grad school drop out speedrun maybe
Not having a breakdown abt whether or not to go to grad school anymore because i think i’ve basically decided i want to drop out of my current program and try to go to grad school in Toronto instead to be w my loved ones. Whether or not i’ll actually drop is dependent on my bravery and ability to overcome the guilt i feel abt letting my friends here down. Going to grad school generally is a good move for me/my plans, but i really dislike my current program and only really joined it bc i love a lot of the people i’ve met here. And it’s affordable at least by american standards. But like i really just don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t stand it and i miss my friends in canada. But also even if i dropped tomorrow i would still have to wait another year before i can actually leave. And i can do my current grad program part time in the meantime just in case i don’t get in anywhere so i won’t have completely wasted my time? And if i do get in somewhere and decide to leave then i won’t have wasted that much money? Idk. I haven’t paid yet so i’m gonna go to the first two weeks of classes and see how i feel. The thought of dropping brings me a lot of relief but it’s immediately followed by overwhelming dread so idk what i should do or if there’s one right answer or if everything is just messy and bad
