gay

(British guy with well managed but serious problems voice) Well I like making a cup of Earl Grey every morning and evening, reaching my hand into the boiling mug to get the teabag, then touching the cold handle of the fridge to get milk. It’s probably the most enjoyable sensation I regularly experience, so it’s best to limit it to only twice a day.

i don’t understand what this post is saying, why would i be leaving the theatre with uneaten turkeys. where did i get them from. what the fuck was i talking about.

You don't understand your own post?

i don’t understand anything

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

The princess I kidnapped and keep locked in my tower recently got on tumblr and has since been complaining that I don't respect her 'hmphs' enough. I'm not sure she understands our relationship.

The new maid who took me to this nice summer home doesn't seem to be listening to me? Even though I'm literally going "hmph!"

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done