My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre
But it can hit if you plato the right crowd
Misplaced Lens Cap

Andulka

#extradirty
d e v o n
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă

gracie abrams

bliss lane

EXPECTATIONS

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
đŞź

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
NASA
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@shinyredjacket
My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre
But it can hit if you plato the right crowd

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this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this
Sperm whale mimics a spinning diver.
Humans: *encounters Earthâs Largest Carnivore, who would could swallow them whole, probably*
Human: ⌠Spin?
Earthâs largest carnivore, with a brain that weighs almost as much as this naked beach ape*: SPIN!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPERM WHALES ARE CARNIVORES
I THOUGHT THEY ATE KRILL AND STUFF LIKE OTHER WHALES
Nope! Sperm whales eat extremely large deep-sea squids, like the Giant and Colossal Squids. They have also been known to opportunistically eat dead whales, sharks, and seals, but not actively hunt them. They got real big teeth for it too:
However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw! they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:
It should be noted that the human here isnât in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of itâs multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of itâs sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like âbeing kicked by a horseâ and some have suffered internal organ damage. Sperm whales, like other large whales, arenât particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.
I know that in US waters, itâs illegal to intentionally come within 300 yards of any whale or dolphin, and if one appears closer you should turn off your engine or stop paddling to avoid accidental injury to you or it. This human is doing something dangerous and ill-advised, but itâs still hopeful that we can love something like a 130,000 lb deep-diving, squid-eating Oceanic former ungulate.
idk man not to sound like a cartoon hippie but if your entirrrrre blog and dash is about how the world sucks and everyones bigoted i think you are going to give yorself brain worms
"ah but all of this is important and true and if i dont reblog all of this important stuff waga baga THE WORMS! THATS WORMS! THE BRAIN WORMS!
i do not think you are doing activism chief i think what you are doing is sitting in your room flagellating yourself expecting something to happen

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idk who needs to hear this but itâs healthier for you to just accept that youâre gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesnât want to hold onto
I have to upload this as a video bc you can see her think this in real time
OP you just can't leave out this golden comment
The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:
You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank
Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind
unmute for the unfathomable sounds of mankind being shamed
being for mankind of shamed sounds the unfathomable unmute
the scene where Rocky runs off to get a clock, and Grace kinda just stands there waiting and apologizing for talking so much while Rocky bops back into the screen, just chirping away--and we know those aren't idle sounds. it's language. it's Rocky talking, just as much as Grace is talking. Rocky has been so, so alone for so, so long and meets this creature who makes so much noise all the time, and even though they're sort of talking over each other it must be such a comfort to just have something to talk at, to have something talk at him. imagine if Rocky had known that Grace was apologizing for being the sole beacon of sound and life Rocky has come into contact with in five decades.

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Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean
Iâve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.
This is fucking killing me
Golp: a roundel purpure.
Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning
Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:
Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Letâs meet them!
Bezant: roundel or (gold) đĄ
Plate: roundel argent (silver) âŞď¸
Torteau: roundel gules (red) đ´
Pomme: roundel vert (green) đ˘
Hurt: roundel azure (blue) đľ
Golp: roundel purpure (purple) đŁ
Pellet: roundel sable (black) âŤď¸
If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.
Letâs make tea
Tea
Water
Sugar
Honey
Milk/Cream
Lavender
Edible Glitter
Do it for him
Its time
Yep
â cup water
5 â teaspoon half and half
17.5 teaspoons of edible glitter
2 tablespoons plus 0.85 teaspoons of lavender syrup
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon of honey
Only thing left to calculate is the tea itself
36 tea bags
Okay so in the end I was only able to steep 20 tea bags in intervals before I had to stop out of concern that I may stop getting water back
That being said I did lick the spoon clean that I used to mix it but Iâm chalking it up to a brief tea induced moment of insanity since it is very bad tasting, Iâm currently wondering if I can cook it into something so it doesnât go to waste
I would like to suggest trying to make bread with it
You win
Itâs in the oven now, it blends in with the pan itâs in
It changed colors in the oven
Admittedly this tastes way better than it did on its own, itâll probably be palatable with jelly or something
The slice looks like a brownie
It honestly looked creepily like mostly cooked ground beef in person when I first cut into it
*asks tumblr to help make tea
*Tumblr makes bread instead
Sounds about right
i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw
The fact that they even act like there is a choice is a travesty. Climate goals mean fewer people dying of heat stroke. AI data centers mean... vague notions of computing power over rival nations? Do the climate goals! The planet is on fucking FIRE! How is this a fucking choice?
itâs not just Europe either, in Canada our supposedly more politically left government pretty much immediately scrapped any attempt to meet our climate goals in favour of AI data centres and oil pipelines. when questioned about it the prime minister had this to say:
"We can't afford to restrain the growth of an important part of our energy mix, oil and gas, to meet a short-term goalâ
the short term goal, of course, being the climate action plan put in place by his own party under the previous prime minister.
meanwhile millions of hectares of forest burn
i fucking hate it here đ
my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor
âWhile many people think fanfiction is about inserting sex into texts (like Tolkienâs) where it doesnât belong, Brancher sees it differently: âI was desperate to read about sex that included great friendship; I was repurposing Tolkienâs text in order to do that. It wasnât that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be ⌠friendship-ized.â Many fanfiction writers write about sex in conjunction with beloved texts and characters not because they think those texts are incomplete, but because theyâre looking for stories where sex is profound and meaningful. This is part of what makes fan fiction different from pornography: unlike pornography, fanfic features characters we already care deeply about, and who tend to already have long-standing and complex relationships with each other. Itâs a genre of sexual subjectification: the very opposite of objectification. Itâs benefits with friendship.â
â Francesca Coppa, âIntroduction to The Dwarfâs Tale,â The Fanfiction Reader (via francescacoppa)
Someone put it into words. I gotta sit down
Itâs this exactly. As I remember saying back in the X-Files days, I didnât want Mulder and Scully to look like what the media portrayed as a romantic couple. I wanted the media to portray a romantic couple the way they portrayed Mulder and Scully

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Eva Stratt really did bring a nervous shaking dog into a room full of wolves and said everybody clap for him or Iâll blow this whole building up. Absolutely nobody is doing it like her. Captain of the Pathetic Little Guy Club.
I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanityâs highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.