A Casebook of Curiosities

Being an Eridian scientist has to be so funny. You train your entire life as a biologist, becoming specialized in your field, probably giving lectures or educational speeches to other Eridians, and then the star savior Rocky comes home with his weird pet dog. Your job is now to cultivate food so the weird dog who is the age of average baby doesn’t die. The dog also saved the stars. Your job is making dog food out of the dog. You also learn that you and the dog have the same job. You are the happiest scientist on Erid.

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

still thinking about that time i was at the airport and the spinny machine tagged my cock with a hitbox & i walked right up to the tsa guy with drunk conviction and before he could say anything i was like "ready to touch my penis boy?" and he got so defensive and scared but either way he still had to get down on his knees in front of me to— oh god and the nervous gulp he exhibited

he was HORNY

he was not, i was sexually harassing him bad

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript 

reblogging one of my most underrated posts: the dying dog test

I’m gonna make my medical school advisees do this on their application essays too I think.

[trying to flirt with ms frizzle] hey val. can i call you val? i've always liked how most of the working professionals you know appear to be homosexuals. how about you take a chance on me, and we can make some mistakes and messes at my place? [sniles] [she turns me down with a pun] [i walk dejected out into the parking lot] [The Bus runs me over]

trying to undress ms frizzle but when you pull off her dress there's a second, "lingerie-patterned" dress underneath

WHERE is that poem about that person learning all about their partners hyperfixation before getting dumped the last line is like "love is a stack of books on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end" I need it to feel whole help me please

how am I supposed to stay sane after reading this smh