boom baby

if you really want to fuck a vampire then i’d say you’re down for the count

damn thats a lot of notes and a lot of vampire fuckers, i guess its time to raise the stakes

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

happy halloween month time for my favourite post of all time

Toothpaste. It's just frozen toothpaste.

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time

I've seen enough.

just heard the austin powers theme playing faintly somewhere in the house, I’m the only one here

Losing it over the “2 ingredient pie recipe” I saw on Instagram where the ingredients are 1. store bought pie crust and 2. store bought pie filling. GIRL THATS NOT 2 INGREDIENTS THATS A REGULAR PIE

1 ingredient pie recipe: buy a pie at the bakery

mcqueen

im begging of you please dont take my man

Cryptid sighting

Baby Yaga