Skeleton Then Ort

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

Additions from my husband: Bakers wear loafers and Zookeepers wear Crocs

Excellent additions.

Angels wear wingtips.

A lumberjack wears Timberlands.

Ice skaters wear slippers

Addition from my mom: delivery drivers wear vans

VERY good addition!

Achilles wears heels.

Blackjack dealers wear Deck shoes.

*whispers* holy shit

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

Same

ok but did you put your fucking h*gwarts house in your online class discussion forum introduction

absolutely not i have taste what i DID say for my interesting fact was that i have 999:59 hours in my copy of pokemon heartgold

ok ok i understand. this professor is just dunking on harry potter right out the gate unprompted

Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet

Ho oh

I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure

Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?

In the kindest way possible, fuck you

one of my favourite linguistic phenomena/in-jokes is spanish potato chips being “ham-flavored, probably”

You’ve heard of “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” now get ready for “It’s questionable whether or not this is ham”

Alleged Ham

saw a funny license plate today

This felt like a punch to the throat

On one hand, this would exasperate any Frenchmen within earshot, so good for her.

i love that the doctor introduces themselves as a "time lord," especially given that they didn't pass (or barely passed?) their exams. it's like if an alien walked up to a human, asked what their species was, and the human was like "i'm a law school graduate" and they were LYING