just a potato

Now who has a source for the shorts

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

Is there anything worse than talking to a non-Tumblr friend about something, and KNOWING that there's a PERFECT Tumblr reference for the situation they're describing to you but it would take 10 minutes of convoluted explanations to set up, and not only would they probably not laugh at the end but also they would definitely look at you different after.

Fun fact: the DC area will be hotter than 99% of the earth tomorrow!

It's not global climate change, it's someone who just really hates Trump so much they changed the earth's entire climate. Christ.

absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun