Agent Rouka's Blog

like I get it. I'm aroace-spec, I'm an aroace Ryland Grace truther. I get how people connect that line to aro/ace experiences

But I see it brought up ALL over and every time I just wanna say like, Yao and Ilyukhina DID have family/significant others/etc and that didn't disqualify them from the mission!

Stratt didn't want Grace because he had no immediate family so it's "okay" for him to die. She wanted him because he was the best qualified for the job and would give Earth the best chance of survival. That's it. Everything for her is about increasing the likelihood the mission will succeed.

like real people do

inspired by chapter five of Equanimity by dkspeace, it made me sick and unwell and you all should go read it

sketch under the cut

a curiosity

Give up yourself and your soul and your freedom and give up your scientists and your engineers and your pilots and the greatest minds on the planet and your time and your resources and your tears and hope it pays off, despite the odds. Do you believe in god? Do you believe in us?

Killing something free

Not quite sure whether I like this one, since I’m happy with the rendering, but the vision I had was different from the finished drawing.

imagine something devastating happens. despite all of your efforts to align every asset available to you in order to just pull off the greatest feat in human history, your plans are splintering apart. it could be your fault, you will worry about that when the phone stops ringing and when the remains of the research lab can be swept away. the pressure is unbearable.

you have exactly one out left. the manifest of coma resistant crew members says there's more, but the only real option is right there on project personnel. your signature is on every line, but his direction formed its earliest phases. he has studied astrophage inside and out. you know him even better.

your last resort can't even look at you when he says he can't do it. he says you can't talk him into it. his walls fortify when he's asked to give up all that he has - he cannot prune himself like you have.

he can't afford to keep a classroom and a bike, but holds onto them. he won't be able to hold onto his life when he gets old and the weather turns dire. he would watch it happen and know he did not do everything he could have.

he refuses to sacrifice what you already have. you are sorry. you are really not.

there were a lot of eva doodles today actually