RichCrazyDad

body language masterlist

a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

550 words to say instead of fuckin said

638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

✮ "Stop trying to act tough. You're shaking."

✮ "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

✮ "Hold still--I know it stings, but I have to do this."

✮ "You scared me half to death, you know that?"

✮ "I've got you. You don't have to hold yourself up anymore."

✮ "Just breathe. In and out. I'm right here."

✮ "You're going to need stitches and I swear, if you say you're fine one more time--"

✮ "Don't argue with me right now. Just let me help you."

✮ "I'm not going anywhere, so stop telling me to leave."

✮ "Can you squeeze my hand? I need to know you can hear me."

✮ "You're running a fever on top of everything else. Of course you are."

Choke. Just think about it, seriously. Think about what choking is and imagine speaking while it’s happening. That would fuckin’ hurt, man.

Hiss. Look, it’s just not possible, okay? No matter how “evil” you want your character to seem.

Snarl. Animals snarls. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast snarls. The Hulk snarls. You know who doesn’t snarl? PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE SPEAKING.

Shriek. Come on, 99% of the time, “shriek” is not the word you want.Let’s face it: if you put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence, your reader gets the picture. Don’t bring to mind banshees and screaming toddlers.

Hiss is a low, threatening whisper. Raw, guttural, vicious. It is NOT a literal hiss like an animal, it is a tone of voice that serves the same function. Someone will hiss that they’re going to cut your throat- a message from one person to the other.

Snarl is the same kind of thing. Not literal, it’s a tone of voice that serves the same function. It’s raw and gutteral like a hiss, but more savage than vicious. It’s loud, it’s showy, it’s intimidating. It’s very alpha male, big man, look at how fucking dangerous I am. I’ll take ALL of you on. Even if they’re snarling at one person in particular, nobody better back them up or they’re gonna get fucked up too.

Shriek. Come on, seriously? We’ve all heard people shriek either in fear or outrage. High pitched, loud, out of control, feminine. Men can shriek, but it’s funny and emasculating. Think angry italian women throwing pots and pans or ladies on tables who just saw a mouse.

Like this young person didn't even know about goddamn Gutenberg which is a SHAME. I linked to it and they went "aw yiss time to do a theft" and I was like "I mean yo ho ho and all that, sure, but. you know gutenberg is entirely legal, right?"

Project Gutenberg is a gigantic collection of books that are in the public domain.  You can read the books through the site or you can download them in various formats so you can get the format you prefer for your eReader of choice.

It is free. 

It is legal.

I was reviewing the list of the top 100 books downloaded yesterday and I saw a fair few that I had to read for college classes - so if you’re a college student and your professor assigns you to read Plato or any number of older works, check here before you buy a copy.

If you look at the first reblog from me I also recommended a few other resources, most of which were from www.archive.org, home of the Wayback Machine! They run openlibrary.org, where you can check out ebooks of some public domain titles! They even have the Bone series by Jeff Smith!

And archive.org itself has all kinds of public domain media including music and movies! For Dracula fans, here's a radio show adaptation of the book, starring Orson Welles! And here's a 1920 movie adaptation of "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," starring John Barrymore, the grandfather of Drew Barrymore!

lots of writers and publishers are prepared to waive future profits for entirely petty reasons

because of this the entire works of Philip K Dick [petty writer who found himself with lots of hangers on during his life] and HP Lovecraft [his publisher - who was his wife and hated him] became public domain on their death

Sherlock Holmes entered public domain this year, it's always worth checking because you can save a fortune

book is old because it’s in

the public domain

LibriVox has free public domain audiobooks.

Public domain works in the US are:

Anything published (in the US) from 1927 or earlier (this number goes up every year for quite a while), and

Anything published between 1928 and 1963 that wasn't renewed, and

Anything published before 1989 without a proper copyright notice.

(Don't go looking for things in that third category unless you've studied a LOT about copyright law. Mostly that covers things like "weird little newsletters" and "self-published booklets" and sometimes fanzines. But most publications have a copyright notice in them.)

There's also some oddball exemptions here and there; copyright law is a tentacled mess. But those are the basic guidelines. (Except for audio. Audio has its own set of rules. It's weird.) (I mentioned tentacles, did I not? Double the amount of them you were thinking of.)

There are a lot of works from the 50s and early 60s that were not renewed, especially short stories published in magazines.

˙⋆✮ Voice going up an octave when excited or lying

˙⋆✮ The nervous laugh inserted randomly in sentences

˙⋆✮ Starting sentences with "I mean..." when backtracking

˙⋆✮ The long "uhhhhh" while thinking

˙⋆✮ Voice getting quieter as confidence fades mid-sentence

˙⋆✮ Speaking faster when passionate about something

˙⋆✮ The vocal fry when tired or trying to sound unimpressed

˙⋆✮ Trailing off because they forgot where they were going with that

˙⋆✮ The sharp intake of breath before saying something difficult

˙⋆✮ Clearing throat unnecessarily when stalling

˙⋆✮ The scoff-laugh combination

˙⋆✮ Emphasizing random words when flustered

˙⋆✮ The way someone's accent gets stronger when angry or talking to family

˙⋆✮ Repeating the last few words of someone's sentence before responding

˙⋆✮ The "okay, so" that means a story is coming

˙⋆✮ Voice cracking at emotional moments

˙⋆✮ The whisper-yell when trying to argue quietly

˙⋆✮ Talking with hands so much they have to stop moving to think

˙⋆✮ The upward inflection making statements sound like questions

˙⋆✮ Muttering under breath but totally wanting to be heard

˙⋆✮ The elongated "sooooo" when prompting someone

˙⋆✮ Starting multiple sentences before completing one

˙⋆✮ The sarcastic tone that's barely distinguishable from sincerity

˙⋆✮ Pronouncing words overly carefully when tipsy (trying to hide it)

⟢ PICK THREE DETAILS MAXIMUM! your reader doesn't need to know every piece of furniture. Give them the broken clock on the mantle, the smell of cigarettes embedded in the couch, the water stain on the ceiling shaped like Italy. Their brain will fill in the rest. You're not writing an insurance inventory!!!

⟢ Use the senses people forget. Everyone does sight and sound, but what about: the metallic taste of fear, the way humidity makes your clothes stick, the phantom itch of being watched, that gross feeling when you touch something unexpectedly wet. GET WEIRD WITH IT

⟢ MOTION IN YOUR DESCRIPTIONS!! (Please?) don't just tell me the curtains are blue, tell me they're "shuddering in the AC blast" or "hanging limp like they've given up." Static description is a sleep aid. Make things MOVE

⟢ Your narrator's voice should COLOR everything! A depressed character won't describe the sunset as "beautiful mauve and amber streaking across the sky," they'll think "the sun's dying again, doing its whole performance art thing with the clouds"

⟢ Stop with the mirror descriptions! :( "She looked in the mirror and saw her auburn hair and green eyes" NO. Banned. Forbidden. Find literally any other way. Have another character notice. Show through action. Slip details in naturally. The mirror thing is lazy and we all know it

because we all know the line is a classic for good reason but perhaps a bit too cliche

Oh. Oh no, I know what this is.

Well. That’s inconvenient.

Wait, why is…. Oooooh….

Okay, I know what this looks like. But… Oh man, who am I kidding?

Wait… Oh.

“Oh.” A blink. Then, slower, “Oh…”

“Wait…” Fuck.

What? Why would I feel that way when… Oh.

This is going to hurt, isn’t it?

“What the—“ Oh.

Everything aligns just right then. I’ve been a damn idiot.

“Oh my God!” … Oh my god…

Oh. Oh no…

My hands are shaking and suddenly I understand why my throat feels tight and my heart is pounding. I’m an oblivious fool.

Nope, nope. Not happening. … “Fuck.”

long hugs, melting into each other

comparing hand sizes

burying face in their stomach when laying down

several kisses in quick succession

hugs from behind

huddling up on a cold day

rolling in bed until they are slotted together

tickling

nose / cheek / forehead kisses

stealing their hat and putting it on

forehead to forehead

smothering them with their own body

carrying them around their apartment

head resting on their shoulder

climbing in their lap

checking them out when they change even after years together

holding hands in a stressful moment

slapping their ass in passing

tucking their hair back

casual brushes while passing them

massages

kissing the palm on their hand and then nuzzling into it

playing with the other's fingers

lifting them and setting them on the counter to have better kiss reachability

burying face in the crook of their neck

playing with their hair

spooning

removing their make up and hair products for them after a hard day

jumping in their arms upon reunion

Habits change: suddenly no energy or motivation to do so.

Rereading old texts from someone that used to be special.

They let their hot drinks go cold beside them.

They apologize for things that aren’t their fault.

They linger after everyone else has already left.

They keep checking the door wishing that anyone will walk through.

They sit in parked cars for a long time before going inside.

Avoiding eye contact; gaze never lingers for long. Staring at the floor, instead of at people.

Rubbing the back of their necks or holding one arm with the other. Closed body language & posture shrinks.

They take deep breaths like they’re steadying themselves.

Hesitation before letting go of a hug.

Movements feel slower than usual.

Trembling fingers and limbs and shaky breath.

Sitting on the shower floor, contemplating.

Voice cracks when they speak & hesitate before responding to simple questions.

Avoidance and deflection when speaking such as “It doesn’t matter now” / “Don’t worry about it” / “I just need some sleep.”

Lingering in doorways instead of entering or lingering at the edge of the group.

Sleeping with noise or lights on to avoid feeling alone. Or as a distraction.

Fixating on small, meaningless tasks to keep busy.

⟢ PEOPLE DON'T FINISH SENTENCES! IMPORTANT! they interrupt themselves, they trail off, they start talking about eggs and somehow end up confessing their deepest fear about becoming their mother. Your dialogue should derail like a drunk train conductor took the wheel. "I was thinking we could—no wait, did you feed the cat? Because last time you said you would but—actually never mind, what I meant was—" SEE? HUMAN. Beautiful chaos.

⟢ Contractions exist??? USE THEM. Nobody says "I am going to the store" unless they're an alien spy or your grandmother leaving a voicemail. It's "I'm gonna" or even "gonna hit the store" or if they're really casual "store run, back in 20"

⟢ LISTEN TO ME! Said is NOT dead but said is also boring sometimes. Yeah yeah, "said is invisible," the writing teachers chant while burning incense. But you know what? Sometimes people mutter, snap, whisper, drawl, bite out their words. Your character just found out their partner sold their vinyl collection? They're not "saying" anything, they're HISSING like a Victorian ghost

⟢ People repeat themselves when emotional!!! "I can't believe you. I just—I can't believe you did this." Not poetic. Real. That's the point!!!

⟢ Subtext is doing heavy lifting, what people DON'T say matters more than what they do. "Fine" is never fine. "Whatever you want" means "I will remember this betrayal forever." Your readers are smart; let them read between the lines

Intimacy isn't always just the spicy stuff! Here's a few ways to show it through your characters in a few, simple ways...

Kissing their S/O's hand, knuckles, wrist...bonus points for eye contact!

Speaking of which...eyes. Glances across the room, prolonged eye contact, staring at each other

Tending to the other's wounds/ injuries

Knowing the other's tiny habits

Reaching out to the other when in pain, trouble, ect

Whispering jokes to each other

Carefully wiping off a stain from their clothes or face

Taking care of each other when sick or hurt

Hand over the heart/ ear over the heart just to hear it beat

Pressing their thumb over the pulse point for the same thing

Tracing scars, tattoos, birth marks, freckles

Giving the other something tiny that means a lot, a picture, a shiny rock, a flower

In fantasy settings, helping the other put on/ take off armor...trusting the other to know where daggers, knives, poisons are hidden

Telling each other secrets/ thoughts they've told nobody before

Tucking back the other's hair

Putting a piece of jewelry on the other or letting them borrow clothes

Keeping each other warm in the cold

In cases with chronic illness, letting the other care for/ know symptoms

Brushing, braiding hair, applying skincare, etc.

Nightmare comfort

Wiping away tears

Proximity- sitting near each other, sticking close, standing beside each other while doing a task such as cooking, laundry, painting...