i'm a dog

All the people saying they’re getting inspired to write something from this, SEND THEM TO ME NEEOOWWWW you’re required to by law

just saw the phrase "abortionable amount of weeks pregnant"

reblog to give a strawberry to the person you reblogged this from

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

But both Mommy and my little condensation slut gave our condensent so like I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for yours... I guess I could get like a new table or whatever but it's just not the same if it isn't mahogany.

okay red what the fuck do you mean "condesent"

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

Hell yeah moon holiday

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY

moon day is 20th July!!!

Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!

Happy moon day to all who celebrate

This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.

OH HEY, THATS TOMORROW

@photomatt should kill himself.

I genuinely hope this circulates forever.

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

World Heritage Post

you people aren't CASTING

Start a women's only tabletop space where stink is mandatory. And also baring your armpits and feet. And sex is allowed.

It's called tabletop cause you can top her on the table

It's called dungeons and dragons BC the game room should resemble a sex dungeon by the DND of the campaign and at least one player should bring along a bad dragon. Otherwise it's objectively not DND anymore

can everyone get woke again. I miss her. I miss woke.

and by woke I mean aware of racism. the original meaning. don't do stupid bullshit here. woke = aware of anti-Black racism . ok