hello friend

Imagine how much we could get done with a Sanders-led Senate Budget Committee under a Democratic president who has already been forced to adopt most of his domestic policy in exchange for his endorsement.

If you really want to see the change we got behind Bernie for, get Clinton into the White House, and get Democrats into the House and Senate.

(Because oh my god, it’s so hard, and everyone’s all like stop feeling so bad about yourself and it’s like how???) 

Be naked. A lot. Sleep naked. Have sex naked. Eat cereal naked. (Or naked and wrapped in a sheet. Favorite thing.) 

Follow beautiful, confident, (un-photoshopped) body-positive babes on the Internet. Unfollow anything that makes you feel insecure. Exposure is key. You’re not going to get it if you don’t seek it out, because the media sucks and wants us to feel like shit about ourselves so they can take our money. (Some hashtags to follow: #effyourbeautystandards #bootyrevolution #blackisbeautiful #transisbeautiful #wheelchairlife #fatkini #fatshion)

Lingerie. Next best thing to being naked. 

Self care, babe. Different for everyone. (Me? Showers, books, shaving my legs, nature walks, dark lipstick, good playlists, clean rooms, candles, sexy time.) 

Get ready in your underwear. Boobs = happiness. 

Self portraits. Be pro-selfie. Take a million selfies. Take sexy selfies. Take no makeup selfies. Take bad angle silly selfies. Take artsy tripod selfies. Take everything-is-on-point selfies. You’re gorgeous; document your gorgeousness. You don’t even need to post them. 

Stop with the self deprecationnnnn. Pleeeeaseeee. It’s hard to control your thoughts love, I know, but you can control what you say. NEVER insult yourself out loud. Dare I say compliment yourself out loud? (And if you can, do your best to try to body-positive-ify your thoughts too.) 

Sex (including solo sexy time), wine, and chocolate. In that order. 

Share the body love. Compliment your girlfriends. Cultivate a nonjudgemental, supportive, lift-each-other-up “we’re so cute” friend group. Everyone’s insecure. Compliment your besties. And strangers, too. Be that person that makes everyone feel good about themselves when they’re around. 

Come my child…

LIE. LIE. LIE. (By lie, I mean embellish) I’m going to tell you why. I lied on my resume to get the job that made it so I didn’t have to embellish anymore. By embellish I mean make your positions seem more important than they are. Chances are you’re not getting paid enough for what you do anyhow. The system is definitely going to play you so you gotta make a move too. 

Use businesses that are no longer in business (Finesse #1) Everyone has those establishments in their cities that went out of business; Fridays, hospitals, dennys, etc. USE THEM. I’m a HR Manager, I’m not going to dig for a reference from a closed business. Not in this lifetime.

Use your friends who are employed in corporate America as references. (Finesse #2) List them as former supervisors or managers. Pick your friends with professional phone voices who can gas you up in a corporate manner.

Research the pay rate for the company, city and position. (Finesse #3) They may be offering you 25K to be a store manager when in reality store managers in your exact city (or their employment averages) are making 35K. Do not be afraid to challenge a salary. It shows that you also did your homework on the position and the company. 

Cashier? Customer Service Manager

Human Resources Assistant? HR Generalist II 

Food Service Worker? Hospitality and Beverage Manager/Operator

Janitor? Sanitation Inspector

Dishwasher? Health and Sanitation operator

Shopback? Retail Inventory Manager