dude u look like shit

imagine youre a shark swimming around lifes not great but youre expecting ‘well i only gotta do this for 20 so years’ and then you just dont die 

lgbt ppl force their lifestyle on ppl? Try telling a straight woman at a hair salon you, a woman, want a buzzcut

Ashckdb when I was getting my hair cut off I showed lady the picture and she went to my mom to ask and my mom was like “….she 19” and then lady argued with me about during the ENTIRE cut and everytime she cut it shorter she said “this is nice, right? Keep it like this” I DONT WANT A BOB KAREN JUST CUT IT OFF

I was trying to go from hair halfway down my shoulder blades to a pixie cut and the lady kept asking thinking she was done (even though I’d given her a pic) my mom and I kept having to tell her “no. Even shorter” and she was like “rEaLlY” the whole godddamn time. Like please just do your job

this cracked me up more than i think it should have

How do you even react to something like this?

remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming ITS A WEED

lilo was PEAK weird little girl representation like. all “weird” disney characters just fall under quirky cute no lilo was IT. she gave peanut butter sandwiches to a FISH because IT CONTROLLED THE WEATHER. the range

i regret telling a coworker i was vegetarian because now a year later theyre vegan and they live in portland and every single day they post a video on facebook of them like running up to a truck full of cows and crying and apologizing to them

who’s papa john

I just realized that I commented on the wrong post.

This is important! Tell your Friends.

I can’t believe some insurances quit covering them 😐

Pass this information on, potentially save a life.

the pain of departure pulls him from his dreams, his nightmares, his vast and unspeakable visions of beyond. god bless the back of the beast, for it is all that keeps us from his terrible awareness.

the amount of floridian energy emanating from here is ridiculous 

OFH DA BOHT

he really tryna square up with an alligator

and he damn well did it, too

if the horror movie doesn’t have synth in the soundtrack is it really sexy?

I think you mean scary?

i absolutely don’t

Human babies are born at the last possible moment before their craniums can’t pass through the birth canal. We’re basically all born premature because of our big brains.

big brained babies too stupid to do sick flips from tree branches

You wake up tomorrow to find yourself in the world of the last video game you played. How screwed/lucky are you?

4) black Americans invented rock and roll.

5) Black AND Jewish Americans created musical theatre. 

i want 2 say something but it might be too controversial..

you know i really wanted to like this post, but there’s just one little thing that’s being overlooked

don’t make me do this ginger-ale-official

please… it is your duty

oh yeah? oh fucking yeah? I’m going to sell my soul to the devil in exchange for the assurance that he will place a thumb tack on the ground wherever you walk so you can never take off your shoes again.  have fun sleeping in your loafers jackass