Musings of a Crazy Lady

no. I mean romanticize whatever you want. my stance has always been “write whatever you want, however you want.”

not to mention that you can’t always tell if something romanticizes bad things. two people can read the same fic, one can say “this romanticizes non-con”, the other can say, “no, this doesn’t romanticize anything.” it’s all about each person’s interpretation. it’s all subjective.

that said, if someone wants to romanticize bad things in fiction, then go ahead. it’s their rights and their freedom to create whatever they want, however they want. no censorship means nothing is censored, doesn’t matter how it was written/created.

and if these taboo fantasies are someone’s fetish, then as long as they’re not harming anyone in real life, what turns them on is literally none of your business.

incest and cnc kinks have always been one of the most popular kinks, and most people who are into them can separate fiction from reality.

(and if some of them can’t, their inability to separate fiction, kinks and fantasies from reality is not other people’s problem or responsibility.)

fanfiction is not an act of activism. someone’s kink and what they do in bed with their consenting partner is not an act of activism. kill the moral cop in your head. fanfiction and kinks don’t have to be “morally correct”. it can be whatever turns a person on, however turns a person on, and as long as no one in real life is harmed, what they do and how they do it is no one’s business.

Hannibal (2013 - 2015)

Remember: The "'E" in email stands for evidence.

That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.

But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.

Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: "I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx" Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.

Me; That's illegal.

Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh...

Me: That's an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.

HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.

Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.

I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.

HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.

Me: You still haven't given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.

HR: Oh haha yes here you go.

The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.

After a casual conversation with friends, write up a brief synopsis of what you discussed & agreed to. (...Do not email this to friends unless you have their agreement that this would be a fun group project.) Get practice with,

"A, B, and C had a brief meeting about food options after the big game. We decided on pizza, with A&B agreeing to contribute X dollars each, and C agreeing to contribute Y dollars and also bring soda. A will call for pizza on the day of the game and schedule it for delivery at 8:30 pm."

"A, B & C discussed movie options. A wanted something lite and fun; B wanted something scifi; C was fine with anything but horror. Nobody wanted superheroes. Decided on Lost Space Wanderers which opened last weekend; C agreed to research theatre options and report tomorrow."

...and so on. Practice describing the results of "meetings" with friends and you'll be ready to sum up "boss told me to set aside Project A to focus on Project B for the next two weeks" - because what's likely is that boss didn't say anything that clear; boss talked about how important Project B is and how the company needs parts X and Y done asap and you have the best skills for that, and when you mentioned how much time Project A was taking, boss said "eh don't worry about that right now; marketing is breathing down my neck so we really need part X by Friday, okay?"

...at no point did you get a direct instruction.

To: Boss

From: you

Cc: work group, team lead, project partner, direct supervisor, etc.

(Depending on severity of problem) Bcc: your personal email

"Hi Boss, I'm trying to resolve some confusion here. After our conversation about priority projects on [date] I reached out to you for confirmation of these details (see attached outlook item) and didn't receive an update to the timeline since that communication. I have been working from the agenda we discussed (summarized in attached outlook item from [date]) in absence of further direction. Do you have a copy of your response updating the changes or correcting mistakes in my summary? It's possible that I didn't see your email and I'd like to identify where a communication was missed so that we can avoid issues like this in future projects.

Best,

[Name]"

There are ones I dislike, and ones I like.. to spare you the ones that I dislike, I picked out my favorites from MOST favorite to least favorite 😌

“Just because —” Bond stumbled, unsure how to complete that sentence. Just because I manipulate people on instinct? Just because I’m a whore for my country? He settled on an inarticulate frustrated gesture of his hand, plowing forward regardless. “It doesn’t mean that — that I’m not sincere. That I don’t really mean it when I say that I want to try, with you. You know every damned thing about me, Q. How can you not know that by now?”

- Bittersweet by dr_girlfriend

Like people might roll their eyes at him or find him annoying or a bit much but that's pretty ordinary, really. People have mild criticisms like that of loads of people. Everyone has at least like 3 people at work that they kind of internally groan when they have to work on a project with.

But I think most people that know Bond see the loathing and assume oh it's just because he knows X or Y about himself. Like oh yeah he's fucked up because of all of *waves hands at their place of work*

And I think it's only people like M (not Mallory) or Tanner who have known him very closely for really quite a long time who properly get how bad it is.

So then when Q discovers this deep well in him where he had expected a pillar of trauma in a puddle of course it's a shock. And Bond is shocked that it's a shock because he's long given up trying to keep it a secret. He assumed his band-aid of bravado was as transparent for everyone as it would be for him looking at someone else doing the same.

It's a long-compounding problem which has resulted in him considering his worth as a human being to be equal to his worth as a meat machine to Six. Even though he hates it, really, even though the guilt plagues him and he sees enemies in the shadows and he rarely sleeps though the night. It's not logical, it's not something he could be talked out of or shocked out of with some act of kindness or loyalty.

To me, Bond is an interesting study in contradictions that you may even see as having contradictions within themselves. Cuz like. *points to the internal narration above* I think it's easy to see that and call it "self-loathing," but I think for me, that's not quite what it is + it's more complicated than that.

I think for me, Bond has more of, like. a readiness to discard or put aside himself? Which is sth that def many fics have put in that way, the idea that agents are trained to & also by necessity do discard a lot of their selves for missions esp undercover ones (Smokes & Mirror yes the like situational forcefemming fic lmao- has a great line abt this- that's kind of what I have in my mind rn). This can look a lot like self loathing, cuz there's a similar minimizing of(/callous disregard for, ungenerous dismissal of) the self/one's feelings, but I think the impulse behind it is different, it comes from a different place and at it from a different sort of direction, even if the result can be similar.

The problem with this, like. Setting-aside-of-the-self for "practical" reasons is that it then translates to the like emotional/cognitive level beyond just "as a technique you employ" (use it enough and it becomes habit- it's the like dark mirror of the "if you start saying something ironically then it's inevitable that you will one day start saying it reflexively lmao, so be careful of the bits you adopt"), and esp how it translates outside of missions.

Cuz, in a parallel to like abuse situations, the techniques & coping mechanisms one develops which are very good for helping one Survive, are unfortunately rather maladaptive outside of the field. (Off the Books is a great example of this imo, I think about her (Bond from this fic) a lot, and the like. look inside his head we get in this fic. I have at least couple of other posts where I sort of go into this more I think? Tho here's the other one I can think of right now lmao,)

But yeah basically... I think for me, I don't see Bond as self-loathing, not as a sort of like. baseline default anyway. I think he can have moments of it, and he definitely has a very deep well of Disambiguous Issues lmao :')

Like, I see him as definitely hating the job, and maybe even sometimes if he gets introspective(/maudlin) about it, hating what it's made him (esp if we do a he thinks abt his childhood/who he was and wonders what his kid self would think of him now- there was a fic that had a moment where Bond was thinking sth like how he felt like somehow he'd betrayed that boy, and ouu)

By before it's too late, I mean before their favorite restaurant closes.

Q has carefully encrypted the answer, and put it behind this firewall:

Oh, no, my friend, @aceyuurikatsuki . It’s not just that. It is so much more. Settle down and let your friendly neighborhood x-ray tech explain you a thing.

Throckmorton’s Sign, otherwise known as Throckmorton’s Principle, does in fact have to do with dicks. Because it is fairly normal for a dick to show up on a hip or pelvis x-ray. But the thing about Throckmorton’s Sign is, it’s not just that the dick is visible. It is a legitimate diagnostic tool.

Let me explain: let’s say a person equipped with a penis is in a car accident and has right leg and right side hip/pelvic pain. Their doctor will order x-rays. Unfortunately, sometimes fractures are so small that they can be missed, or, because the patient is in such bad shape and the images obtained aren’t the best quality, the radiologist can’t be sure for one reason or another if what they’re seeing is actually a fracture.

So what do they do? They look for the dick.

You heard me correctly. The dick.

Throckmorton’s Sign is when “the penis points to the area of pain.” So if the above-mentioned AMAB patient’s xray aren’t displaying a clear, obvious fracture, but their dick is pointing to the right side, 9 times out of 10, the injury or fracture is on the right hip or leg area, so then the radiologist will focus on that side while reading.

Now I know what my non-radiology followers are thinking. “Ace, this sounds like bullshit. This can’t be true. You’re lying through your teeth.” But I swear to you, it is 100% accurate. I have seen a positive Throckmorton’s Sign multiple times with my own eyes over the course of the past 7 years. Ask any x-ray tech, and they will probably agree with me.

Your dick is good for at least one thing, and that thing is helping a radiologist diagnose your upper femur, hip, or pelvic fracture.

Throckmorton your skateboarding cousin:

-directed towards children/schools because of the control it allows teachers over what children can do

At least the shitty google machines can interface with standard PC stuff. You had to buy Apple products to interface with Apple computers, or your grades would suffer. So unless you had an Apple PC, you couldn't even take your computer homework home. You had to use an Apple product.