Dumb Bitch hours are 24 fucking 7 babey! @trashcanniballecter - Tumblr Blog

My favorite version of BloodyMary is

Simon: *covered in blood and on the Hail Mary for some reason*

Grace: Holy Shit, is that Markiplier?!

#bloodymary #project hail mary #iron lung #ryland grace #simon iron lung #markiplier #it's funny every time

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After retiring Ilya gets piercings. Lots of piercings. He goes a bit crazy with it, to be honest. He's got multiple lobe piercings, industrials, helix, forward helix, conch, etc. and that's just his ears. He got an eyebrow piercing, septum, tongue, both nipples and a Prince Albert.

Shane gets his ear lobes pierced. That's all. Ilya thinks it's the sexiest thing ever

#heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #hr headcanon #I know Ilya wants so many piercings but that is a bad idea in a contact sport

Grace: *explaining homosexuality*

Rocky: Erid only have one sex. Erid Gay, question.

Grace: uhhhh. I don't- maybe?

#phm #project hail mary #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #happy pride 🌈

I love stick figure Rocky. I love that he's just a ball or a wonky little shape with stick legs. He's perfect

#phm #project hail mary #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #this is what peak performance looks like

Worked with the nightmare coworker today. I have never seen a cashier so deadset on avoiding the register.

#seriously #ugh #if you hate the register that much ask to change departments #who am I kidding #she'd probably avoid that work too

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It's hot and my fan is broken 😭

#send help #I am melting #I'm on SSRIs I can't do hot like this

Shane: I've won 3 Stanley Cups

Person who knows nothing about Hockey: that's neat! I have one too! You only really need one tho. They are reusable

#heated rivalry #shane hollander #Stanley Cup #I need Shane to interact with people who know absolutely nothing about Hockey #he only knows hockey people #talking to an outsider would probably help him #or just be really funny #either way it's a win

Shane: OW! FUCK!

Ilya: what's wrong?

Shane: I bit my tongue

Ilya: want me to kiss it better?

Shane: yes

#heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov

When he was younger Ilya's hair was a mess. Being the only person with curly hair in a family makes it hard to learn what to do with your hair. It was always either a frizzed out mess or slicked back as well as he could until Svetlana took mercy on him and showed him some curly hair products

#heated rivalry #ilya rozanov #svetlana vetrova #hr headcanon #spoken from experience #I got my curls from my dad and he liked his hair poofy #took forever to learn how to make my curls look good

Shane and Ilya had another daughter on my island. They really are Girl Dads

#tomadachi life #heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #this one looked more like ilya but with Shane's hair color #irena looked more like Shane

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I was tired and hungry on my break but a coworker was making us all BLTs. Gay Rights

#pride #pride month #thank you sandwich angel

A customer was rude to me? During Pride Month?! Illegal

#pride #pride month #how dare #no but seriously #for working costumer service I don't get many rude customers #this guy must have been from out of town #I literally just told him I was out of paper bags at my register and he could check to see if the other registers had one if he wanted one

Grace: *stubs toe* ow fuck

Eridian students: New word?! What does it mean, question?! Tell us Grace Teacher! TELL US! TELL US! TELL US!!

#phm #project hail mary #ryland grace #eridians phm #Grace would slip up one (1) time and it would be his worst nightmare #how do you explain to a bunch of alien school children that you just said a bad word #don't repeat that please for the love of God don't repeat that #oh no I've corrupted the youth #I've corrupted the alien youth!

She project on my hail til I Mary

#phm #project hail mary #is this anything

What nice smell should I put on? Peaches or Caramel?

#I can't decide #I got some new body oils #they both smell really good #help

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The Hail Mary had all of human knowledge and media on it. Including video games. What filmed a bunch of video logs of them playing games and when the beetles get to earth those vids are turned into a Let's Play YouTube channel

#phm #project hail mary #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #accidental YouTubers #I would read a fic like this #please tell me if there is one

A sheet of chainmail would probably make a good weighted blanket that doesn't make you hot

#I would love that #especially for summer #I need the weight on top of me but I get so over heated

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Dumb Bitch hours are 24 fucking 7 babey!