if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi

JBB: An Artblog!

titsay
Acquired Stardust
todays bird
đŞź

â
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Not today Justin

Product Placement
RMH

pixel skylines
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature
$LAYYYTER
styofa doing anything

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@rosinkattery
if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

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sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.
the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad
i hate that when you try and look up shit for writing purposes it starts linking suicide hotlines and addiction advice articles like bro i just wanna know the information im not killing myself i promise. now tell me what i wanna know
this job market is a fucking nightmare

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there was a chicken loose on the golf course so they just. brought it in. to the office.
you can't argue with her work ethic
Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Whyâd you gotta squeal, Squealinâ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big BossâŚ
Guy tied up in chair: uhâŚtheres just one guy over there.
Mafia boss: Yeah. Thatâs Lilâ Tony. Heâs got one of dem conditions where heâs got multiple mooks nâ his head. But when Big Tony fronts youâre gonna be in big trouble.
Lilâ Tony: We actually all agree weâre gonna kick your ass.
it's not frequent enough to be considered a meme or a trend, but I like how every so often this site gets a new "woke mafia boss" variation.
Stratt: tries to make a going-off comfort gift and instead creates the most insensitive thing possible
Also Stratt seeing Grace wear the shirt in the video logs: oh good he likes the shirt
Would you rather have a Phineas and Ferb summer or a Gravity Falls summer?
would you rather have endless fun forever or have satan attack you every day
btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

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So, way back when I was a wee little cringe nerd (tentatively affectionate), I was absolutely bonkers obsessed with Percy Jackson. I also had basically zero access to the internet and only an extremely vague idea of what fanfiction was, and I definitely wasn't immersed in the fanfiction culture of the time. So that meant whenever I had Thoughts and Ideas, I was writing those fuckers straight into my class notebooks for all the world but especially my teachers to see. That being said, I just remembered my very first ever fanfiction idea, of which I wrote three pages of looseleaf in my seventh-grade social studies class with my best friend in between assignments. Which I will now elaborate on as an Adult because honestly, what else do I have a semi-popular Tumblr blog for?
The basic idea is that, in the Son of Neptune, instead of heading straight for Camp Jupiter, Percy very vaguely remembers that the mysterious Annabeth lives very close by. He skids down the hill next to the Caldecott Tunnel, but instead of crashing into the highway, he lands in the back of a pickup and is carried away by a very panicked+annoyed driver who wants the kid in the back of his truck out.
(Please imagine Frank and Hazel, standing guard, watching some random kid go screaming down the side of a hill on a serving platter while pursued by gorgons, land in a pickup, and, still screaming, swordfight said gorgons. Who get whacked out of the air and run over by a school bus. Can you fucking imagine)
(Please also imagine Juno, waiting invisibly next to the road, also watching Percy go screaming by in a truck. She had been waiting there to give Percy her mysterious "choose safety or your memories" spiel but now he's fucking gone)
Reyna recognizes Percy and Annabeth on sight. Annabeth knows she's seen her somewhere but doesn't know where. Percy doesn't recognize her at all.
Percy establish pretty quickly that he has no memory and has no fucking clue what's going on. Annabeth stays silent and lets everyone make their assumptions, mainly that she also has no memory, because she recognizes an Extremely Dangerous Situation when it's waving a giant red flag in her face. Juno told the Legion to protect Percy. She basically told them to kill Annabeth. And they had a weird reaction to her parentage- she isn't going to incriminate herself any further without more info. She also knows a bit about the Roman camp from Jason, who told them as much as he could once his memory started returning, so she knows how dangerous the Romans can be.
aaand here's the fic
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
completed with chapter 2!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
(The plot picks up after the events of that fic ^)
With some minor changes, Percyâs quest in SoN proceeds as normal. Instead of his dreams featuring people trying to find him, itâs Annabeth and Jason making their way to New Rome. They keep getting delayed by run-of-the mill Demigod Shenanagins that delay their trip so that they only make it to New Rome on the day of the battle. Annabeth+Jason and Percy+Hazel+Frank basically arrive at the same time and together turn the tide of the battle.
Percy still kills Polydectes. After the battle, Annabeth, Jason, and Percy, with the advantage of numbers+more time, manage to convince Camp Jupiter that the Greeks really are good guys and not out to kill everyone. Percy doesnât become the praetor of New Rome because Jason came back right before the election, but literally nobody is mad about that.Â
The Argo II arrives two days after the battle and Jason is so excited to have his friends back that he wonât let Leo and Piper out of his sight. This is good, because the eldidon canât get to the canons on the Argo II without stirring suspicion, so instead Leo starts lighting shit on fire like a flamethrower. Percy immediately douses him with water and knocks Leo the fuck out in 30 seconds flat before people have time to start rioting.
New Rome realizes somethingâs up when the ship flies away in the middle of the night. Percy, Frank, and Hazel go straight to Reyna, and all four of them are together when Annabeth Iris-Messages Percy. She explains that theyâre stuck going to CHB and canât stop the ship- Jason can fly everyone off, but that doesnât fix the Leo Is Possessed (?) problem. They agree for Percy, Hazel, and Frank to rendezvous with the ship in Salt Lake City where Jason will get them onto the ship. It looks like the quest is ahoy whether they were ready or not. Meanwhile, Reyna will muster the army and head to CHB to plan for the upcoming giant war thatâs stirring.Â
And then finally. Finally. The plot is kinda back on track. Leo regains consciousness and frees the ship from its course in Salt Lake City, but they continue east anyways. He doesnât act possessed anymore but everyone (including him) is on edge because clearly something is up.Â
Percy and Jason have their possessed fight in Kansas and Piper gets the eldidons out of all three of them. They continue east to NC, quickly even though theyâre not being pursued by a Roman army.
On the seven's side, the rest of the quest goes basically as usual up until the Rome quest. They realize that after Nico ran away from Percy in New Rome, he went straight to Tartarus and got caught+trapped. People say some highly questionable things in terms of "should we really rescue Nico from the giants? do we have to? he kinda sucks?", even more than in canon. Eventually, they decide to save him because the prophecy said to.
On their end, New Rome is making their way to Camp Half-Blood to join forces against the giant threat. NR has no way of communicating with CHB (insert plot excuse for this), but the seven manage to Iris-Message CHB and warn them the Romans are coming and are not trying to kill them, so CHB is at least warned beforehand.
You know I live the whole Clockwork hates Speedsters HC, but I do love the idea of the Speedforce being Clockworkâs child and thus him seeing the Speedsters as his grandbabies.
His little rascals.
Theyâre just wittle babies who donât know that playing with time has consequences.
And they keep trying to fix their mistakes, these little cuties!
Clockwork loves his grandbabies, even if heâs sometimes exasperated by them.
Clockwork may love them, but Danny absolutely hates them!
What do you mean they just left three timelines in the edge of collapsing and they don't even get a slap in the wrist for it!? Clockwork, Danny was almost eliminated when Dan did less! It wasn't even Danny and you were to eliminate him!
I love the idea
Danny: Mmm!!! - feeling jealous that he didn't scold the Flash/speedsters but did scold him - I hate you
Flash:But what did I do to make her hate me? - without knowing anything about the context - (Did I upset her? Did I say something bad?) - thinking and wondering why Dany hates him -
Clockwork shows up with this trippy looking vaguely humanoid being, âNone of that now. The Observants are only policing the Infinite Realm. They donât care about the living.â
Danny pointing at Flash, âHeâs died multiple times.â
The trippy being sighs, âI knew my ex was going to keep causing trouble. The head of the Observants carved out an exception for superheroes. Until,â Points at Flash, âheâs dead dead, as in not coming back, the Observants donât bother with them. You fall under it since you died first then became a superhero.â
âWait, should we be worried about Deadman?â Flash asks.
The trippy being puts her head into her hands, âPlease do not mention my second exâs child. The Observants would change the rules to include non-Infinite Realm Ghosts to mess with both Deadmanâs unlife, and the living lives of Justice League Dark.â
Danny glares at Flash, âStill not fair.â
Flash shrugs, âWhat do you expect me to do about it. Fistfight some Observants, whoever they are?â
Danny perks, âI want to meet all the alien superheroes. If I have to clean up your messes, I need encouragement. A day with an alien superhero for each clean up of yours I need to address.â
âOne hour and there canât be disasters.â
âTwenty hours, over a week, no overlap with disasters.â
âTwo hours, no disaster overlap, visitor area of the Hall of Justice for the meeting.â
Danny scowled, âSixteen hours, no disasters, meeting room in the Hall of Justice.â
Flash grinned, âThree hours, no disasters, meeting room on the Watchtower in space.â
Dannyâs eyes glow, âDeal. I want to meet the Martian first.â
As he turns to leave Flash asks, âWhich Martian? Martian Manhunter or Miss Martian?â
Danny nearly vibrates, âThereâs two of them?â At Flashâs nod, âManhunter first, then Miss Martian. Starting with the current mess.â
âThanks Phantom,â Flash waits until Danny is gone, âI better have bribes for Jâonn and Mâgann. At least I can get Bats off my back.â
Zips off with a whistle, leaving two exasperated entities of Time and Speedforce respectively.
How am I only just learning this!?
[ID: a cropped screenshot of the AO3 Exclude filter section, reading "Other tags to exclude". "*/reader" and "*/you" have been selected. End ID.]
Wait
[ID: cropped screenshot of the ao3 include filter, reading "Other tags to include:" with "*/James "Bucky" Barnes" selected. /end ID]
IT WORKS
Is this new???? I've been wanting wildcard relationship search for YEARS đđđ
My multishipping ass is about to go ham...
helpful info for those who need it
I learned that this was a thing you could do while searching some archives in history class like a month ago.
It took seeing this post to realize that it was a possibility that it might work on Archive of Our Own.
Clearing out my google drive and found this. posting it here so i can delete the file. use it as a prompt or smth ig.
âHeâs a protection spirit.â
All eyes turned to look at the speaker, who rarely spoke up unless forced.Â
âWill you elaborate on that, John?â Superman inquired. The meeting was about an apparent metahuman a government organization had labeled a ghost, who had been terrorizing a little town in Illinois for the past few years.
John Constantine sighed at this, before answering. âThat sounds like a protection spirit. A ghost who claims a certain area as its own and protects it and the people in it from those who would do harm.âÂ
John lit a cigarette and took a drag before continuing, indifferent to the glare sent his way by Batman. âSpontaneously developing new abilities to combat a threat, the dislike for people who recklessly damage property and hurt citizens with no remorse, both are indicative of a protection spirit.â
John paused again, this time to get another look at the blurry image of Phantom on the screen. âHe also fought the last Ghost King one on one and won the crown, so don't think to know who'd win in a fight against him. And best not to piss him off, he's got the favor of the Ancients, concepts given form. Not to mention the whole âFavored of the Infinite Realms herselfâ thing.â
For a moment there I thought John was speaking about Red Hood, cause aside from developing new powers, the description fits him.
New Red Hood headcanon: no Revenant, but protection spirit! Jason
In the middle of a Justice League meeting, Batman feels a tug on his cape. He looks down to see a little boy who could easily pass as one of his.
"Erm," the boy starts. "I frew up."
Strange things had been happening to Danny ever since he went into the big tunnel in Mommy and Daddyâs lab and got zapped.
He got really clumsy all of the sudden, things kept falling out of his hands and he kept getting his feet stuck in weird places. He also got really good at hide and seek, Tucker looked right at him and still didnât see him. His booboos got better really fast and heâs was better at gymboree than he was before.
Danny tried telling Mommy and Daddy about what was happening but they where so happy their tunnel was working he didnât want to bother them, they where so sad when it didnât work, besides Jazzy said he was a big boy now and big boys took care of their own problems. This problem however was too big for even a big boy like him.
He was just on the ops center looking at the stars and wishing he could touch them. He thought about what Tucker said about the superheroes having a clubhouse in space and he wondered if he could see it if he looked hard enough. Danny stared and stared and the stars started looking closer and closer. Then he saw the clubhouse it was getting bigger too. Danny wondered if he looked hard enough if he could see his favorite hero Martian Manhunter if he looked close enough, maybe heâd even see Batman, he was Sammyâs favorite.
He didnât see Martian Manhunter through the windows but he did see Batman. It looked like Batman and the other heroes where having group time at their circle table, they had lots of papers out, maybe it was drawing time. Danny wondered what they where drawing and looked so hard through the window it was like he went through it and was standing in the room with the heroes.
Suddenly Danny realizes he wasnât looking so hard that he saw the clubhouse, he was actually in the clubhouse. How was he supposed to go home? how did he even get up here? Did he fly? Was Danny a superhero too and didnât know it?
This was definitely a problem even a big boy couldnât solve on his own, so he did what Jazzy always told him to do if he found a problem too big for even a big boy to fix, tell an adult.
He walked up to the closest hero and tugged at his cape. âErm,â he started âI flew upâ
âŚâŚ.
TLDR- Danny got his powers at age five and doesnât realize he has powers until he accidentally flies to the watch tower.
I canât stop myself
âŚ.
All the superheroes where really nice. Batman gave him a juice box and Flash got a bunch of fun snacks. The heroes where asking him all kinds of questions, he felt like it was show and tell.
âŚ.
Whatâs your name?
Danny
How did you get up here?
I flewed
Where did you come from?
My house
Whatâs your address?
I donât have a dress, Jazzy has a few but I donât think they will fit you
What are your parents names?
Mommy and Daddy
What do the other adults call your parents?
Crazy
Where do you go to school?
Miss Hartmanâs class
Do your Mommy and Daddy know youâre here?
I donât know
How long have you been flying?
I didnât know I could fly till I got here
How did you get inside?
I went through the window
What does your house look like?
Itâs a brown house with a spaceship on top and a big green sign
What does the sign say?
I donât know I canât read good yet, but it starts with an F, we learned about the letter F this week, Miss Hartman let me and Tucker talk about it cause both our names have an F in it.
What part of your name has an F in it?
Fenton
âŚ
The heroes seemed really happy to learn that Fenton started with an F.
Fenton isn't the most common name but having more info to narrow things down would be great, so they ask about the little one what the F in his friends name stands for.
"Foley"
Now two last names to narrow down the City, maybe even neighbourhood.
And they found it.
Very solidly on Earth, the parents are known Ghost hunters with little ghosts to hunt. And then they ask the boy if anything weird had happened before he started feeling different.
"I've been really clumsy since I went into the Tunnel Mommy and Daddy built. It zapped me real bad and they look really happy since it started to work on top of me! I've never gone through walls, disappeared and flown though. Maybe that's from the fighting breakfast sausages I had this morning?"
...
Well, that's concerning.
Jazz was having a really bad day.
It all started when she couldnât find Danny this morning. At first she did t think is was weird Danny wasnât in his own bed, since the portal started working she had been finding Danny sleeping in all kinds of strange places, maybe he was sleep walking.
She looked everywhere in the house; Dannyâs bed, under his bed, his closet, under her bed, in her closet, mom and dads room (they didnât sleep there again), under the kitchen table, in the cupboards, on top of the fridge, under the couch, behind the TV, in the scary closet lady in the dungeon, and every hidey hole Danny had in the ops center.
She even checked the lab, even though she knew Danny wouldnât go there willingly, he had been scared of the lab since he got zapped, even if he wouldnât admit it.
Mom and Dad where too busy to even listen to her worries, again. It had gotten worse since the portal started working. She thought they never left the lab before but now she knew it could get worse, because it had. After getting the net off herself (they thought she was a ghost again) she asked them if they had seen Danny. Mom said they hadnât seen Danny since Saturday afternoon. It was Thursday morning. And it had been her Mom talked too on Saturday. Why had she asked her parents they wouldnât have known anyway.
Maybe Danny had already headed to school. He was always saying he was a big boy now and he was ready for âsponsibilities like getting himself dressed in the morning and setting the table. Maybe he decided to be âsponsible and walk to school early today. She was going to have a long talk with Danny again, he should know better than to leave the house without telling her, or going to school without his backpack, or his lunch.
Jazz really hoped Danny was at school.
âŚ.
Danny wasnât at school.
Miss. Hartman hadnât seen him, Tucker hadnât seen him, Sam hadnât seen him, the hall monitor hadnât seen him, the lunch lady hadnât seen him, nobody had seen Danny.
Jazz was trying her best not to cry. Danny was missing and none of the adults where listening to her. She told them she couldnât find Danny, that she hadnât seen him since last night, that she had hoped he went to school without her.
They just told her not to worry, the adults were sure Danny was safe at home, and that her parents just forgot to call the school, and that she was making up stories again.
Why did adults always think she was making up stories when she told them the truth.
But no, there was no way Jazz and Danny could walk to school alone, they where far too young. No way Jazz knew how to cook, she could barely reach the stove top. No way Jazz could have fought glowing hotdogs, food doesnât do that.
Why did adults never take her seriously. Danny was missing and no one cared. They just told her she was exaggerating and that if Danny was missing surely her parents would have noticed.
But they didnât
Mom and Dad never notice
They are always too busy trying to hunt ghosts!
(Jazz was starting to think there where no ghosts but if she admitted it than it meant her parents ignored them for nothing)
Jazz felt the hot tears welling in her eyes.
She heard the teachers try to calm her down
She tasted the salt of her tears on her tongue as she sobbed
She heard the principal try to call her parents (like they would leave the lab long enough to pick up)
She wanted her little brother. She needed to know he was safe. She needed the adults to listen to her for once.
She needed-
She needed someone to rescue her.
She needed a hero.
Does the JL have a public hotline? I can just see a conversation happening. Like, the operators are trained to work with adults and teens reacting to a crisis not distressed seven year olds crying and babbling so bad they canât even tell what language is being spoken. So eventually after being passed from operator to operator to try and find someone who can understand her (even the parents whoâd dealt with distressed kids werenât having any luck) and knows what to do all the while sheâs getting more distressed because no one is listening, someone eventually decides to see if the heroes with more experience with distressed experience could help. Wonder Woman as one of the more personable members agrees to take the call.
âHey sweetheart,â Diana said, stepping out of the meeting room, âI know whatever is happening is probably a lot, but I canât make out what youâre saying. Can you take a few deep breaths for me? I know it sounds silly, but it will help.â
The child on the line (the area code put them in the same part of Illinois as Amity Park which she took note of) followed her instructions before repeating their message. âMy, b-brother is is missing and and no-no one is listening! I-I have-havenât seen since last n-night and I looked around the wh-whole house! I looked all over his room and my room and mom and dadâs room and the living room and the kitchen and the lab even though he hasnât gone down there since he got zapped because that scared him even though he wonât say it did! I even asked mom and dad but mom said she hadnât seen him since Saturday aft-afternoo-oon but I was the one she talked to on Saturday. But heâs saying heâs a big boy so I thought he mightâve walked himself to school, but the teachers said he wasnât there anâ Tucker hadnât seen âim anâ anâ i tried to tell the teachers but they thought i was telling stories again like they always do anâ I do-donât know what to do but i need a-a hero so I called you!â
Slightly on autopilot as she processed those words (not even recognizing the name in the poor childâs story as the same as Dannyâs friend until later), she asked for some basic information. âOkay, sweetheart. Iâm happy to help, but Iâll need some information to help me find him. First whatâs your name? And how old are you?â
âMâ name is Jazz. âM seven.â
âAlright Jazz. Can you tell me your last name?â
âFenton. âM Jazz Fenton.â And suddenly everything felt a bit too coincidental.
âHey, sweetheart? Would your brotherâs name happen to be Danny?â
âYou know him!? Do you know where he is? Is he safe? Can you bring him home?â
âYes, sweetheart. He actually got to the Watchtower up in space somehow. We were actually trying to figure out where he was from, but thatâs a lot harder when he doesnât know a lot of the information that would help us. We actually had just figured out where he lived to get him home when your call got to me. Would you mind answering some questions we have while we work on getting your brother back to you?â
âYeah, as long as Dannyâs safe. Can I talk to him?â
âSure thing sweetheart, just give me a bit.â Stepping back into the meeting room, Diana handed put her phone on speaker before holding it toward Danny and telling him âDanny, your sister, Jazz, is on the phone.â Due to the view of space that they had, they had thankfully been able to contain the child. Mostly.
âJazzy! Iâs in space! Iâs so cool! Anâ tha hewos are weally weally nice!â
âThatâs great, Danny. I was really worried when I couldnât find you this morning!â
âIâs sowwy. I fwewed. I âidnât know i could do thaâ befow.â
fucking hell, even if you think the kids making it up. at least check it out.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus! Â When Batman (and the rest of the JL, but we all know the biggest reaction with be from Bats) hears this, things...start to move very quickly. Â For the purposes of this scenario, Jazz borrowed a phone from one of her older classmates to make the call, so sheâs still at the school when all this is going down. Â Wonder Woman is talking soothingly to her on the line, both assuring her that help is on the way and keeping the rest of the JL updated through Jâonnâs telepathic link. Â Batman, in the meanwhile, has tapped several members as a response team (himself, Wonder Woman and Black Canary as she has psych experience), managed to get Danny to latch on to another member who is staying behind (again, likely Martian Manhunter because ACTUAL REAL ALIEN! Â Tell me all about Mars, please?!) and made a very stern phone call to the Amity Park CPS office. Â The gist of the call? Â You have allowed a very serious abuse case to slip through the cracks. Â I you donât have an agent at Casper Elementary School in the next 20 minutes, I will ensure everyone knows about it.
They Zeta down the the closest major city and the waiting Batwing flies them over in record time. Â Once they arrive, Jazz comes sprinting out (followed by a rather perplexed gaggle of teachers, administrators and curious students) to fling herself into Wonder Womanâs open arms. Â When the CPS agent gets there...well, things are kinda tense...
CPS flunky: Â Really, the girl is always going on about having to fight her food and kill it again before she can safely eat it! Â Why are you even...
Batman: Â *doomglare* Â This childâs brother somehow managed to sleepwalk into the Watchtower.
Wonder Woman: Â *still cradling Jazz* Â Which is, if you didnât know, in low Earth orbit.
Black Canary: *resisting the urge to use her scream on this idiot* Â And, even if this wasnât the case, YOU CHECK THESE THINGS OUT REGARDLESS!!!
The CPS flunky (and the rest of the Caspar Elementary staff) goes corpse white and starts pulling out some paperwork from their bags. Â After listening (and Jazz is so relieved to FINALLY be listened to) to the story, they say they need to assess the home situation immediately. Â And the JL members insist on accompanying them for this.
Which leads to the CPS flunky, Batman and Wonder Woman standing outside the door of FentonWorks (Black Canary stayed back with Jazz) and about to knock on the door...
...what could possibly go wrong?
Dave didnât think the situation would be as bad as it was. Everyone knew the Fentonâs where wackos, always going on about ghosts. They where annoying yes but harmless, unless Jack Fenton was driving but that was the traffic cops department not his.
Dave was not expecting to get shot by green lasers when he rang the doorbell (if it wasnât for Wonder Woman he would have more than just a hole in his tie). Nor was he expecting Jasmineâs non-reaction as she used her house key to open the door (maybe he should have listened when she told him not to ring the bell)
At first the living room looked pretty typical for small town America but then Dave noticed some peculiarities. The room was mostly clean but only the bottom half. Everything under five feet was spotless, over five feet and it was filthy. Jasmine Fenton was under five feet but with her arms outstretched she could probably just reach the cleaning line.
The kitchen also looked fairly normal, if not for the step stools and toy guns on the kitchen table. The stools where everywhere, by the fridge, the cupboards, even the stove. Dave checked the cupboards, there was cheap but relatively healthy food at the bottom and expired snacks up top, far out of Jasmineâs reach even with the step stool.
Dave made a quick peak in the fridge and -
âŚ.
Food should not do that, it should not be glowing and moving. Those where hotdogs how where they moving? If it wasnât for Batman and Jasmine he would be dead three times today. He thought the gun was a toy, it shot lasers just like the door bell. What kind of parents left working laser guns on the kitchen table and why did Jasmine even know how to use it. This was worse than he thought.
Just when Dave thought it couldnât get any worse and explosion came from the basement. Jasmine didnât even flinch, she just went to the bottom shelf next to the basement door and grabbed an EMT sized first aid kit and headed down the steps with the heroes in quick pursuit.
âŚ.
He was only a few seconds behind them, how had Batman end up covered in glowing green goo, why was Black Canary and Wonder Woman in a fist fight with the Fentons, where those open chemicals and a weapons vault and was that a swirling green portal in the wall. Why where the Fentons claiming the heroes where ghosts and telling Jasmine to throw them weapons, was that a bazooka, and a whip with Jack Fentonâs face on it. What the hell was going on!
âŚ
Dave was going to retire. He was going to retire and move far away from the Fenton menace. The Drs. Fenton had been detained, tied up in their own glowing green net. Now they where yelling at Jasmine, saying she was a ghost, that was the only reason they could think of that she would shoot them with a net gun after they tried to shoot the downed Batman with the Bazooka.
Jasmine was seconds away from crying, saying she wasnât a ghost and just wanted them to stop fighting. Her parents started going on about how the ghosts where obviously tricking her, and how she could be so stupid to believe a ghost, and how they raised her better than that. All this was going on as the seven year old patched up her parents wounds with a worryingly practiced ease.
Dave didnât know what to do, none of his training mentioned what to do when mad scientists attacked the Justice League. No fosters in Amity would dare take the kids in fear their parents would come looking for them. Dave had seen Jack Fenton go through brick walls like the Kool-Aid Man, he doubted any prison could hold him for long. And if Daniel had powers like the heroes thought it would be even harder to place the kids in a home together.
Apparently Batman is a mind reader as just as Dave was about to bring up the placement issue the dark knight gave Dave the contact info of a league approved emergency foster who would take the kids in no questions asked. Dave looked at the card and thought maybe the rumors where true, maybe Batman was Bruce Wayneâs sugar baby.
Welp, looks like the only way Diana is gonna get to have her precious new kids is to take one for the team and marry Bruce Wayne. Thatâs life, I suppose.
If Diana wanted kids she should have been registered as an emergency foster parent. Themâs the breaks.
Diana is absolutely going to get a foster licence now and apply to get the kids. "After all Bruce, me or J'onn would be far better suited guardians for the children! It's either that or you marry me!"
Jason is super pleased to find out Wonder Woman is going to be his new Mom. Dick is fine with it. But his OTP will always be superbat!
Jason is so determined to get his OTP canonized he blackmails Tim into helping him prevent Diana from becoming a foster so that she has no choice but to marry Bruce.
Tim thinks itâs a stupid idea. On the other hand he does not want Kon to be his stepbrother if Dickâs SuperBat plans ever succeed and if Bruce is already married, weâll at least it would add a speed bump for whatever he was scheming.
Dick: âHAH! As if that would stop my plans! Brucie boy has two hands and a family history of polyamory; I WILL have my SuperStepdad!!â
Tim: please Dick think of Damian. Do you really want to explain what the âstrange feelingsâ he gets around Jon really mean and then turn around and break his little black heart by telling him he and Jon canât be together cause theyâre step brothers?
Dick *torn between his two otps SuperBat and DamiJon*- distressed duck notices.
Dick:... That's a dirty rotten move. Fine.
Tim: Thank you! You just made me, Jason AND Damian pleased!
----
Danny and Jazz have been having an interesting time. Mom and Dad are now in prison. And they live in a new house. And Danny gets to see Martian Manhunter lots! Cause of his new powers! And they get to see Wonder Woman too! Apparently Jazz has powers too! Just not as strong as Danny! How cool is that! So they get to train like heroes do!
And Mr Bruce is ok. Mr Alfred is the best! And they have lots of new siblings! Jazz doesn't have to spend all her time looking after Danny! She gets to just be a kid!
Had a thought to add-
so like the day of, while theyre still in the lab and taking time to gather evidence, Tucker wanders over cause school is out now and Jazz seemed pretty worried so of course he had to check on Danny! (I think it's implyed in the christmjas episode that they don't meet sam until later on so she's not here also how do you write as a 5 year old?? XD)
Everyone else is busy yelling at the Fentons and Jazz is sitting off to the side crying, but Jazz is like his big sister too so he sits by her and listens and hugs her and waits for all the grownups to stop being dumb, but at least he knows Danny is ok! And space! man he's gotta be so hyper right now! Tucker noticed after his sudden super hero powers started showing up Danny's love of space has gotten worse. He starts glowing when they look at books or watch tv, but Tucker dosen't think he realized he does that yet.
The green light in the room flickers and all the grown ups- wait was that the Justice League?!?! how had tucker missed that before?!?- turns to the portal looking ready to fight but its just Ms. Lunch Lady with Danny's after school snacks.
Though as soon as she sees the Fentons tied up she's got her scary face on and yelling "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE CHILDREN?!?!"
The heroes look ready to fight but Tucker knows she's just worried about Danny so he walks over -the grownups finally notice him and they look scared- and waves to her smiling "Hi Ms. Lunch lady!"
That thankfully gets rid of her scary face, tucker dosen't like her scary face.., as she turns to him and her voice is soft again. "Hello dear, are you alright? what happened, wheres your friend at?" cause she explained while Danny's love of space makes him happy and his powers stronger, Ms. lunch lady likes to make sure kids like them have lots of food and are safe. Especially Danny, she says Danny was a lot like her world but also not.
"Danny's not here right now Ms lunch lady sorry, but um, i guess he finally got the flying power and went into space while he was asleep last night?"
She looked panicked as he said that so he kept talking "But he's ok! the superheroes found him! and jazz called them cause she got scared when she couldn't find him so i guess they came to pick her up?" He looks around at the grown ups again, Ms lunch lady is looking at the heroes like they might hurt tucker or jazz like the skullbot tried to do that one time but Danny totally beat him up before he could. but they wouldn't theyre heroes!
(switching to ww pov cause damn how do you write a 5 year old without big words?!)
Diana sees the situation for what it is, she recognizes the feel of the woman and begins to understand just what little Danny is now. At least partialy, and so young too..
She puts a hand on Bruce's shoulder, He's tense and although he sees that the boy trusts the ghost, his own parental instincts are screaming stranger danger because it's still an unknown entity. Bruce relaxes just a little at her unvoiced reassurance and steps forward.
"Hello, I'm very sorry to make you worry ma'm. But I assure you we mean the children no harm. I can call Danny if you'd like? We can take these two upstairs and talk, I'm sure they've had their fill of angry adults for the day."
Ms lunch lady, as Tucker called her, Diana was aware of their kinds importance on chosen names, eyes the rest of the room again before turning to the children, Jazz seemed a bit unsure, like she didn't know lunch lady as well as tucker. but the boy smiles and takes her hand leading the floating woman upstairs. Jazz jumping up soon after "Tucker wait! let me turn off the thing first!!"
Diana sighs at the fentons renewed ranting, pats Bruces shoulder again with a smile, "Let me take care of the magic things for now, you focus on the legal ones." because if she didn't bruce would run himself thin in a research session and neither they or his own children have the space to worry about that right now. Clark wasn't here to back her up for an intervention, too busy entertaining Danny with J'ohn at the watch tower.

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In the middle of a Justice League meeting, Batman feels a tug on his cape. He looks down to see a little boy who could easily pass as one of his.
"Erm," the boy starts. "I frew up."
Strange things had been happening to Danny ever since he went into the big tunnel in Mommy and Daddyâs lab and got zapped.
He got really clumsy all of the sudden, things kept falling out of his hands and he kept getting his feet stuck in weird places. He also got really good at hide and seek, Tucker looked right at him and still didnât see him. His booboos got better really fast and heâs was better at gymboree than he was before.
Danny tried telling Mommy and Daddy about what was happening but they where so happy their tunnel was working he didnât want to bother them, they where so sad when it didnât work, besides Jazzy said he was a big boy now and big boys took care of their own problems. This problem however was too big for even a big boy like him.
He was just on the ops center looking at the stars and wishing he could touch them. He thought about what Tucker said about the superheroes having a clubhouse in space and he wondered if he could see it if he looked hard enough. Danny stared and stared and the stars started looking closer and closer. Then he saw the clubhouse it was getting bigger too. Danny wondered if he looked hard enough if he could see his favorite hero Martian Manhunter if he looked close enough, maybe heâd even see Batman, he was Sammyâs favorite.
He didnât see Martian Manhunter through the windows but he did see Batman. It looked like Batman and the other heroes where having group time at their circle table, they had lots of papers out, maybe it was drawing time. Danny wondered what they where drawing and looked so hard through the window it was like he went through it and was standing in the room with the heroes.
Suddenly Danny realizes he wasnât looking so hard that he saw the clubhouse, he was actually in the clubhouse. How was he supposed to go home? how did he even get up here? Did he fly? Was Danny a superhero too and didnât know it?
This was definitely a problem even a big boy couldnât solve on his own, so he did what Jazzy always told him to do if he found a problem too big for even a big boy to fix, tell an adult.
He walked up to the closest hero and tugged at his cape. âErm,â he started âI flew upâ
âŚâŚ.
TLDR- Danny got his powers at age five and doesnât realize he has powers until he accidentally flies to the watch tower.
I canât stop myself
âŚ.
All the superheroes where really nice. Batman gave him a juice box and Flash got a bunch of fun snacks. The heroes where asking him all kinds of questions, he felt like it was show and tell.
âŚ.
Whatâs your name?
Danny
How did you get up here?
I flewed
Where did you come from?
My house
Whatâs your address?
I donât have a dress, Jazzy has a few but I donât think they will fit you
What are your parents names?
Mommy and Daddy
What do the other adults call your parents?
Crazy
Where do you go to school?
Miss Hartmanâs class
Do your Mommy and Daddy know youâre here?
I donât know
How long have you been flying?
I didnât know I could fly till I got here
How did you get inside?
I went through the window
What does your house look like?
Itâs a brown house with a spaceship on top and a big green sign
What does the sign say?
I donât know I canât read good yet, but it starts with an F, we learned about the letter F this week, Miss Hartman let me and Tucker talk about it cause both our names have an F in it.
What part of your name has an F in it?
Fenton
âŚ
The heroes seemed really happy to learn that Fenton started with an F.
Fenton isn't the most common name but having more info to narrow things down would be great, so they ask about the little one what the F in his friends name stands for.
"Foley"
Now two last names to narrow down the City, maybe even neighbourhood.
And they found it.
Very solidly on Earth, the parents are known Ghost hunters with little ghosts to hunt. And then they ask the boy if anything weird had happened before he started feeling different.
"I've been really clumsy since I went into the Tunnel Mommy and Daddy built. It zapped me real bad and they look really happy since it started to work on top of me! I've never gone through walls, disappeared and flown though. Maybe that's from the fighting breakfast sausages I had this morning?"
...
Well, that's concerning.
Jazz was having a really bad day.
It all started when she couldnât find Danny this morning. At first she did t think is was weird Danny wasnât in his own bed, since the portal started working she had been finding Danny sleeping in all kinds of strange places, maybe he was sleep walking.
She looked everywhere in the house; Dannyâs bed, under his bed, his closet, under her bed, in her closet, mom and dads room (they didnât sleep there again), under the kitchen table, in the cupboards, on top of the fridge, under the couch, behind the TV, in the scary closet lady in the dungeon, and every hidey hole Danny had in the ops center.
She even checked the lab, even though she knew Danny wouldnât go there willingly, he had been scared of the lab since he got zapped, even if he wouldnât admit it.
Mom and Dad where too busy to even listen to her worries, again. It had gotten worse since the portal started working. She thought they never left the lab before but now she knew it could get worse, because it had. After getting the net off herself (they thought she was a ghost again) she asked them if they had seen Danny. Mom said they hadnât seen Danny since Saturday afternoon. It was Thursday morning. And it had been her Mom talked too on Saturday. Why had she asked her parents they wouldnât have known anyway.
Maybe Danny had already headed to school. He was always saying he was a big boy now and he was ready for âsponsibilities like getting himself dressed in the morning and setting the table. Maybe he decided to be âsponsible and walk to school early today. She was going to have a long talk with Danny again, he should know better than to leave the house without telling her, or going to school without his backpack, or his lunch.
Jazz really hoped Danny was at school.
âŚ.
Danny wasnât at school.
Miss. Hartman hadnât seen him, Tucker hadnât seen him, Sam hadnât seen him, the hall monitor hadnât seen him, the lunch lady hadnât seen him, nobody had seen Danny.
Jazz was trying her best not to cry. Danny was missing and none of the adults where listening to her. She told them she couldnât find Danny, that she hadnât seen him since last night, that she had hoped he went to school without her.
They just told her not to worry, the adults were sure Danny was safe at home, and that her parents just forgot to call the school, and that she was making up stories again.
Why did adults always think she was making up stories when she told them the truth.
But no, there was no way Jazz and Danny could walk to school alone, they where far too young. No way Jazz knew how to cook, she could barely reach the stove top. No way Jazz could have fought glowing hotdogs, food doesnât do that.
Why did adults never take her seriously. Danny was missing and no one cared. They just told her she was exaggerating and that if Danny was missing surely her parents would have noticed.
But they didnât
Mom and Dad never notice
They are always too busy trying to hunt ghosts!
(Jazz was starting to think there where no ghosts but if she admitted it than it meant her parents ignored them for nothing)
Jazz felt the hot tears welling in her eyes.
She heard the teachers try to calm her down
She tasted the salt of her tears on her tongue as she sobbed
She heard the principal try to call her parents (like they would leave the lab long enough to pick up)
She wanted her little brother. She needed to know he was safe. She needed the adults to listen to her for once.
She needed-
She needed someone to rescue her.
She needed a hero.
Does the JL have a public hotline? I can just see a conversation happening. Like, the operators are trained to work with adults and teens reacting to a crisis not distressed seven year olds crying and babbling so bad they canât even tell what language is being spoken. So eventually after being passed from operator to operator to try and find someone who can understand her (even the parents whoâd dealt with distressed kids werenât having any luck) and knows what to do all the while sheâs getting more distressed because no one is listening, someone eventually decides to see if the heroes with more experience with distressed experience could help. Wonder Woman as one of the more personable members agrees to take the call.
âHey sweetheart,â Diana said, stepping out of the meeting room, âI know whatever is happening is probably a lot, but I canât make out what youâre saying. Can you take a few deep breaths for me? I know it sounds silly, but it will help.â
The child on the line (the area code put them in the same part of Illinois as Amity Park which she took note of) followed her instructions before repeating their message. âMy, b-brother is is missing and and no-no one is listening! I-I have-havenât seen since last n-night and I looked around the wh-whole house! I looked all over his room and my room and mom and dadâs room and the living room and the kitchen and the lab even though he hasnât gone down there since he got zapped because that scared him even though he wonât say it did! I even asked mom and dad but mom said she hadnât seen him since Saturday aft-afternoo-oon but I was the one she talked to on Saturday. But heâs saying heâs a big boy so I thought he mightâve walked himself to school, but the teachers said he wasnât there anâ Tucker hadnât seen âim anâ anâ i tried to tell the teachers but they thought i was telling stories again like they always do anâ I do-donât know what to do but i need a-a hero so I called you!â
Slightly on autopilot as she processed those words (not even recognizing the name in the poor childâs story as the same as Dannyâs friend until later), she asked for some basic information. âOkay, sweetheart. Iâm happy to help, but Iâll need some information to help me find him. First whatâs your name? And how old are you?â
âMâ name is Jazz. âM seven.â
âAlright Jazz. Can you tell me your last name?â
âFenton. âM Jazz Fenton.â And suddenly everything felt a bit too coincidental.
âHey, sweetheart? Would your brotherâs name happen to be Danny?â
âYou know him!? Do you know where he is? Is he safe? Can you bring him home?â
âYes, sweetheart. He actually got to the Watchtower up in space somehow. We were actually trying to figure out where he was from, but thatâs a lot harder when he doesnât know a lot of the information that would help us. We actually had just figured out where he lived to get him home when your call got to me. Would you mind answering some questions we have while we work on getting your brother back to you?â
âYeah, as long as Dannyâs safe. Can I talk to him?â
âSure thing sweetheart, just give me a bit.â Stepping back into the meeting room, Diana handed put her phone on speaker before holding it toward Danny and telling him âDanny, your sister, Jazz, is on the phone.â Due to the view of space that they had, they had thankfully been able to contain the child. Mostly.
âJazzy! Iâs in space! Iâs so cool! Anâ tha hewos are weally weally nice!â
âThatâs great, Danny. I was really worried when I couldnât find you this morning!â
âIâs sowwy. I fwewed. I âidnât know i could do thaâ befow.â
fucking hell, even if you think the kids making it up. at least check it out.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus! Â When Batman (and the rest of the JL, but we all know the biggest reaction with be from Bats) hears this, things...start to move very quickly. Â For the purposes of this scenario, Jazz borrowed a phone from one of her older classmates to make the call, so sheâs still at the school when all this is going down. Â Wonder Woman is talking soothingly to her on the line, both assuring her that help is on the way and keeping the rest of the JL updated through Jâonnâs telepathic link. Â Batman, in the meanwhile, has tapped several members as a response team (himself, Wonder Woman and Black Canary as she has psych experience), managed to get Danny to latch on to another member who is staying behind (again, likely Martian Manhunter because ACTUAL REAL ALIEN! Â Tell me all about Mars, please?!) and made a very stern phone call to the Amity Park CPS office. Â The gist of the call? Â You have allowed a very serious abuse case to slip through the cracks. Â I you donât have an agent at Casper Elementary School in the next 20 minutes, I will ensure everyone knows about it.
They Zeta down the the closest major city and the waiting Batwing flies them over in record time. Â Once they arrive, Jazz comes sprinting out (followed by a rather perplexed gaggle of teachers, administrators and curious students) to fling herself into Wonder Womanâs open arms. Â When the CPS agent gets there...well, things are kinda tense...
CPS flunky: Â Really, the girl is always going on about having to fight her food and kill it again before she can safely eat it! Â Why are you even...
Batman: Â *doomglare* Â This childâs brother somehow managed to sleepwalk into the Watchtower.
Wonder Woman: Â *still cradling Jazz* Â Which is, if you didnât know, in low Earth orbit.
Black Canary: *resisting the urge to use her scream on this idiot* Â And, even if this wasnât the case, YOU CHECK THESE THINGS OUT REGARDLESS!!!
The CPS flunky (and the rest of the Caspar Elementary staff) goes corpse white and starts pulling out some paperwork from their bags. Â After listening (and Jazz is so relieved to FINALLY be listened to) to the story, they say they need to assess the home situation immediately. Â And the JL members insist on accompanying them for this.
Which leads to the CPS flunky, Batman and Wonder Woman standing outside the door of FentonWorks (Black Canary stayed back with Jazz) and about to knock on the door...
...what could possibly go wrong?
Dave didnât think the situation would be as bad as it was. Everyone knew the Fentonâs where wackos, always going on about ghosts. They where annoying yes but harmless, unless Jack Fenton was driving but that was the traffic cops department not his.
Dave was not expecting to get shot by green lasers when he rang the doorbell (if it wasnât for Wonder Woman he would have more than just a hole in his tie). Nor was he expecting Jasmineâs non-reaction as she used her house key to open the door (maybe he should have listened when she told him not to ring the bell)
At first the living room looked pretty typical for small town America but then Dave noticed some peculiarities. The room was mostly clean but only the bottom half. Everything under five feet was spotless, over five feet and it was filthy. Jasmine Fenton was under five feet but with her arms outstretched she could probably just reach the cleaning line.
The kitchen also looked fairly normal, if not for the step stools and toy guns on the kitchen table. The stools where everywhere, by the fridge, the cupboards, even the stove. Dave checked the cupboards, there was cheap but relatively healthy food at the bottom and expired snacks up top, far out of Jasmineâs reach even with the step stool.
Dave made a quick peak in the fridge and -
âŚ.
Food should not do that, it should not be glowing and moving. Those where hotdogs how where they moving? If it wasnât for Batman and Jasmine he would be dead three times today. He thought the gun was a toy, it shot lasers just like the door bell. What kind of parents left working laser guns on the kitchen table and why did Jasmine even know how to use it. This was worse than he thought.
Just when Dave thought it couldnât get any worse and explosion came from the basement. Jasmine didnât even flinch, she just went to the bottom shelf next to the basement door and grabbed an EMT sized first aid kit and headed down the steps with the heroes in quick pursuit.
âŚ.
He was only a few seconds behind them, how had Batman end up covered in glowing green goo, why was Black Canary and Wonder Woman in a fist fight with the Fentons, where those open chemicals and a weapons vault and was that a swirling green portal in the wall. Why where the Fentons claiming the heroes where ghosts and telling Jasmine to throw them weapons, was that a bazooka, and a whip with Jack Fentonâs face on it. What the hell was going on!
âŚ
Dave was going to retire. He was going to retire and move far away from the Fenton menace. The Drs. Fenton had been detained, tied up in their own glowing green net. Now they where yelling at Jasmine, saying she was a ghost, that was the only reason they could think of that she would shoot them with a net gun after they tried to shoot the downed Batman with the Bazooka.
Jasmine was seconds away from crying, saying she wasnât a ghost and just wanted them to stop fighting. Her parents started going on about how the ghosts where obviously tricking her, and how she could be so stupid to believe a ghost, and how they raised her better than that. All this was going on as the seven year old patched up her parents wounds with a worryingly practiced ease.
Dave didnât know what to do, none of his training mentioned what to do when mad scientists attacked the Justice League. No fosters in Amity would dare take the kids in fear their parents would come looking for them. Dave had seen Jack Fenton go through brick walls like the Kool-Aid Man, he doubted any prison could hold him for long. And if Daniel had powers like the heroes thought it would be even harder to place the kids in a home together.
Apparently Batman is a mind reader as just as Dave was about to bring up the placement issue the dark knight gave Dave the contact info of a league approved emergency foster who would take the kids in no questions asked. Dave looked at the card and thought maybe the rumors where true, maybe Batman was Bruce Wayneâs sugar baby.
Welp, looks like the only way Diana is gonna get to have her precious new kids is to take one for the team and marry Bruce Wayne. Thatâs life, I suppose.
If Diana wanted kids she should have been registered as an emergency foster parent. Themâs the breaks.
Diana is absolutely going to get a foster licence now and apply to get the kids. "After all Bruce, me or J'onn would be far better suited guardians for the children! It's either that or you marry me!"
Jason is super pleased to find out Wonder Woman is going to be his new Mom. Dick is fine with it. But his OTP will always be superbat!
Jason is so determined to get his OTP canonized he blackmails Tim into helping him prevent Diana from becoming a foster so that she has no choice but to marry Bruce.
Tim thinks itâs a stupid idea. On the other hand he does not want Kon to be his stepbrother if Dickâs SuperBat plans ever succeed and if Bruce is already married, weâll at least it would add a speed bump for whatever he was scheming.
Dick: âHAH! As if that would stop my plans! Brucie boy has two hands and a family history of polyamory; I WILL have my SuperStepdad!!â
Tim: please Dick think of Damian. Do you really want to explain what the âstrange feelingsâ he gets around Jon really mean and then turn around and break his little black heart by telling him he and Jon canât be together cause theyâre step brothers?
Dick *torn between his two otps SuperBat and DamiJon*- distressed duck notices.
Dick:... That's a dirty rotten move. Fine.
Tim: Thank you! You just made me, Jason AND Damian pleased!
----
Danny and Jazz have been having an interesting time. Mom and Dad are now in prison. And they live in a new house. And Danny gets to see Martian Manhunter lots! Cause of his new powers! And they get to see Wonder Woman too! Apparently Jazz has powers too! Just not as strong as Danny! How cool is that! So they get to train like heroes do!
And Mr Bruce is ok. Mr Alfred is the best! And they have lots of new siblings! Jazz doesn't have to spend all her time looking after Danny! She gets to just be a kid!
Okay, but Jazz and Danny might be mature for their ages but they're still a lot younger than the Bats are used to spending time around long term. This combined with the fact that all of the Wayne's(including Alfred) are emotionally incompetent means that there's a lot that they don't know how to do to take care of them. Diana might be from a land where there are no men and all are created from clay, but Amazons love children(as you can see in the famous scene in her movie) and probably raise the rare children communally, so she has a much firmer grasp on their needs excluding the fact that she probably raises them to be warriors as well so that they can defend themselves and their loved ones.
This means that Diana is over a lot, so while she first intended to keep things platonic with Bruce despite helping him raise a couple of children, seeing the Bats in their civilian and personal lives endears them to her especially seeing them trying to push through their own trauma to be emotionally open with the former Fentons do that they'll be comfortable and develop properly. She's already seen that Bruce had a good heart and is a trustworthy brother in arms, and this leads to them actually starting to have a romantic relationship.
In the middle of a Justice League meeting, Batman feels a tug on his cape. He looks down to see a little boy who could easily pass as one of his.
"Erm," the boy starts. "I frew up."
Strange things had been happening to Danny ever since he went into the big tunnel in Mommy and Daddyâs lab and got zapped.
He got really clumsy all of the sudden, things kept falling out of his hands and he kept getting his feet stuck in weird places. He also got really good at hide and seek, Tucker looked right at him and still didnât see him. His booboos got better really fast and heâs was better at gymboree than he was before.
Danny tried telling Mommy and Daddy about what was happening but they where so happy their tunnel was working he didnât want to bother them, they where so sad when it didnât work, besides Jazzy said he was a big boy now and big boys took care of their own problems. This problem however was too big for even a big boy like him.
He was just on the ops center looking at the stars and wishing he could touch them. He thought about what Tucker said about the superheroes having a clubhouse in space and he wondered if he could see it if he looked hard enough. Danny stared and stared and the stars started looking closer and closer. Then he saw the clubhouse it was getting bigger too. Danny wondered if he looked hard enough if he could see his favorite hero Martian Manhunter if he looked close enough, maybe heâd even see Batman, he was Sammyâs favorite.
He didnât see Martian Manhunter through the windows but he did see Batman. It looked like Batman and the other heroes where having group time at their circle table, they had lots of papers out, maybe it was drawing time. Danny wondered what they where drawing and looked so hard through the window it was like he went through it and was standing in the room with the heroes.
Suddenly Danny realizes he wasnât looking so hard that he saw the clubhouse, he was actually in the clubhouse. How was he supposed to go home? how did he even get up here? Did he fly? Was Danny a superhero too and didnât know it?
This was definitely a problem even a big boy couldnât solve on his own, so he did what Jazzy always told him to do if he found a problem too big for even a big boy to fix, tell an adult.
He walked up to the closest hero and tugged at his cape. âErm,â he started âI flew upâ
âŚâŚ.
TLDR- Danny got his powers at age five and doesnât realize he has powers until he accidentally flies to the watch tower.
I canât stop myself
âŚ.
All the superheroes where really nice. Batman gave him a juice box and Flash got a bunch of fun snacks. The heroes where asking him all kinds of questions, he felt like it was show and tell.
âŚ.
Whatâs your name?
Danny
How did you get up here?
I flewed
Where did you come from?
My house
Whatâs your address?
I donât have a dress, Jazzy has a few but I donât think they will fit you
What are your parents names?
Mommy and Daddy
What do the other adults call your parents?
Crazy
Where do you go to school?
Miss Hartmanâs class
Do your Mommy and Daddy know youâre here?
I donât know
How long have you been flying?
I didnât know I could fly till I got here
How did you get inside?
I went through the window
What does your house look like?
Itâs a brown house with a spaceship on top and a big green sign
What does the sign say?
I donât know I canât read good yet, but it starts with an F, we learned about the letter F this week, Miss Hartman let me and Tucker talk about it cause both our names have an F in it.
What part of your name has an F in it?
Fenton
âŚ
The heroes seemed really happy to learn that Fenton started with an F.
Fenton isn't the most common name but having more info to narrow things down would be great, so they ask about the little one what the F in his friends name stands for.
"Foley"
Now two last names to narrow down the City, maybe even neighbourhood.
And they found it.
Very solidly on Earth, the parents are known Ghost hunters with little ghosts to hunt. And then they ask the boy if anything weird had happened before he started feeling different.
"I've been really clumsy since I went into the Tunnel Mommy and Daddy built. It zapped me real bad and they look really happy since it started to work on top of me! I've never gone through walls, disappeared and flown though. Maybe that's from the fighting breakfast sausages I had this morning?"
...
Well, that's concerning.
Jazz was having a really bad day.
It all started when she couldnât find Danny this morning. At first she did t think is was weird Danny wasnât in his own bed, since the portal started working she had been finding Danny sleeping in all kinds of strange places, maybe he was sleep walking.
She looked everywhere in the house; Dannyâs bed, under his bed, his closet, under her bed, in her closet, mom and dads room (they didnât sleep there again), under the kitchen table, in the cupboards, on top of the fridge, under the couch, behind the TV, in the scary closet lady in the dungeon, and every hidey hole Danny had in the ops center.
She even checked the lab, even though she knew Danny wouldnât go there willingly, he had been scared of the lab since he got zapped, even if he wouldnât admit it.
Mom and Dad where too busy to even listen to her worries, again. It had gotten worse since the portal started working. She thought they never left the lab before but now she knew it could get worse, because it had. After getting the net off herself (they thought she was a ghost again) she asked them if they had seen Danny. Mom said they hadnât seen Danny since Saturday afternoon. It was Thursday morning. And it had been her Mom talked too on Saturday. Why had she asked her parents they wouldnât have known anyway.
Maybe Danny had already headed to school. He was always saying he was a big boy now and he was ready for âsponsibilities like getting himself dressed in the morning and setting the table. Maybe he decided to be âsponsible and walk to school early today. She was going to have a long talk with Danny again, he should know better than to leave the house without telling her, or going to school without his backpack, or his lunch.
Jazz really hoped Danny was at school.
âŚ.
Danny wasnât at school.
Miss. Hartman hadnât seen him, Tucker hadnât seen him, Sam hadnât seen him, the hall monitor hadnât seen him, the lunch lady hadnât seen him, nobody had seen Danny.
Jazz was trying her best not to cry. Danny was missing and none of the adults where listening to her. She told them she couldnât find Danny, that she hadnât seen him since last night, that she had hoped he went to school without her.
They just told her not to worry, the adults were sure Danny was safe at home, and that her parents just forgot to call the school, and that she was making up stories again.
Why did adults always think she was making up stories when she told them the truth.
But no, there was no way Jazz and Danny could walk to school alone, they where far too young. No way Jazz knew how to cook, she could barely reach the stove top. No way Jazz could have fought glowing hotdogs, food doesnât do that.
Why did adults never take her seriously. Danny was missing and no one cared. They just told her she was exaggerating and that if Danny was missing surely her parents would have noticed.
But they didnât
Mom and Dad never notice
They are always too busy trying to hunt ghosts!
(Jazz was starting to think there where no ghosts but if she admitted it than it meant her parents ignored them for nothing)
Jazz felt the hot tears welling in her eyes.
She heard the teachers try to calm her down
She tasted the salt of her tears on her tongue as she sobbed
She heard the principal try to call her parents (like they would leave the lab long enough to pick up)
She wanted her little brother. She needed to know he was safe. She needed the adults to listen to her for once.
She needed-
She needed someone to rescue her.
She needed a hero.
Does the JL have a public hotline? I can just see a conversation happening. Like, the operators are trained to work with adults and teens reacting to a crisis not distressed seven year olds crying and babbling so bad they canât even tell what language is being spoken. So eventually after being passed from operator to operator to try and find someone who can understand her (even the parents whoâd dealt with distressed kids werenât having any luck) and knows what to do all the while sheâs getting more distressed because no one is listening, someone eventually decides to see if the heroes with more experience with distressed experience could help. Wonder Woman as one of the more personable members agrees to take the call.
âHey sweetheart,â Diana said, stepping out of the meeting room, âI know whatever is happening is probably a lot, but I canât make out what youâre saying. Can you take a few deep breaths for me? I know it sounds silly, but it will help.â
The child on the line (the area code put them in the same part of Illinois as Amity Park which she took note of) followed her instructions before repeating their message. âMy, b-brother is is missing and and no-no one is listening! I-I have-havenât seen since last n-night and I looked around the wh-whole house! I looked all over his room and my room and mom and dadâs room and the living room and the kitchen and the lab even though he hasnât gone down there since he got zapped because that scared him even though he wonât say it did! I even asked mom and dad but mom said she hadnât seen him since Saturday aft-afternoo-oon but I was the one she talked to on Saturday. But heâs saying heâs a big boy so I thought he mightâve walked himself to school, but the teachers said he wasnât there anâ Tucker hadnât seen âim anâ anâ i tried to tell the teachers but they thought i was telling stories again like they always do anâ I do-donât know what to do but i need a-a hero so I called you!â
Slightly on autopilot as she processed those words (not even recognizing the name in the poor childâs story as the same as Dannyâs friend until later), she asked for some basic information. âOkay, sweetheart. Iâm happy to help, but Iâll need some information to help me find him. First whatâs your name? And how old are you?â
âMâ name is Jazz. âM seven.â
âAlright Jazz. Can you tell me your last name?â
âFenton. âM Jazz Fenton.â And suddenly everything felt a bit too coincidental.
âHey, sweetheart? Would your brotherâs name happen to be Danny?â
âYou know him!? Do you know where he is? Is he safe? Can you bring him home?â
âYes, sweetheart. He actually got to the Watchtower up in space somehow. We were actually trying to figure out where he was from, but thatâs a lot harder when he doesnât know a lot of the information that would help us. We actually had just figured out where he lived to get him home when your call got to me. Would you mind answering some questions we have while we work on getting your brother back to you?â
âYeah, as long as Dannyâs safe. Can I talk to him?â
âSure thing sweetheart, just give me a bit.â Stepping back into the meeting room, Diana handed put her phone on speaker before holding it toward Danny and telling him âDanny, your sister, Jazz, is on the phone.â Due to the view of space that they had, they had thankfully been able to contain the child. Mostly.
âJazzy! Iâs in space! Iâs so cool! Anâ tha hewos are weally weally nice!â
âThatâs great, Danny. I was really worried when I couldnât find you this morning!â
âIâs sowwy. I fwewed. I âidnât know i could do thaâ befow.â
fucking hell, even if you think the kids making it up. at least check it out.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus! Â When Batman (and the rest of the JL, but we all know the biggest reaction with be from Bats) hears this, things...start to move very quickly. Â For the purposes of this scenario, Jazz borrowed a phone from one of her older classmates to make the call, so sheâs still at the school when all this is going down. Â Wonder Woman is talking soothingly to her on the line, both assuring her that help is on the way and keeping the rest of the JL updated through Jâonnâs telepathic link. Â Batman, in the meanwhile, has tapped several members as a response team (himself, Wonder Woman and Black Canary as she has psych experience), managed to get Danny to latch on to another member who is staying behind (again, likely Martian Manhunter because ACTUAL REAL ALIEN! Â Tell me all about Mars, please?!) and made a very stern phone call to the Amity Park CPS office. Â The gist of the call? Â You have allowed a very serious abuse case to slip through the cracks. Â I you donât have an agent at Casper Elementary School in the next 20 minutes, I will ensure everyone knows about it.
They Zeta down the the closest major city and the waiting Batwing flies them over in record time. Â Once they arrive, Jazz comes sprinting out (followed by a rather perplexed gaggle of teachers, administrators and curious students) to fling herself into Wonder Womanâs open arms. Â When the CPS agent gets there...well, things are kinda tense...
CPS flunky: Â Really, the girl is always going on about having to fight her food and kill it again before she can safely eat it! Â Why are you even...
Batman: Â *doomglare* Â This childâs brother somehow managed to sleepwalk into the Watchtower.
Wonder Woman: Â *still cradling Jazz* Â Which is, if you didnât know, in low Earth orbit.
Black Canary: *resisting the urge to use her scream on this idiot* Â And, even if this wasnât the case, YOU CHECK THESE THINGS OUT REGARDLESS!!!
The CPS flunky (and the rest of the Caspar Elementary staff) goes corpse white and starts pulling out some paperwork from their bags. Â After listening (and Jazz is so relieved to FINALLY be listened to) to the story, they say they need to assess the home situation immediately. Â And the JL members insist on accompanying them for this.
Which leads to the CPS flunky, Batman and Wonder Woman standing outside the door of FentonWorks (Black Canary stayed back with Jazz) and about to knock on the door...
...what could possibly go wrong?
Dave didnât think the situation would be as bad as it was. Everyone knew the Fentonâs where wackos, always going on about ghosts. They where annoying yes but harmless, unless Jack Fenton was driving but that was the traffic cops department not his.
Dave was not expecting to get shot by green lasers when he rang the doorbell (if it wasnât for Wonder Woman he would have more than just a hole in his tie). Nor was he expecting Jasmineâs non-reaction as she used her house key to open the door (maybe he should have listened when she told him not to ring the bell)
At first the living room looked pretty typical for small town America but then Dave noticed some peculiarities. The room was mostly clean but only the bottom half. Everything under five feet was spotless, over five feet and it was filthy. Jasmine Fenton was under five feet but with her arms outstretched she could probably just reach the cleaning line.
The kitchen also looked fairly normal, if not for the step stools and toy guns on the kitchen table. The stools where everywhere, by the fridge, the cupboards, even the stove. Dave checked the cupboards, there was cheap but relatively healthy food at the bottom and expired snacks up top, far out of Jasmineâs reach even with the step stool.
Dave made a quick peak in the fridge and -
âŚ.
Food should not do that, it should not be glowing and moving. Those where hotdogs how where they moving? If it wasnât for Batman and Jasmine he would be dead three times today. He thought the gun was a toy, it shot lasers just like the door bell. What kind of parents left working laser guns on the kitchen table and why did Jasmine even know how to use it. This was worse than he thought.
Just when Dave thought it couldnât get any worse and explosion came from the basement. Jasmine didnât even flinch, she just went to the bottom shelf next to the basement door and grabbed an EMT sized first aid kit and headed down the steps with the heroes in quick pursuit.
âŚ.
He was only a few seconds behind them, how had Batman end up covered in glowing green goo, why was Black Canary and Wonder Woman in a fist fight with the Fentons, where those open chemicals and a weapons vault and was that a swirling green portal in the wall. Why where the Fentons claiming the heroes where ghosts and telling Jasmine to throw them weapons, was that a bazooka, and a whip with Jack Fentonâs face on it. What the hell was going on!
âŚ
Dave was going to retire. He was going to retire and move far away from the Fenton menace. The Drs. Fenton had been detained, tied up in their own glowing green net. Now they where yelling at Jasmine, saying she was a ghost, that was the only reason they could think of that she would shoot them with a net gun after they tried to shoot the downed Batman with the Bazooka.
Jasmine was seconds away from crying, saying she wasnât a ghost and just wanted them to stop fighting. Her parents started going on about how the ghosts where obviously tricking her, and how she could be so stupid to believe a ghost, and how they raised her better than that. All this was going on as the seven year old patched up her parents wounds with a worryingly practiced ease.
Dave didnât know what to do, none of his training mentioned what to do when mad scientists attacked the Justice League. No fosters in Amity would dare take the kids in fear their parents would come looking for them. Dave had seen Jack Fenton go through brick walls like the Kool-Aid Man, he doubted any prison could hold him for long. And if Daniel had powers like the heroes thought it would be even harder to place the kids in a home together.
Apparently Batman is a mind reader as just as Dave was about to bring up the placement issue the dark knight gave Dave the contact info of a league approved emergency foster who would take the kids in no questions asked. Dave looked at the card and thought maybe the rumors where true, maybe Batman was Bruce Wayneâs sugar baby.
Welp, looks like the only way Diana is gonna get to have her precious new kids is to take one for the team and marry Bruce Wayne. Thatâs life, I suppose.
If Diana wanted kids she should have been registered as an emergency foster parent. Themâs the breaks.
Diana is absolutely going to get a foster licence now and apply to get the kids. "After all Bruce, me or J'onn would be far better suited guardians for the children! It's either that or you marry me!"
Jason is super pleased to find out Wonder Woman is going to be his new Mom. Dick is fine with it. But his OTP will always be superbat!
Jason is so determined to get his OTP canonized he blackmails Tim into helping him prevent Diana from becoming a foster so that she has no choice but to marry Bruce.
Tim thinks itâs a stupid idea. On the other hand he does not want Kon to be his stepbrother if Dickâs SuperBat plans ever succeed and if Bruce is already married, weâll at least it would add a speed bump for whatever he was scheming.
Dick: âHAH! As if that would stop my plans! Brucie boy has two hands and a family history of polyamory; I WILL have my SuperStepdad!!â
Tim: please Dick think of Damian. Do you really want to explain what the âstrange feelingsâ he gets around Jon really mean and then turn around and break his little black heart by telling him he and Jon canât be together cause theyâre step brothers?
Dick *torn between his two otps SuperBat and DamiJon*- distressed duck notices.
Dick:... That's a dirty rotten move. Fine.
Tim: Thank you! You just made me, Jason AND Damian pleased!
----
Danny and Jazz have been having an interesting time. Mom and Dad are now in prison. And they live in a new house. And Danny gets to see Martian Manhunter lots! Cause of his new powers! And they get to see Wonder Woman too! Apparently Jazz has powers too! Just not as strong as Danny! How cool is that! So they get to train like heroes do!
And Mr Bruce is ok. Mr Alfred is the best! And they have lots of new siblings! Jazz doesn't have to spend all her time looking after Danny! She gets to just be a kid!
The Fentons need a serious reality check.
They have spent the entire time yelling about ghosts kidnapping their kids all the way through the trial.
The only thing that makes them shut up is seeing the pictures of their home and the old scars on their bodies.
I'm not sure what, if anything, finally breaks through their obsessions.
Regardless, they will be spending a long time in prison.
Or rather they should, but the GIW and Amanda Waller have other plans.
Maybe they have the lab being recorded and there's footage of Danny being killed by the portal. Seeing their baby boy electrocuted and in turn turned into a ghost might be just the reality check they need. Or for them to spiral further into insanity, but I'm a positive person (or try to be) and they do end up changing. Maddie would be inconsolable, Jack would be near comatose. They killed their son with their experiments. They killed... They killed their son.
The only thing that gives them purpose anymore is trying to prove theyâre good parents by joining the Suicide Squad
Amanda Waller can suck it. All my homies HATE Amanda Waller.
(my homies, as far as I'm aware, have never read a comic in their lives lawl)