That's How It Is On This Bitch Of An Earth

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

Tumblr is returning to its natural state. Nature is healing.

This is what they say at the aisle instead of “I do”

This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take

Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

Reblog for Freddie Mercury level belief in yourself this new year! 

I’ll fucking do it, darling

im not a native speaker so everything in english sounds funny to me but few things have been as funny as “fuck it we ball”

I laughed so hard I gave myself an actual headache oml

This is Sugar Free Gummy Bears 2

what do rugby players need all that ass for?

I wish I could use this app in a way that wasn’t basically an alternative to smoking

the mantis is making him good at baseball ratatouille style

Another member of the animal kingdom finds a bottom they can control.

The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off

The spy is following me as I walk down the street. I bob in and out of shops. Pause and accelerate my pace randomly. Stop to tie my shoe so he loses sight of me. I stay perfectly out of his reach. This is all due to being sleep deprived, confused, hungry, and lost

The spy freezes my bank account. I do not notice for three weeks and only because Netflix sends me an email about non-payment

The spy chasing me does a stakeout at my house. After 4 days of trying to match my sleeping pattern he has to call HQ for backup

What did you do that requires a spy to follow you so thoroughly?

Honestly I have no idea. My best guess is that it's a misunderstanding

some of u will call literally any dynamic found family. bestie theyre barely co-workers 😭

We actually have been trying to sell your info but it's all shit and no one wants it