Dude pulled up beside me. Like on a big handlebar motorcycle with his whole life packed onto it. a real rambling man. a son of the highways and byways. and he looked down at my mini-series purple e-bike and he was like "what a sweet little thing! how's it ride?" and we talked my e-bike specs. i said i liked his motorcycle and he was barely interested in talking about it except to tell me where he got it in case i ever want one. but he loved my little bike.
this is a problem for me because now i feel respected and powerful so from now on i'm gonna roll up with my e-bike to other guys on their motorcycle and be like "sick bike. reminds me of mine if it were less space efficient..."
i'm gonna go to leather bars and start calling myself a biker instead of a cyclist.

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“It's not fair.” The little ghost kicks impotently at the chalk lines around her feet. “I ain't done nothing.”
I nod, setting down my chalk and spellbook. “It does sound like there might have been a bit of a misunderstanding.”
“She took against me, that's what happened,” the dead girl says with a scowl. She looks about fourteen, round faced and spotty, with whisps of brown hair peaking out from under her mob-cap. Her face and her crossed arms have a tell-tale bluish tinge to them. A cholera death.
“I been here for don't know how long and never gave any trouble. Nobody ever complained about me 'till her.”
…well, that's not strictly true.
Number 12, Barclay Street has been attracting rumours of haunting since the mid nineteenth century.
Sounds of faint singing and crying in the corridors at night. Cold spots. Doors that open and close by themselves. Animals acting strangely. Harmless, mid to low-level stuff, typical for a bored teenage poltergeist.
Still, pointing that out isn't likely to achieve much, and certainly the most recent complaints of blood running down the walls, screams in the dark and paralysing night terrors seem distinctly out of character.
The ghost toes the chalk again, more tentatively this time. It stays resolutely unbroken.
She could get out if she wanted to. I'm not one of those assholes who brings out their full arsenal of wards and sigils for a first meeting with a level 2 spectre. The summoning circle will keep her in one place for as long as I need her to talk, but it wouldn't hold for a moment if she really fought against it.
I take it as a good sign that she's still here. Pouting or not, she's clearly willing to work with me.
“None of the others could do this,” she says. “None of 'em even saw me.” She looks up. “Are you here to exise me?”
“Exorcise,” I say instinctively, and curse myself when she flinches. “Sorry, no, no! I don't exorcise people from their homes without good reason, not if they're happy where they are.”
“I was happy. Till she started calling in all them ghost hunters.”
Mrs Delaney had been quite persistent in her attempts to 'fix' her haunted house. Most of the people she found were charlatans, of course, but I'd still arranged an appointment as fast as I could once word reached me. It wouldn't have been long before she happened upon somebody with Talent, and unfortunately not everybody in this field knows how to behave like a professional.
“I think we might be able to help each other,” I say, careful to keep my voice calm and level.
“Don't see how. Not unless you can exorcise Her.”
“Not quite what I had in mind.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my photos. “You say that you're not the cause of the most recent incidents of paranormal activity?”
A pause. The ghost gnaws on her lip. I wait, patiently, keeping my body language open and nonthreatening. “I… I knocked her coffee cup over,” she admits at last. “She was being mean and talking on her telephone, saying I done all these things when I never did! So I decided to show her what I could do if I wanted.”
“Hmm.” The ghost eyes me nervously, as if expecting me to pull out a book, bell and candle and banish her on the spot.
“I only tipped it,” she adds. “I didn't break it or nothing!”
“You shouldn't have touched it at all,” I say sternly. “But… I can appreciate that you were frustrated, so let's say no more about it.”
The ghost looks relieved.
“My point is,” I continue, “if you weren't the one making blood rain from the ceiling or tormenting people in their sleep, then what was? There's no other ghosts on the property.” I find the picture I was looking for. “You can get anywhere around the house, right? Including behind the furniture and in the backs of cupboards?”
“Yes'm.”
I hold the phone up so that she can see the picture on the screen. “I'm going to let you go free in a moment, and I need you to see if you can find anything that looks like this.”
The ghost wrinkles her forehead. “What's that when it's at home?”
“Black mould,” I say, reaching out a foot to break the binding circle. “And I'm pretty sure it's the cause of this haunting.”
loveeee characters who think they're likable but not lovable. characters who know they have surface-level admirable or alluring traits and so make sure to highlight those traits so that nobody looks closer to see what's underneath. characters who know they're hot or clever or cool and use that as a suit of armor so that no one ever gets close to them, because when they strip bare and show their vulnerability they're not any of those things, which means they have nothing left to make up for who they inherently are
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/
theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh
Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this
absolutley enchanted by cobepee
in grade 12 we were reading romeo and juliet and we were at the romantic-ass balcony scene and this hot girl in the class volunteered to read juliet’s parts and i put up my hand to volunteer for another part and the teacher goes ‘oh do you want to be the nurse, amanda?’ and i was like ‘no i wanna be romeo’ and the hot girl swiveled around in her seat to give me a Look™
she and i later ended up making out at a bunch of parties in university lmfao
in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move
I too got a girlfriend over this play. In grade 10, I was reading the balcony scene to study with two other people (one guy and one beautiful girl) and I insisted point blank I had to read as romeo, because he had the most lines and I’m a dramatic little shit.
So the other two in my group are used to my antics by now. We’re all friends, so the pair of them decide that the one guy in our group gets to be the nurse. Now, my Juliet and I have been friends for a couple months by this point, so I decide to be a little more dramatic.
We put Juliet on a spinny chair, and pump it up as tall as it goes, and my baby, closeted lesbian ass crouches on the floor, ready to be as melodramatic as possible. Like, I’m about to do a rendition that makes William himself walk into the class and tell me to take it back a notch or twelve.
And then I look up.
And holy shit.
There she is, Juliet, haloed in the worst fluorescent light known to mortals across the globe. Light just streaming down around her, that weird off-green colour that it always is. And she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My little gay soul is barely holding on as the words barely leave my lips, breathlessly. “But soft… what light from yonder window breaks?”
And Juliet was the sun. Romeo was not exaggerating that line at all.
Juliet and I have also been together for more than 4 years now. She’s every bit as spectacular as she was when I was a lovestruck teenage Romeo, kneeling on the yellowed linoleum floor of second block english.

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james ortiz headcanoning rocky and adrian's relationship as an arranged marriage that worked out better than either of them anticipated is an absolute game changer for me personally. like hang on a second. the implications.
so you're telling me that rocky was forced into an arrangement that overrode his consent for the good of society and the continued survival of his people? that despite the circumstances he made a connection with someone he could love? that he didn't think he'd ever be able to experience that kind of wholehearted belonging with anyone again after they had to separate to save the universe itself, until a second chance to invest that unwavering faith born from love in someone miraculously presented itself? wow. that's crazy. i can't possibly imagine anyone else who might have gone through something similar.
those little rock people are about to experience the most sociopolitically turbulent hostage negotiation in eridian history when rocky and grace pull up in orbit with the taumoeba after four years to get realllll comfortable baring the most intimate vulnerable parts of themselves to each other i think
I'm all out of elegant well-phrased thoughts. Anyone else think Ilya "gonna butter him up so he stays" Rozanov sucked Shane off on the countertop when Shane got to his house in episode four? Like, he didn't pull that move of lifting Shane onto the countertop just to kiss right? It was Step 1A of his grand plan, titled: "suck him off while in a half-squat." Anyone else think he made Shane come like three times so that by the time he asked Shane to stay the night Shane was like 90% sex hormone, 5% Hockey on TV later, 4% hungry guy, and 1% thinking brain? Forget the tuna melts. Ilya was like "I have to exhaust him physically and deposit him on the couch with hockey on TV in comfy oversized sweats and his favorite Canadian soda." Ilya knew he couldn't put on a shirt this day. The shirtlessness was the primary anchor of The Plan. All this was planned. And the son of a bitch almost pulled it off.