Don't go where I can't follow

keiko o'brien finds this poster looking for classroom decor. "what a lovely message!" she says, and puts in the center spot on her classroom bulletin board. she's so glad that the bajoran national media is doing such amazing campaigns. the next day kai winn mails her a dead rat. i mean an anonymous person mails her a dead rat with a message protesting the spread of blasphemy (some of the models posed without earrings)

moral of the story and a lesson i think everyone can take from this is don’t expect yourself to just get over your bad habits through sheer force of will. it won’t fucking happen. instead make them as annoying as possible to continue. make them completely unsatisfying. sabotage your bad habits.

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

wait wtf is cream soda

cause when we're creaming and popping...

we’re cropping?

we're peaming

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

aaaaa omg a coworker just came to my desk like "oh, you changed your name? me too, look!--" and pointed out her badge and then her ringless hand and gleefully announced, "divorce!!" and we exchanged congratulations and fist bumped djdnsnjs best interaction of my entire transition

STATUS: DIVORCED (POSITIVE)

EVERY fucking stupid liberals university in the star trek future their fucking student sketch comedy group OF COURSE has at least one Vulcan and it's like their thing where they're like "haha I bet you wouldn't expect a VULCAN in an IMPROV group!!!!!" as if this hasn't become such a fucking tired cliche like literally since 2063 every fucking comedy show has the token Vulcan to be the straight man. you're doing nothing. call me when you guys make an effort to actually include tellarites in the writing room instead of confining them to punch lines. and to be honest with you guys your Vulcan isn't even that good. his performance was highly derivative of T'min's work in the big bang theory 3 (the third big bang yheory. they make a lot of sitcom sequels in the future)

The last thing you said cannot be true because star trek is supposed to be a utopian future.

star trek is very demonstrably not a utopian future it's a broken society playing at paradise. we see hints of this earlier in the post when I mention university improv comedy groups

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

is anybody out there