human disaster princess

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

truly the idea of "this scene is (un-)necessary to the story" is such a fundamentally uncurious and anti-art way of engaging with fiction. the story itself is unnecessary, in the sense that all art is unnecessary, because art is not a fucking optimization problem. that's the beauty of it

i've been thinking a lot the last few days about how so many people, even when they think they're defending art, automatically adopt the position of the STORY being the most important part of all fiction. the plot, the character arc, the worldbuilding, but it's always about moving something forward and building a narrative idea. and like....yes, fine, but sometimes i read books because i like the way the author puts words together! sometimes i watch movies because the images and sounds give me an ineffable human experience! not all art can be experienced via synopsis!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you think the doctors in charge of Mitch McConnell's body and organs are like having a huge debate like, who gets to be the lucky guy to pull his life support? Is he an organ donor? I think if you told a bunch of guys one of them would get to hack up McConnell's corpse and pull out his guts, they'd start a fistfight to see who got the privilege. Imagine getting to put Mitch McConnell's heart into an incinerator. What a thrill!

I’m going to ask for some elaboration, because I’m not sure what’s supposed to be thrilling about throwing a rock into a fire.

It's what he would have wanted - McConnell has always backed fossil fuels.

He’s practicing lab safety

He has little booties!!!!!!

this is the most Pokemon Professor-looking person I’ve ever seen in real life

We should all go to DC and demand that Mitch McConnell be presented to us for inspection like peasants petitioning an imperial court. Make a whole song and dance out of it.

Everybody was Sun Tzu Fighting (Riff Designed to Piss Off Your Enemies of Choleric Temperament)