where's my left leg?

you're "subbing" to watch a girl "stream" and "twitch"? ive heard enough

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

mostly i do god knows what

"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense

i was feeling silly at the gas station today so i said to the cashier that i’ll take my gas “to go” and i could see her imagining what it would be like to jump over the counter and strangle me to death

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

reblog to put a discarded fruit sticker on the forehead of the person you reblogged from in whimsical jest

trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*

ohh i get it now (doesn’t)