mishie

You probably already know a lot of this, like factually and as vibes. Most women do. But sometimes it’s just good to say stuff out loud and make sure we're not memory-holing what should be top of mind.

The short answer for what counts is: a lot more than you’ve been led to believe.

So here’s a by no means exhaustive list of things that tend to fester and creep on you in the dreaded fog of "subtle" harassment at work.

1. The Creepy Client You’re Expected to Smile At It’s not always your boss. It can be a customer, a donor, or a VIP investor who says the gross stuff. And if your job depends on keeping them happy, management often looks the other way.

2. The “Jokes” That Aren’t Jokes They’ll call it “banter.” But if it makes you feel small, singled out, or sexualised, it’s not comedy. It’s cover.

3. The Mentor Who Gets Personal When someone who’s supposed to help you grow starts steering conversations to your dating life, your looks, or their “crush,” that's a classic grooming protocol.

4. The Person Who Touches Everyone - Except They Don’t! Watch for the ones who say “I’m just a hugger” but somehow only hug the cute interns. That’s calculation, not 'friendly' culture.

5. The After-Work Messages That Escalate Starts professional. Gets weird. Maybe it’s “😉” after your presentation. Maybe it’s full-blown flirting on Instagram. Either way, it’s not harmless just because it’s happening after 5 p.m.

6. The Retaliation You Can’t Prove You get left off the next project. Your hours get cut. You’re not sure if it’s connected to the way you handled someone’s advances, but… yeah, it probably is.

7. The Exclusion Because You Didn’t “Play Along” You’re suddenly not invited to team lunches. Or they say you’re “hard to vibe with.” Translation: you didn’t laugh when the jokes got gross.

8. The Comments Disguised As Compliments “You look great in that dress” hits different when it’s from someone evaluating your performance. Especially if it comes with a glance you wish you could unsee.

9. The “Nice Guy” Who Gets Weird When You’re Not Into It He was helpful, until you didn’t flirt back. Now he’s cold, nitpicky, maybe even sabotaging your work. No tantrum, just power games.

10. The Stuff That Happens Off the Clock but Still Counts Work party groping. Drunk conference creeps. Inappropriate texts on your day off. Just because it’s not technically at work doesn’t mean it won’t impact your job.

A lot of times if it’s not explicit, it sadly just doesn’t count to those in power. But guaranteed, you’ll count it, and you'll carry it. And probably learn how to laugh about it without sounding bitter. Until you can't and won't

Just know you’re not imagining it and you’re not wrong for feeling off. And definitely not the first one to think about changing your desk, your shift, or your entire career just to get away from it.

It’s not okay.