Dumb Bitch hours are 24 fucking 7 babey! @trashcanniballecter - Tumblr Blog

It's hot and my fan is broken 😭

#send help #I am melting #I'm on SSRIs I can't do hot like this

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Shane: I've won 3 Stanley Cups

Person who knows nothing about Hockey: that's neat! I have one too! You only really need one tho. They are reusable

#heated rivalry #shane hollander #Stanley Cup #I need Shane to interact with people who know absolutely nothing about Hockey #he only knows hockey people #talking to an outsider would probably help him #or just be really funny #either way it's a win

Shane: OW! FUCK!

Ilya: what's wrong?

Shane: I bit my tongue

Ilya: want me to kiss it better?

Shane: yes

#heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov

When he was younger Ilya's hair was a mess. Being the only person with curly hair in a family makes it hard to learn what to do with your hair. It was always either a frizzed out mess or slicked back as well as he could until Svetlana took mercy on him and showed him some curly hair products

#heated rivalry #ilya rozanov #svetlana vetrova #hr headcanon #spoken from experience #I got my curls from my dad and he liked his hair poofy #took forever to learn how to make my curls look good

Shane and Ilya had another daughter on my island. They really are Girl Dads

#tomadachi life #heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #this one looked more like ilya but with Shane's hair color #irena looked more like Shane

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I was tired and hungry on my break but a coworker was making us all BLTs. Gay Rights

#pride #pride month #thank you sandwich angel

A customer was rude to me? During Pride Month?! Illegal

#pride #pride month #how dare #no but seriously #for working costumer service I don't get many rude customers #this guy must have been from out of town #I literally just told him I was out of paper bags at my register and he could check to see if the other registers had one if he wanted one

Grace: *stubs toe* ow fuck

Eridian students: New word?! What does it mean, question?! Tell us Grace Teacher! TELL US! TELL US! TELL US!!

#phm #project hail mary #ryland grace #eridians phm #Grace would slip up one (1) time and it would be his worst nightmare #how do you explain to a bunch of alien school children that you just said a bad word #don't repeat that please for the love of God don't repeat that #oh no I've corrupted the youth #I've corrupted the alien youth!

She project on my hail til I Mary

#phm #project hail mary #is this anything

What nice smell should I put on? Peaches or Caramel?

#I can't decide #I got some new body oils #they both smell really good #help

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The Hail Mary had all of human knowledge and media on it. Including video games. What filmed a bunch of video logs of them playing games and when the beetles get to earth those vids are turned into a Let's Play YouTube channel

#phm #project hail mary #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #accidental YouTubers #I would read a fic like this #please tell me if there is one

A sheet of chainmail would probably make a good weighted blanket that doesn't make you hot

#I would love that #especially for summer #I need the weight on top of me but I get so over heated

Noooooo Jinshi and Maomao got divorced on my island 😭

#tomadachi life #jinmao #jinshi #maomao #why?!#I literally made them for each other #now I'm going to micromanage Hollanovs marriage so they don't fall out of love

Grace: Rocky is weird but that's probably because he's an alien.

Grace: *meets other Eridians*

Grace: oh.

Grace: Hey Rocky! So on Earth we have this thing called Autism-

#project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #that rock has autism I just know it #grace talks to some other Eridians about it and they're like 'oh you mean 🎵🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵! yeah we know Rocky has that.“

Drew Erids Baddest Bitch

#project hail mary #adrian the eridian #rocky mate bad as hell statement #there is no rocky for scale but know Adrian is HUGE

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It would be cute if Grace called Rocky "Rockstar"

#project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #grace rocky save stars

I think Grace would accidentally radicalize Rocky. Like Rocky would explain how Eridians "see". And Grace would go "Oh Like Daredevil!" Which would lead to Grace explaining vigilantes. "Saving people ILLEGAL? Question?!" And THEN! "Fuck the Police, Statement"

#project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky phm #rocky the eridian #learning about humans is stressing him out

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Dumb Bitch hours are 24 fucking 7 babey!