My dear lgbt+ kids, my dear questioning kids,
I want to send a hug to those of you who are 12, 13 or 14 years old.
There are probably some changes going on in your life right now. It can be exciting but also a pretty confusing age.
Don’t worry, this is not leading up to some awkward lecture about puberty - but of course those changes matter, too, and there’s nothing shameful about them.
Maybe you feel a little bit insecure about your body or you may find yourself comparing yourself to other people your age and worry that those little changes happen too quickly or too slowly. You may feel embarassed or uncomfortable when someone comments on your body, even if those comments are well-meant.
At this age, there are a lot of “first times” that can happen (but don’t necessarily will happen or need to happen). You may have a crush for the first time, or you may not. You may start to feel curious about relationships and love and romantic touch and sex, or you may notice that your friends and classmates talk about that now. This, too, can lead to a lot of comparing: Am I too young to think about that? Too old not to think about that? Am I normal?
If you throw “Huh, am I maybe… not straight?” and/or “Maybe I am trans?” on top of all those questions, they can feel like a crushing weight. It’s so easy for adults to look down on you, tell you “But you’re so young″ and roll their eyes - but that’s lazy.
Your emotions are real. Your questions matter. You deserve to be taken seriously. At any age.
Please know that everyone’s development and everyone’s journey are different. Humans don’t all grow up at the same pace, those changes don’t happen in the same order to everyone. Your body is unique. By all means, do talk to an adult you trust if you feel there’s something wrong with the way your body develops. But know that most “differences” are nothing to worry about and will not really matter that much in a few years.
When it comes to those emotional “milestones” like first crush, those really are much less of a necessity than people may make you believe. It’s easy to feel pressured to “keep up” with everyone else but there’s nothing wrong with you if that doesn’t happen yet. It can happen at 12 or 17 or 47 or not at all, and all of that would be healthy and normal and okay.
Are you still young? Of course, and there’s something wonderful about that: You have time. Time to discover and explore and be curious and play and daydream, and figure things out along the way. Remind yourself of that when you feel overwhelmed and anxious: You have time.
You will find answers. At your own pace, in your own way. You’ll learn to feel confident and secure in your answers. In the meantime, your “young” answers matter, no matter how shaky and shy they are, no matter how big the maybe?? in them is, no matter if they might change.
I believe in you.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
