River

mc is a sassy middle aged science teacher who would both kill/die(?) for his friends, but would also trade them for a snickers purely for the love of the game. would rather shave his head than kiss someone

mc looks like he did crack in college and would probably throw hands with his 86 y/o professor for forcing certain beliefs in the classroom. he would lose and whine about it.

there's a silly little rock thing that is really good friends with the mc and has very little understanding of exactly how humans work. would panic if it saw synchronized swimming

they're in space I think. maybe.

silly little rock has a big silly green rock partner

there's a girl and I think she would sell mc for loose pocket change and an oreo

happy pride month!! some aro ace Phantumps to celebrate!

her name was Marsha P Johnson, and we have her to thank for so much.

remember, the first Pride was a riot, and she was one of the brave souls who endured it to help carve the path which so many of us walk today. she helped found several activist groups regarding LGBT safety and wellbeing. and she was absolutely radiant, too.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…