$LAYYYTER
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if i look back, i am lost
Acquired Stardust
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@sch-com
This is a mental illness sideblog, focusing on schizoid personality disorder, with past focus also on anankastic personality disorder. I am also antipsych adjacent.
Tags:
#schcomtalk - original posts
#tw [trigger] - format of trigger warnings
Other info:
i am an adult, pronouns are they/them
messages, reblogs, comments, asks are welcome, unless specified otherwise
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Are you misanthropic?
yes, I am
I was before
I wouldn't say I am, but I agree with views
no, I am not
other/nuance
not schizoid button (see results)
Misanthropy is the general hatred, dislike, or distrust of the human species, human behavior, or human nature.
(this poll is inclusive of those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)
science: OCPD is generally considered to be the most common personality disorder
meanwhile online/community discussion of OCPD:
normal vs disordered: derealisation edition
normal: feeling like the world is foggy or unreal after stepping out of a cinema, or getting off a plane
not normal: feeling like the world is foggy frequently (sometimes without cause)
normal: feeling like nothing is real after you’ve just heard some big news (positive or negative), or while grieving
not normal: feeling like nothing is real frequently (sometimes without cause or in a broad range of situations)
normal: feeling like the people around you aren’t real when in a crowd or on a busy street
not normal: feeling like the people around you aren’t real frequently — even your friends and family
normal: feeling like the whole world is in 2D when you’re sick or experiencing a fever
not normal: feeling like the whole world is in 2D when there’s nothing else going on in your body
normal: losing touch with reality after reading an amazing book or watching a long film or experiencing some other immersive media
not normal: losing touch with reality frequently, to the point that you can’t keep up with your own life
just like other parts of dissociation, derealisation is on a spectrum. everyone experiences it from time to time. when it becomes a problem is when it gets in the way of your life and completing your daily tasks
depressed person: theres something wrong with me
autistic person: theres something wrong with me
person with OCD: theres something wrong with me
person with dissociative disorder: theres something wrong with me
person with personality disorder: theres something wrong with EVERYONE ELSE. IM the only person who has it all figured out. im just living the Objectively Correct way to live
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person
in my experience dpdr has been such an overlooked part of my dysfunction whenever I brought it up with psych-adjacent "professionals". I was repeatedly told that "oh it's just a symptom of depression, when depression gets better dpdr will go away :)" when it never fucking did? I used to track my dpdr with mood and they did not correlate. and it was almost my chief complaint for such a long time.
i understand why someone who doesnt have it could question why szpd is considered schizospec but when you actually live every day with that internal experience sometimes it really is like Oh. Yes. I Am Schizophrenic Adjacent
the problem is the "autism is a pathological disorder" vs "autism is a natural variation of human experience" discourse will continue forever going back and forth and the pendulum will keep swinging until people realize that the whole reason people think these are mutually exclusive is because they cannot possibly comprehend something being pathological AND socially acceptable
even when OCPD is right there
do NOT confuse with OCD
are your schizoid traits "covert"?
yes, nobody would ever know
mostly, but i'm clearly a little different (in a schizoid way)
no, it's somewhat clear
no, it's super obvious, i never talk to anyone
other/nuance/it depends/i dont know
not schizoid button (see results)
(this poll is inclusive to those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Types of dissociation
You feel like the present moment is a memory you're recalling
You feel like the "real you" is a fictional character and you are someone else having some kind of delusion that you're them
Your body is a car that someone you feel safe with is driving while you're in the passenger seat getting sleepy from the streetlights
Your body is a car that someone who puts you on edge is driving very very badly
You experienced an emotion so intensely it overloaded and short-circuited your brain into failsafe shutdown mode
You got so dizzy that you fell over and fell through the floor and now you're in the mirror world
You feel like every next movement you make is going to be the one that clips you into the Backrooms
You feel like every slight decision you make is going to be the one that traps you in the timeloop
You're dissolving into the air around you like a vapor
You're trapped underwater in a cave and no one above can hear your mortal panic
You're lines of code watching the real world through a screen
You feel like you'd relate to a Radiohead song
You feel like the present moment is currently being written by Kurt Vonnegut
The curséd amulet
Trapped in a painting
Animal with its leg stuck in a trap mode
in all ways except physical i am dead
when normies talk about not having any social interaction for a whoooole daaaay like it's some unusual thing to do. babes those are rookie numbers
I have such a bone-deep understanding for why the prevalence of schizoidism is much higher among the homeless population
Do you have anger issues?
yes, but I mask it
yes
sometimes
I rarely feel anger
no
other/nuance
not schizoid button (see results)
(this poll is inclusive of those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Might fuck around and start believing I am worthy of all the things i desire.
except I don't desire anything so I am worth nothing
Do you have good memory?
yes
it's not good, but I can remember most things
no (I also have dissociative amnesia / related conditions)
I do not remember most things except few
no
other/nuance
not schizoid button (see results)
(this poll is inclusive of those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)
