Lachesisms

So I should send Meowth then

My panis is rusted iron nub so nobody really gives a shit about it

"they killed Shinzo Abe with that" needs to be the spiritual successor to "they beat Jesus with that"

What the fuck? You mean I have to walk an entire mile in this idiot who I hate’s shoes? This sucks

cannot stop saying "dude im always saying this" after a friend says the most highly specific never-before said sentence

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

Dude come on

This sucks

Is regret supposed to look like mario

gohan is the funniest ever version of a burnt out gifted kid because the thing he’s burnt out on is having superpowered martial arts abilities. by every other metric he’s a very stable and successful adult man but nobody in his life except his wife and mother care about that shit, and they all call him a washed up loser because he doesn’t want to shoot energy beams at aliens anymore.

I think sometimes cbt is a load of bullshit but once in a while you'll just effortlessly parry a thought that's trying to make you spiral and it feels so good. I've done it like 4 times tonight.

Did you mean CBD or are you talking about cock and ball torture

Yes if you beat the shit out of your nutsack you won't ever feel sad again. This is medical advice.

Hold on I'm gonna try this

AITA? My doctor said I needed a COVID test and had me pee on a stick that he put in his pocket before asking me to leave.

Sorry i just saw the words COVID test and got so honry i passed out!

Can we please stay on topic here

YTA