BOYCOTT MICROSOFT GAMES (incl. games by blizzard, bethesda, mojang, and obsidian)
lok ming 樂明, 25, it/its, tme. aka @eastgaysian. this is my gamer's den for primarily dragon age and rogue trader, which is to say i post all kinds of bullshit and never maintag anything
doodle tag + 'polished' art + writing. i think lyrium causes impotence and thedosian women are subject to the andraste-witch dichotomy.
don't make me tap the sign (read the wretched of middle earth by charles w. mills)
carrd oc directory here (eternal wip); tag links below ⬇️
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some other malicious white boy musings while i'm at it that i've never like Made A Post about:
i'm always on a torturing him kick but it's vital to remember that caden trevelyan's deep-seated belief that it's fine he got hit as a kid extends to believing that, in general, there are children who deserve to get hit, and people who deserve to suffer and be punished for their own good and/or everyone else's. this is just a sad but necessary truth about the world
it's very important to me that havard trevelyan did actually embody the ideal of the good templar. there's no skeletons in the closet that caden could dig up to disillusion him about the great-uncle that saved him. if he's ever going to change and grow as a person and question his beliefs, he has to directly contend with the fact that what havard did to him was fucked up, even though none of it was out of line with being the Good Templar
he was literally biting people hard enough to draw blood as a child. him biting another recruit in a fight was the first major incident havard had to step in and handle
if owain ever tried to have a conversation with caden about how sometimes he worries that sending caden to the templars was actually bad for him, maybe there was another way that he could've lived as a boy without going through all that, it would make caden's brain short circuit and he'd attempt a murder suicide
ultimately the simplest way of putting it is that caden trevelyan is gay and in love with his brother. one could argue, in fact, that this is kind of the crux of his entire sexuality and gender identity? it's important to note that he keeps this deeply buried under twenty layers of repression, and it would be his absolute worst nightmare for owain to ever discover this much less reciprocate these feelings, which is - and this is just as key - never going to happen. owain will never find out and he would absolutely never view or treat caden in any light other than platonic affection towards his youngest sibling who's kind of always going to be a rowdy little kid to him. which is what makes it in one sense safe for caden to feel this way, but also makes it that much more despicable to pollute their relationship with the evil desires that caden has because he was born evil probably. no other possible explanation.
who put this here. caden trevelyan voice It's fine that I got hit as a kid because I deserved it. It's good that there were times when Ser Havard punished me more harshly than the other recruits, because he needed to show that he wasn't playing favorites. Owain never raised a hand against me, no matter how much of a brat I was being, and he made such a fuss after learning one of the stablehands boxed my ears that the man was sent packing. But then he introduced me to Ser Havard and told me he was a good man. Ser Havard disciplined me with a purpose, for my own good, to make me a better person and a good templar. And if the only time Ser Havard ever gave me an affectionate or comforting touch is after I got the birch, that's fine, because that was the only time I earned it. Wanting anything more is more than I deserve. Wanting anything is evil. Anything that I want is evil. Anything that is done to me is good and deserved. Especially if it hurts me and I don't want it. It's really very simple. You understand.
The only person who doesn't, it seems, is Owain, because he's stupid. But I also believe fundamentally that he is a good person. Such a good person, in fact, that he always treated me, a fundamentally evil child, with kindness I never deserved. And I don't want that, because it's evil, which I know because I want it and anything that I want is evil. If you think what I want is a very basic human need for affection and a perfectly understandable wish for a positive relationship with my brother, the only close familial relationship I ever really had, you're wrong, it's actually evil. We don't have to discuss in further detail why or how. So it's very simple, basically. I can't stand it when he touches me and I wish he would stop.
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also btw when i was looking up 'gauche' to make sure i was using and spelling it correctly (as one does) i learned that its literally 'left' in french, like the direction. once again historical discrimination of left-handedness rears its strange, ugly head ig
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it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves
i did actually write marx in this post at first and then went no but that's just alienation of labor for real. thus i changed it to mao to create the oddly specific nonsense vibe that i thought was funnier
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