✨Disassociating, please leave a message✨

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

The full saga of Margie and the Nuns (so far). Realised I never compiled these in one place.! Also, bonus Margies!

Human: … Spin?

However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw!  they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:

It should be noted that the human here isn’t in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of it’s multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of it’s sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like “being kicked by a horse” and some have suffered internal organ damage.  Sperm whales, like other large whales, aren’t particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.