You're in the know, right?

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

you'll spend so long in deep discussions of gender online and then go talk to someone in your real life family and find out they still havent gotten past "women can be good at things" and its like oh okay jesus christ i forgot some people are still on the baby steps huh

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

you motherfucker…

that's a cat ✅️

I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

ts 😭 @m-ozzy

WHAT 😭

😭 LMFAOOOO THATS THE KNIGHT PAINTING THING

IM GONNA DIE BRU 😭😭😭😭😭

WELL OBV I DIDNT MEAN CHAINMAIL UNDERWEAR OR HIS ASS OUT BUT THE GIST OF IT OKAY