Resources for neurodivergent and mentally ill people

You can tag me or send an ask to submit posts. The inbox is open and anons are on, feel free to send in more stuff you think was humorous or your past experiences that make sense in hindsight. Most posting will run on a queue 5 times a day.

Disclaimer: If you tag me in something and I don’t reblog it, nothing against you! I probably already reblogged it. Also, this is a sideblog, so I can’t like or follow from here.

Inspired by similar “funnier with _pd” blogs, and other avpd gimmick blogs such as @avpd-polls and @avpdculture!

normal: being worried about doing a task you really care about, but starting it straight away so that you have time to do it

not normal: not starting tasks because you're scared you'll screw it up

normal: feeling slightly ashamed of your creative works, but being able to take a step back and come back to it later when the shame hits

not normal: destroying things you've made because you're embarrassed about how imperfect they are

normal: being able to "let go" of a task once you've finished it (no point messing around with the tiny details ad infinitum)

not normal: taking twice as long as everyone else takes to do a task, because you have to get it exactly right

normal: knowing that there's no such thing as perfect, and just trying your best with what you do

not normal: not being able to let go of the idea that perfection exists, you just haven't found it yet

normal: wanting to be able to live a nice life with nice things in it

not normal: being obsessed with the concept of perfection to the point that it leaks into your life (e.g. wanting to have the perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect partner, etc)

They don't really feel like "normal" memories. That's because they tend to come in the form of flashing images, emotions, and bodily sensations rather than recall memory. It doesn't feel like I lived through those events in first-person, even if they feel visceral during flashbacks.

They come in pieces. A lot of the time it's like following a trail of breadcrumbs, and it takes a long time to make sense of all the details (if that ever happens).

Some of the details are almost definitely not accurate - but that DOESN'T mean the events themselves didn't happen. It means that human memory doesn't work like a video camera, and sometimes it scrambles things. Sometimes two or more events get blended together because my brain saw them as "the same" experience.

Digging things up can be more painful than you'd imagine. No matter how "prepared" you think you are, you won't know what it's like until/unless you go through recovering repressed memories. I was stable enough to start processing my repressed trauma, but uncovering that trauma destabilized me again. I expect to go through that routine more than once until I've really processed it all, or as much of it as necessary to heal.

normal: spending time on decisions, but not so long that you become immobilised by the prospect of making a decision

not normal: getting decision fatigue because you have to make sure every decision you make is the right one

normal: holding your friends accountable for doing the wrong thing, but appreciating them all the same

not normal: not being able to talk to someone anymore because they did something slightly wrong

normal: feeling guilty over doing the wrong thing, but having ways to move past it and move on

not normal: laying awake at night, wondering if you're a bad person for doing a certain thing (even years after)

normal: having flexibility with what you consider right or wrong

not normal: giving zero wiggle room on your morals. things are either always good or always bad

normal: letting the small mistakes slide when you're in a relationship, because the other person matters more than a small screw-up

not normal: finding relationships difficult, because other people can never meet your high moral standards

Accept that you are feeling the emotion instead of trying to ignore it or push it away

Remember that it won’t hurt you and doesn’t mean anything bad about you (for instance, feeling frustrated doesn’t mean you’re childish or something)

normal: every so often, you pick up a knife and your brain thinks about hurting someone. you go “the fuck” and then continue chopping your vegetables

not normal: every time (or most times) you pick up a knife, your brain thinks about hurting someone. you actively avoid touching knives, and cannot continue chopping your vegetables

normal: worrying about someone’s health and well-being when you already know that they have a certain condition

not normal: getting intrusive thoughts about a certain person getting sick, and then planning out your day as if they are actually sick

normal: feeling the need to throw something off the edge of a high place any time you’re on a bridge or at the top of a building

not normal: refusing to go anywhere near a bridge or tall building in case you throw something off of it

normal: being careful in the process of turning off your oven, your heater, or other appliances

not normal: having to triple check the appliances, and then getting intrusive thoughts doubting whether you’ve turned them off or not, causing you to go back home to make sure

normal: getting the occasional strange or scary intrusive thought, and being able to shrug it off fairly easily

not normal: getting intrusive thoughts incredibly often (several times a day), and not being able to let go of them. changing your behaviour due to intrusive thoughts

normal: wanting people to like you, and not wanting to be alone

not normal: going out of your way to try to change your personality so that everyone has to like you

normal: getting concerned when someone has taken longer than usual to text you back

not normal: spiralling out of control because someone hasn’t texted you back when you expected them to

normal: asking someone if everything is okay, because you’ve noticed that they’re acting differently than usual

not normal: thinking that someone must hate you or want to leave you because their tone was off

normal: getting upset when someone is condescending or rude towards you

not normal: never wanting to see someone ever again because they were rude to you once

normal: getting nervous about a big or important social gathering

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

normal: feeling emotionally numb after a stressful event

not normal: feeling emotionally numb is your standard way of being

normal: experiencing confusion around your emotions when overwhelmed, but generally being able to identify what you’re feeling

not normal: not being able to break your emotions apart at all, or only being able to identify the difference between feeling “bad” or feeling “good”

normal: occasionally having a gap between your cognitive processing of emotions and the emotions themselves (e.g head vs heart)

not normal: feeling like you only have “head” emotions, or feeling like your emotions are always muddled

normal: feeling emotions in both your mind and in your body, without having to think about it

not normal: only knowing what you’re feeling after consciously analysing what your body is doing (e.g. “oh my stomach feels weird. this must be anxiety?”)

normal: partially using emotions to make decisions, and then being able to identify what emotions led to that decision

not normal: going entirely off “gut instinct” without fully understanding why you’ve made that decision (e.g. “I don’t know what I want to do, I’ll just do what has the vibes”)

If you’re persodivergent or know someone else who’s persodivergent, I’m sure you’ve heard the term supply before, and you likely have a pretty good understanding of it based on the way it circulates in the community. However, I haven’t been able to find a good resource that accurately describes what supply looks like overall. Sure, there’s plenty of resources for specific pd supply sources, especially the more ‘popular’ pds, but what is supply at its core?

Supply is something that makes a persodivergent individual feel good about themselves to a degree that persotypicals have a hard time grasping. It’s something that gives feelings like euphoria, energy, etc. Supply fuels them, makes them feel good and like they’re able to function normally. When someone is low on supply they may get snappy, nervous, low on energy, etc. Supply can sometimes even be powerful enough to break splitting! It’s like a battery for persodivergent people, when your supply battery runs low your disorder will start acting up in negative ways. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with people willing to give you what you need without sacrificing anything by doing so. Otherwise, you’ll both be miserable, and that’d suck. Not all persodivergent individuals have this supply battery, of course, but for those that do it’s important to them to have this battery be filled every once in a while. It’s always best to ask what is most helpful for these individuals when their supply is running low, however, as every persodivergent individual is different.

Personality disorders tend to develop due to emotional neglect in certain areas, meaning that those with persodivergence will be particularly excited when they aren’t being neglected in that same way. As stated in this post by @thatnarcissisticfeel, when an individual is constantly faced with being ignored or getting negative feedback as a child and their natural coping mechanism is that everyone else is wrong and that they’re better than everyone, they may end up with NPD. Therefore, giving a pwNPD positive feedback and making sure not to ignore them and to include them in things can be supply for them, as that’s actively going against the neglect they went through that caused the personality disorder in the first place. Of course, compliments and telling them they’re the best could also feed into this supply battery, as that proves their coping mechanism of being the best correct. However, if it’s suspected to be disingenuous, that can have the opposite effect. 

Certain disorders, such as ASPD, SZPD, PPD, and STPD are less likely to have a supply battery due to the fact the coping mechanism is detaching themselves from the need for what they were neglected with. This does not make it impossible for supply to exist for these disorders, but there tends to be less of a need for outside validation due to the nature of these disorders. It’s best to ask if there’s anything you can do for these individuals, as it's a lot more subjective and uncertain when it comes to them. 

Supply for a handful of other disorders include: ✧ Giving your full attention to someone with HPD when they talk about their interests and engaging to show you’re actually listening. ✧ Applauding someone with OCPD for doing so well on a test or other project, especially if you engage and say what exactly you loved about it.

✧ Assurance and actions to prove to a pwBPD that you won’t leave and that you enjoy being in their presence. Reaching out to a pwBPD first can give supply, too.

✧ Checking in on someone with AVPD when you suspect they’re isolating and letting them know you appreciate them and that nobody hates them for just existing.

✧ Helping someone with DPD to make decisions and talking them through it logically so you aren’t just telling them what to do but also helping them think about it without making them decide completely alone.

Some general supply ideas include:

✧ Asking specific questions about interest(s)

✧ Specific compliments

✧ Reaching out first

✧ Remembering little details

✧ Celebrating meeting goals (anything from just acknowledgement to maybe even a party if a bigger thing like a job promotion)

Supply Resources + the general supply ideas taken from @a-jagged-nightmare. The resources are mostly npd based. Unfortunately not a lot of resources out there for other pds

Supply, NPD specifically (linked above in my npd example)

Self Supply Tips, NPD & HPD focused by @narcissism-positivity

NPD, Asexuality, Hypersexuality, and Supply by @narc-rants

NPD Supply Ideas by @clusterrune

Related:

Supply Person (SUP):A SUP is someone the persodivergent individual can obtain supply from of any kind.

[ID: A white note with the colorful plural rings on the left reading "CDD treatment center "... take a seat!"" ID end]

this blog is dedicated to making CDD treatment and especially DID/OSDD treatment available to those who don't have the privilege to go to therapy. while the treatment center is specialized in plurality/multiplicity it may also be helpful for singletons with other dissociative disorders. use these resources with caution and reevaluate frequently if they are still helpful and healthy. recovery looks different for everyone, here I can only do my best to provide resources so you guys can find your own recovery path.

this blog does not have a do not interact list, engage respectfully and don't fake claim.

post masterlist (link)

the owner: @deathhound06

Tags :

#cdd treatment — sharing treatment resources

see similar post for anakastic PD / OCPD

When I first heard of my personality disorders, it was hard for me to notice their role in my life. Part of it was that I was younger, and with less experiences, but part of it was that by nature PDs are so ingrained it's hard to see the full scope of their influence. Particularly I struggled to see the "dysfunction" part - I was thinking that sure, I do experience that, but is it really that bad? And you can't have a PD without the dysfunction, so do I even count? I think that now, after some time and more reflections, I can say I do see the dysfunction, so I thought to share my observations.

Using the DSM V criteria for schizoid PD:

1/ Neither wants nor likes close relationships, counting being part of a family / Has no close friends other than immediate relatives

When I was first moving out for university, I didn't really have any close enough friends I would feel truly comfortable moving with. It limited my choices, and influenced the one I ultimately made (a mistake).

Also, when I was moved out and experienced my first full-blown mental health crisis, I didn't have anyone around me to rely on.

Studying in uni is much harder when I am not talking with people in my class. Normally students support each other, share notes etc I imagine. I have to do everything alone.

Talking to people = opportunities. And support. Real, material support of being physically near. Going to places together, someone having a job opprotunity, hell even having anyone around in case of an emergency.

I suspect at least part of my emotional problems can be attributed to my self-imposed isolation. Occassionaly when I do talk to someone, it's like... an altered mental state, in a good way. When I laugh, I feel physically good. And it's easier to laugh with other people around. It's the little things I think, that are crucial and I am largely missing out on.

2/ Almost constantly picks introverted activities

Sharing what you do can help you progress faster. Sharing your art and getting critique, joining language classes. Sure I can do all of this on my own as well, but it may be sub-optimal. I think it's a matter of balance - and if I consistently choose to opt out of group activities, it could be seen as dysfunctional.

Also again, doing stuff with other people = meeting other people = getting the social connection, vital for even physical health, and gaining access to opportunities and support.

Other people can also motivate you, or keep you accountable for doing something. When I do (almost) everything on my own, I have to well, rely on my motivation / determination, which is often hard (more on that in 4/).

3/ Has little if any, thought in engaging in any sexual experiences

Frankly I am asexual, so I wouldn't say it's causing me any distress. I suppose that lack of sexual life can be viewed as lack of a major life activity, if you want to interpret it that way.

However, somewhat connected to 4/, it's hard for me to say 100% that sex life is something I truly don't want, or if it's just another thing I am opting out of out of the lack of reward. More on that below.

4/ Seldom derives pleasure from any activities

The emotional implications are written into the criterium itself. Lack of pleasure is I think dysfunctional already.

But, adding on the above - lack of pleasure/satisfaction definitely made me lose a lot of motivation for doing anything. I have disengaged from hobbies because of it. I have disengaged from studies, from social activities, from even simple things watching movies, reading, or cooking a good meal because of this. I have to force myself to do pretty much anything. There is not a single thing that I do simply because I truly enjoy it - I need another reason on top, like an obligation.

What I mean by the above, is that... I think I have opted out of things because they don't bring me much emotional reward, not the other way around (so it's NOT that I don't get a lot of joy because I don't do things). I remember when I was younger and more active in life, doing something like travelling, or acomplishing something, and emotionally not getting anything out of it. So I wished I was just in bed and not doing the thing, because at least it's less effort, for the same emotional reward (= lack thereof). And as I became an adult with more control over my day-to-day, I stopped many major life activities because I can. And it's all the same.

5/ Appears apathetic to the admiration or disapproval of others

For me it's largely related to 4/, because I don't get much internal reward from external stimuli, it also manifests in how this criterium describes it.

I've had people believe in me in the past. Try to encourage me, praise me, tell me they see a potential. But I... couldn't believe them. I don't feel this, it's all the same if I am awarded something or not. External rewards don't cause internal reaction, so like why bother? Why bother going after this hard thing, winning a competition, if after I acomplished it it's all the same void? I put the effort into something, only for this to not matter. So I stopped putting so much effort.

I think it may also discourage others from trying to help me, because historically I haven't shown much reaction, or improvement, or gratefulness for their honest efforts. To give up on me, because I seem like this empty shell of a person. But I don't really know, I think it would have to be someone else to confirm this.

6/ Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

People told me that I appear flat and so it's hard for them to read me. It's hard to know what I think, and some became afraid that I was judging them, when I... I don't? Overall, this one makes it really hard to connect to others and to be understood. So it makes me feel even more like an alien.

I have also hurt people because of this. Because I detach, I isolate, I forget about people. I am the friend you have to message to get a conversation, or schedule a meetup, because I don't initiate. I know it's a hard position to be in, and I don't want to hurt anyone, so I only disengaged more to not even have any friends that would care about me enough to be hurt by my isolation.

normal: feeling disconnected/detached from early childhood memories

not normal: feeling disconnected/detached from many of your memories, including recent ones

normal: having an out-of-body experience during a time of crisis

not normal: having an out-of-body experience regularly, even when you’re not experiencing excessive stress

normal: feeling outside of yourself when experiencing “collective joy” (e.g. at a sports match or a concert)

not normal: feeling outside of yourself when there’s not much going on, or feeling that way regularly

normal: feeling detached from your thoughts or actions when doing repetitive/thoughtless tasks

not normal: feeling detached from your thoughts and actions to the point that it interferes with the completion of daily tasks

normal: feeling slightly unreal when you’re tired or just about to drift off to sleep

not normal: feeling unreal even when you’re otherwise awake and going about your day