Sacred @sacredst4r - Tumblr Blog

can't stop laughing at the idea of someone going on tumblr and searching "deformed erotic visage" hoping to find porn

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syn4k

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

joyflameball

#thank you black people

i-fuck-audis

MY FUCKING CAR

notahorseindisguise

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

notahorseindisguise

ollielephant

cumonthevoid

none pizza with left beef

the-chocolate-chip-pancake-blog

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

babymarkers

ive missed you

montparnah-deactivated

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

ineffable-raccoon

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

tonyswirl

3th time i’ve reblogged this

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derinthescarletpescatarian

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

stavarosthearcane

Good Job.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#this post gets me every time

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

heroofthreefaces

do you think no one else has time travel

derinthescarletpescatarian

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#surprise reblog!!

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

roach-works

wow if only you had a time machine

transdaughterofthesun

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

iforgotmyfandom

:)

idiototheinternet

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

lizyarikus

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

anexperimentallife

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

what-if-i-just-did

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

derinthescarletpescatarian

Imagine how I feel

mrsjdavis

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

derinthescarletpescatarian

It doesn’t have to

smegorl

Yes it does.

type-blaze0

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

angels-haven-official

We all know who needs to be @’d

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

earthnation

I want to fuck your throat

my thrussy!?!?

ventrue

schakira

sorry for being dramatic but this post did irreparable damage to the english language

timebendinglunatic

Horrible job, everyone! Thank you!

earthnation

my bad damn

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

orcposts

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

goblinposts

> use genitals

orcposts

You can't use that right now!

goblinposts

> use hand on genitals

orcposts

You can't use that right now!

goblinposts

> use genitals on hand

orcposts

You can't use that right now!

goblinposts

> help

orcposts

I don't know that word.

You are clobbered by the OGRE!

You have lost your genitals. . .

goblinposts

man fuck this game

#hate it when that happens

pixelartpeach

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

bonesbeetle

can see the pores on that thang

crow-with-a-pencil

Reblog to give a trans person a shockingly high resolution mango

cpericardium

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

cpericardium

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epilepticsaints

if-you-see-gay-me

magnetictapedatastorage

heatandapathy

Needs the last part

captainscarletsc

scoundrellyfeline

@heatandapathy you forgot the best part

tsamired

you are never living this down

fleshdyke

godawful post i made when i was 14. let me escape it please god

Never!

NOT EVEN IN DEATH

this redditor has the fucking battle royale of invasive plants (in the US) happening in their yard jesus christ. sentences of hate and destruction

heehorde

freshbeeth

tomodachi life coming through with the representation 👏🏾👏🏾

sometiktoksarevalid

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

celebrinienjoyer

i need to show you all something that made me crylaugh last night. just fucking look at them.

coolxatu

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

coolxatu

promethiae

I can't ever leave tumblr, where the hell else am I going to get Plato's allegory of the cave as a constantly running joke?

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