If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek

I’m not astrology but god I love Scorpio stereotypes. I like that the zodiac has a cartoon supervillain sign.

sorry I can’t hang out today I have to plan a graveyard orgy ritual for my mystery cult. soon my dark purposes will be fulfilled. you know how it is with sinister puppetmasters… ah ha ha ha.

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

People on Twitter (and elsewhere) love to say "retard" and "low IQ" now and I'm not only talking about nazi accounts but just your average account. It came out of nowhere just this year too. Really annoying.

I've been telling people that IQ is perhaps the most normalized example of eugenics and the pseudoscience that is psychometrics

Anything that is based in IQ is bogus because IQ is simply fake data

“this character did not act in the most objectively logical way possible!” is not ! actually valid literary criticism

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Holy fucik

I always reblog this because it never fails to actually make me snort

according to my german-born/speaking boyfriend: Above the eight fortes in that Fucik piece it says “Nichts fuer Lauwarmduscher” which is “this is not for people who take lukewarm showers”

confirmed, and at the end it says “kein langsamer werden” which roughly translates to “don’t you fucking slow down or else”

I want to know what comes before ‘Instrument husten zu wollen’ which implies that someone wants to cough into the instrument

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

just like a cokey cola......

Hey everyone, looks like the “cat summoned for jury duty” was ai generated - even has the ai symbol at the top. Thanks for the heads up, @cannot-all-throw-inkpots . My apologies- I did not realize when I shared it.

Aww dangit. Guess that makes sense, but it was so believable because I can 100% see that kind of goofup happening

Some positive news: There really WAS a cat summoned for jury duty back in 2010. Turns out the error was quickly corrected and the cat did NOT actually have to travel to the courthouse. But at least we can enjoy the fact that a papereork glitch did once try to give a cat jury duty XD

my friends and I have created a game we call Quipposting, where you play quiplash but you roll a wheel full of character archetypes, and whatever it lands on, you all answer as if you are like, a wizard or cowboy. This legitimately makes quiplash go from a fun enough game to an S+ tier absolute unabashed banger

the best characters are Mafia Goon, Cyberpunk Hacker, Castle Guard, Sewer Rat, 16th Century Peasant, and Alien Poorly Pretending to be Human

OP we desperately need examples

The idea of listening to no black music is bizarre to me. Even if it's not rap like no earth wind and fire? No reggae? No moonstomp? No ska? No classic jazz? No R and B? No disco??? No skindred? No jungle? No even like metal bands with a few black members? No gospel? Not even stuff like alors en dance? No blues music? No mo town? No jazz of any kind? No big band? No soul music? Not even a little James Brown?

not even yola or tanner adell or brittney spencer or tracy chapman or india.arie or chapel hart or the carolina chocolate drops or rhiannon giddens????