a wreck

Hi!

Im a trans aro bi person and this is my side blog. I might talk about medical or queer stuff.

It's been a long journey to finally start me on the right path.

I’m 23

I've been professionally diagnosed with adhd, generalized anxiety, autism, ptsd, bipolar 2, and ehler danlos syndrome. There is more on my "problems" list, but these are the ones I struggle with the most

All my posts are free to reblog unless tagged otherwise

Dni: terfs,swerfs, any form of bigotry, ED accounts(I'm recovering kindly fuck off)

But taking care of yourself with the little energy you have means you basically isolate from everyone but a couple. You don't want to expose them to this, you don't have energy to give them without it being bad

Then you are filled with guilt, then you lose friendships, then you get subtweeted about and how bad you are at communicating and made to feel like you have never done anything dor them, then your family starts to already mourn your existence, you start missing work, crying before everyshift. You think about asking for a leave of absence.

I wanted to get top surgery revisions. I got my initial surgery with a doctor who did not have a BMI limit. This changed the course of my life. I love my topsurgery results, other than the "dog ears". They still don't bother me a bunch anyway.

I decided I would ask my insurance if they would be able to cover revisions. I am no longer struggling from my eating disorder, so I was completely ready to lose weight for this surgery. Cuz whatever, I'm happy with my body no matter. I wouldn't be losing weight for anything else but this.

WELL! If only he just said that I needed to lose weight. I sit there for 10+ minutes waiting for him. He comes in. I tell him everything. My nipples didn't heal like the best and my scar was large bc my EDS, but I am happy with my surgery other than the "dog ears". I only wanted the revisions bc it causes me some distress and through my insurance it would be EXTREMELY affordable.

He leaves me to put on a gown. Takes 5 mins to get a camera. Takes pics of my chest and examines it. I put my shirt back on and wait for him to say something.

This is where it starts. He proceeds to call my nipples and scar just "okay" and makes a face i an see even under his mask. Knowing he will not be operating on them. He then proceeds to tell me, almost guilting me, "This is why we don't operate on high BMI's. Those who have the surgery ALWAYS need revisions. It's not worth it." He continues to go on and on and on about this. He talks to me like I have no idea what he's talking about. Proceeds to call me buddy a bunch of times in such a shitty tone. Then says the surgery shouldn't be covered bc there is no breast tissue left over. He then says he will still take care of me like he is doing me a favor. But does not talk more about it actually being covered. He ends the appointment by saying, " in his professional opinion, you had a pretty okay surgery and results". And that I need to get my weight fluctuations under control.

Lmao huh? You know how much easier it would've been to just say.

" Hey so, through this insurance we cover surgeries who have left over breast tissue as well as people's bmi who is less than 35"

"I'm glad that you are happy with your results other than your "dog ears", I would be happy to work with you further on that concern"

"When you get your weight fluctuations under control it will be easier to see where we are at"

- every poly person I've been with who doesn't make time and who also don't fuck with how I, an autistic person, need to communicate. Mind you how I need to communicate it isn't that bad

Is it genuine premonitions and different spiritual shit

Or

Hypomania