IT IS CHIVALRIC TO KISS ONE'S BROS

1. they found the kuttenberg map and subsequent quests less engaging than trosky because it felt like henry had fewer personal stakes in the conflict after killing istvan.

2. they didn’t discuss the romance.

i don’t blame these folks for not including romance analysis in their 1+ hour videos, it’s all good, BUT. i was lowkey tearing my hair out like ahh that’s the point! henry is driven by purpose, and when his original goal of vengeance against istvan is fulfilled, he is left conflicted and drifting until he can find purpose in something new…or something (someONE) that’s been there the whole time. henry’s story is about disrupting the cycle of violence through human connection! refusing to let vengeance consume you by finding other reasons to keep living! and even without the romantic angle, henry finds purpose in his role as hans’ friend/protector, and hans too finds purpose beyond the constraints of his noble status in his bond with henry!! literally as soon as henry gets to suchdol fortress he’s like “idgaf about your truce, jobst, i need to save capon.” after being tortured, killing istvan, retrieving the sword, and fleeing trosky, henry is exhausted and desperate for a new reason to keep moving forward, and he reaches for hans. always hans.

obviously i am biased, but i truly believe that the story of kcd2 is better by romancing hans. it’s optional, sure, player choice etc, but so is confronting markvart outside of suchdol, and i think we can all agree that that scene is very impactful on the story and themes. there’s SO MUCH MORE i could get into on why i think the hans romance is essential to understanding kcd2 and henry’s story (they are narrative foils, they have parallel but opposite coming-of-age storylines, they are both redefining themselves in the wake of trauma and refusing to be what others say they are, hans kisses first - chooses henry first - but henry commits to hans in return, no more running from yourself and who you are and what you want to be) but that would be full-essay territory, probably, and this post is obnoxiously long as is.

hello friends it is me back with a fresh new wip !! i was recently tagged by (for a variety of wip games)/am no pressure tagging DEAR FRIENDS @apollabarnes @winter-parrot @thegingerparty @capitalnineteen @sad-girl-hours23 @devirnis @ambernotember @wee-fuckin-woo @beanarie @letsdosciencetoit @queermccoy @queerasbuck @bisexualbrainrots @frogsinflannel @sierranovembr @chococara25 @setmeatopthepyre @nine-one-wanton @thecarrott @exhaustedpirate @quintessenceofdust88 @honey-n-bear @owlgirl495 and @ YOU!!! yes you PLEASE post some new work!! any work!! and tag me in it!! :)

@leashybebes said "therapy puppy play" recently and i blacked out. this is actually way less horny than you'd think!! surprising, i know. for context, because i miss monsterfucker monday, buck is literally puppy-like, with ears and tail and a knot what who said that last part, and he works as a sort of therapy dog, sort of cuddle therapist.

John William Waterhouse, La Belle Dame sans Merci Dicksee Frank, La Belle Dame Sans Merci

"La Belle Dame sans Merci" ("The Beautiful Lady Without Mercy") is a ballad written by John Keats in 1819. The poem tells the story of a knight who meets a mysterious and beautiful woman in a meadow. (I met a lady in the meads, / Full beautiful, a faery's child; / Her hair was long, her foot was light, / And her eyes were wild.)

She enchants him with her beauty, sings to him, and takes him to her "elfin grot". (She took me to her elfin grot, / And there she gaz'd and sighed deep, / And there I shut her wild sad eyes / So kiss'd to sleep.)

@apoptoses

henry's pretty normal to look at soft. his dick is in sport mode, if you will, lulling hans into a false sense of security.

hard he's not even that much longer but he's thick. the kind of thick that's a little hard to wrap your hand around, that you know is gonna make your TMJ act up thirty seconds into the blowjob. just absolutely slinging meat.

and hans is like, that's not going in, no way. and henry's like don't worry, i didn't get my degree in alchemy from that old woman's hut for nothing, i'll whip something up to get it nice and slick and come hell or highwater we'll make it work.

then, to riff of a now defunct buzzfeed post, ripped from the internet for being in 'bad taste' (smh) bottoming for him for the first time would put anyone, but especially hans, through the five stages of winnie the pooh grief:

Denial: "are you sure you've put that thing in other people before, hal, because i simply don't know if god intended for you to penetrate anything but your own hand-"

Anger: "christ's wounds why did I have to choose to do this with the one man in bohemia who's wielding a fucking battering ram in his pants, this isn't going to work!"

Bargaining: "holy mary, mother of god, if only you ensure he doesn't split me in two i'll never, ever tell anyone that hanush is an illiterate eunuch again- which is only half untrue, mind you, and really not that much of a sin, but-"

Depression: "sakra, henry, you really might as well give up, i suppose it's better to live in disappointment than suffer the humiliation of further failures, you're just too much-"

Acceptance: "kurva! is it in? it's in? jesus christ be praised i thought it would never- oh god"

Bonus image of hans after taking that absolute weapon henry's got hidden in his hose:

Inspired by Alphonse Mucha 👇

My beloved dead son.

(Under the cut because spoilers)