i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole
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@sadalienvoid
i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

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Wow I appear to have made roughly 10-15 people realize abilify is an antipsychotic they were wrongfully prescribed. Everyone has the same experience ever. I think we should start putting psychiatrists in their own wards
it is truly diabolical how broadly they prescribed and even ADVERTISED that medication when it came out. really buried the lede that it was an atypical antipsychotic. made it sound like it Could Help Anyone, practically. i remember being really creeped the fuck out by the TV commercials when they started airing them
I just imagined a ward for psychiatrists run by crazy people and I am having SUCH a good time rn. I've worked at a preschool I could do this. I can envision the Rethinking Our Beliefs About Others worksheets I would make them fill out so clearly in my mind's eye... the informative coloring books. maybe there are special hats for them to wear. this is my mind palace now
I was *literally* just prescribed abilify "to help my depression meds" and i took it for a week and it was one of the worst weeks of my life other than when the inpatient put me on seroquel.
i just kinda feel like some of yall (including other trans people) see "trans men are men" and "trans women are women" as feelgood statements that we just say to be niceys and not like facts lol
This is just cute
I love when people have fun 💖
This is one of those stories you talk about twenty years later
I’m starting to realize we may not all be ready for Racism 102, aka “often times, you don’t think ‘I’m going to be racist,’ you just act on it.”
It does not matter what other reasons you have for being racist. It was still racist. White people lashing out on people of color when In Their Feelings About Something is still racism. White people objectifying people of color for WHATEVER reason is still racism.
Reading a book where a character does a racist thing, but it's narrated in first-person and they're not saying "I racistly attack the person of color with racist intent" so clearly nothing racist could be happening
It is also somewhat frustrating to see discussions of this framed in terms of mental health---almost exclusively white people's mental health, cited as a rationale for the racism---as though no person of color ever struggles with, for example, anxiety, depression, psychosis, or the simple stress of navigating society as a racialized person.

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I don't often say "Some of you need to spend some time offline" but I do think people who like, have tricked themselves into thinking certain Tumblr users know each other/know of each other do need to log off for a bit. I get a lot of asks like "You and [person I have never heard of in my life] should talk about this!" I don't know who that is and I'm not gonna do that. "You and [person I've never heard of] are both so annoying!" I am treating you the way I treat people who randomly accost me at CVS: With a polite, strained smile followed by me going back to looking at my phone
I'm trying to think of a good equivalent to drive home how bonkers this is to me and I feel like the only thing I can think of is if you read so often and with such absorbed escape from reality that you've convinced yourself that some of the authors might hang out irl based on no evidence except that you've read books from both? That's a shit comparison let me think. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think many of you may be being dumb right now as a choice and you can correct that at any time
scariest thing is when you're a kid in a huge family run by women and then you go over to a house that's deeply patriarchal & misogynistic. i remember when i was 8 years old and i got invited over to my friend's house for a big birthday party with her entire extended family. after the enormous lunch that served over 30 people, i got called into the kitchen to do literally hundreds of dishes, alongside all the other little girls and women. not only were the boys our age all excused from the meal to go play, but all the grown men went to the living room to watch sports together and drink. i couldn't believe it. i asked why some of the grownups were watching TV but the girls had to clean up and all the women just laughed and laughed at me.
as a teenager when i learned the word "sexist" and used it the older women balked at it and tried to convince me this arrangement was a good thing actually because women need space from men, and cleaning in the kitchen after parties is a sacred domain of safety. and i was like actually i think needing private safety from your own husbands, sons, and brothers sounds even worse. like do you understand you somehow made this even more troubling than it already was
like i think it's fine if a bunch of sister-in-laws/wives want time together without their husbands & brothers to talk together in camaraderie. i'm not judging that. obviously. but dare i ask why the women's meetup could only take place while doing manual labor for a nearby room full of men
Hey Gamestop I think you might have forgotten something. Just possibly.
FINALLY
I wish I was joking but this is how long it took for them to fix this.
The binturong of scraggliness
just wanted to draw the grey warden mage uniform..

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Because Catholicism and by extension Christianity are so big and normal I don't think a lot of people consider how strange the Vatican is just conceptually. Like yeah in the capital of a long-dead empire there's an opulent temple district that acts as it's own sovereign nation, still speaking the dead language of that empire for their rituals, ruled by a prophet-king chosen by a secret conclave of the high priesthood. Yeah his followers eat a lot of fish in the spring.
Kinda wild how the concept of emotional labour changed from
"people have to hide their emotions to perform specific types of labour where their apparent emotions influence another person's. Eg. Flight attendants have to be cheerful all the time, so that passengers feel welcome and safe. This suppression and masking of emotion can cause a sense of disconnect within the individual where they dont know what their true feelings are. This is part of the Marxist idea of alienation from labour and from the self."
To
"If you ask me to care about you or listen to your problems, youre being toxic."
It's worth taking a look at how we got here.
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the term in 1983, specifically describing it as emotional performance required by a worker for a job. This alienates the worker from their own feelings. The expected emotion can be care, joy, etc. but it can also be harshness or simply the expectation to not show your real emotions in the workplace.
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild also coined the term 'the second shift' in 1989. describing how in families where a man and a woman both have a job, the woman is often still expected to do all the child raising and house cleaning, meaning she is carrying a double workload.
Already in 1983 (before coining the term 'second shift' but already developing the concept), Hochschild herself connected the two ideas, writing: "In a typical nuclear family unit, it is thought that women become responsible for much of the emotional labor by default, meaning they are responsible for shaping and managing the family’s feelings." So we have the person who coined the term, immediately after coining the term, also using emotional labor to describe unpaid household work! This is part of the term since its inception!
Around 2015 the term gained a lot of popularity and began to be more broadly applied. Some things that are, according to Hochschild, NOT emotional labor include:
Doing physical chores around the house
Doing mental chores like remembering birthdays
Hochschild: "if we talk about all the unpaid labor women do in the home as “emotional labor,” we’re insinuating that any kind of labor that falls most often to a woman is “emotional.” Like chores are just labor. Writing Christmas cards is just labor."
Also not emotional labour:
Expressing genuine emotions that you feel
Doing things that make other people feel better
Hochschild emphasizes that doing things to positively impact other people's emotions isn't 'emotional labor'. Managing and suppressing your own emotions is. That's where the alienation that is central to emotional labor comes in: it's alienation from your own feelings.
It's also essential that there must be an expectation on the person to do this. Hiding your real feelings by choice isn't emotional labor. As with emotional labor in the workplace, non-caring emotions and suppression of emotions typically expected of men are included. So when a wife expects her husband to suppress his pain and not cry in front of the children, that is an example of emotional labor. So to summarize, emotional labor according to Hochschild doesn't have to always be paid labor, but it does always involve:
The management of your own emotions
Alienation from your real emotions, as a result of being forced to perform other emotions.
Pressure/expectation, there are negative consequences if you don't do the performance.
There is a system, (the workplace, genderroles, etc) shaping these expectations, putting specific expectations on categories of people.
Finally, Hochschild never said that emotional labor shouldn't exist or that it doesn't have a function. In the workplace and out of it, emotional labor can achieve important things. The nurse that uplifts the patient and the parent that comfort their child might both be hiding their real feelings and that itself is not bad. The problem is the pressure to do this labor when you dont want to, the lack of acknowledgement of this labour and óf its potential for alienation, and the division of this labour according to gendered expectations.
feels like a real step back that with all the sexual freedom available to us we moved to Hookup Culture instead of Having Sex With Friends Culture
I find it weird, actually, that today it's more common to have sex with casual acquaintances you meet on the Hookup App than to have sex with people you already know and like and have fun with. and how if two friends have sex, there's an assumption there must be underlying romantic feelings. because apparently casual non-romantic sex is fine, but only with people you don't already like and care about?
I feel like the hippies and people who lived through the Free Love movement would be rightfully disappointed at us for these made-up lines we're drawing between Sex/Romance and (gasp!) Friendship. shockingly, it's fine to have casual sex with people you enjoy hanging out with and do not want to date. fun and healthy even!
Ahhh... i dunno why but this feels like a result of purity culture.
Where 2 concepts clash:
You can have sex outside of marriage
But also sex is bad and you shouldn't do it.
It's not actually okay to have sex and it's shameful to do it and it'll taint your relationships if they know about it.
But also sex isn't bad and be free to do it whenever you want!
That turns into:
You can have sex but it's bad for your relationships.
So it's okay to have sex only if you're either planning to Marry them or Never seeing them again.
HUH.... Society really fucked us on this one (and not in the fun kinky way ☹️)
The existence of a safeword also implies the existence of a dangerword that you can use to instantly turn any sexual event into a combat encounter
#it exists and it's 'feel how cold my hands are'

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LGBT, of course, stands for:
Leon S Kennedy, please
Grab me
By
The waist!
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sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.
Some clarifications and an update
This person has more emotional intelligence and healthier skills in navigating relationships than most people