I will go down with my ships!

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

Ilya, some indeterminate time in the future, chasing after their toddler whose instinct is to do a runner the moment everyone starts standing too long, thus perfecting the Hollander Goodbye early: wow…genetic

ilya who is consistently the first one to find their child after they make a run for it because he has had to develop the survival skill of "if i were a hollander, where would i elope to?" over the years in order to find where the FUCK his family is after they just vanished

The feared sting-ray

Same energy as that time in college I told a girl that “the tarot” says she needs to go call her mom and start going to therapy and she fucking did.

absolutely a granny weatherwax moment. “you need to move the outhouse because its presence is bothering the forest spirits and they’re cursing you” because trying to explain about bacteria from the outhouse contaminating the well wasn’t working.

Sometimes you gotta ask yourself ‘Do I want to be right or do I want results?’ and then act accordingly.

The real issue between Tim Allen's Jason and Alan Rickman's Alexander in Galaxy Quest was that Jason was blissfully unaware of any of the fanfic people had written about their two characters while Alexander had been asked in detail about some of the finer points of Mak'tar "biology" at every con since the 80s