*right clicks on you*

*views your properties*

Picking up litter and helping direct traffic

SMOKEY THE BEAR

“Oh my gods… Who built this orphanage on the middle of the night? This… This… This is all up to building code!”

“It has all of its permits!”

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

Everything after (and including!) the question mark is the identifier. Destroy it!

you deserve a life you aren’t constantly recovering from

real life texture glitch

Domesticated rock has returned to the wild and become feral

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

eating would be fine if it was only a recreational activity. instead, its a horrible sisiphean nightmare and you need to do it every day without fail on threat of pain and death

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

Don't you dare malign my girl again

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

hey. im one of the people who does a specific and noticable thing right after you wake up so you realize youre in a timeloop. yeah im the guy who drops a bucket of paint off a ladder haha. yeah its a thankless job but i get paid per loop so like. dont learn your lesson too quick haha

probably feels good af to latch your jaws onto someone and not let go

i once made a text post that got 33 notes maybe you should think before you talk to me that way

With the loss of third spaces, constant urbanization, and increase in AI and social media, it almost seems like the rich and the government are trying to keep people separated... Almost as if they know that the people are stronger together and having everything in a state of isolation and loneliness makes it harder to fight back... Surely it's just a coincidence

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

caller got into a car accident on their way to work? their nonexistant son dorian was hurt. got kicked out of a bar and broke their ankle? their son dorian was the one who broke it. i now spend more time having to de-dorian the call summary than if i had just written it myself. really funny. we're required to use this now

The Picture of Dorian GrAI