hello gruesome

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

The Clarifier would like to make just one more comment

you've been summoned for july duty

guys im feeling quite vulnerable now and i need u to be honest with me. If an evil palette swapped clone of myself started wreaking general mayhem with villainous intent you'd be able to differentiate him from me right. You wouldnt get us totally mixed up and accuse me of committing all the evil deeds he did

everyone is meeting me in the grotto

high nineties in Paris is fucking insaneeeee European mutuals please survive

105 in Paris?? in June??? ☹️

well you know what I always say: thank god this is a totally isolated fluke event and not reflective of any greater patterns

sent a risky text lets all kill ourselves

send that risky text boys

do NOT SEND THAT RISKY TEXT

Boass can I go hoame I lack the human spirit